Work: Today, I spent 3 hours looking at a youtube video for how to... - FML

By DoesNotLikeCubes - 06/07/2009 20:08 - Qatar

Today, I spent 3 hours looking at a youtube video for how to do rubik's cube. Even after being told how to do it, I couldn't finish it. I scroll down at the comments and read "Awesome! I'm 10 and can do it in 3 minutes now!". I'm 28 and still couldn't get it, even with a guide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 557

You deserved it 10 983

Age difference

Demonic

No need for a reason

By paulwatson93 - 17/05/2011 04:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 338

You deserved it 51 631

Repetitive

By Anonymous - 27/07/2021 04:01

Today, my husband stormed out to the pub because he couldn’t stand listening to my mother droning on and on about the same stories she always tells and the programmes she watches everyday. He didn’t think of taking me with him, so I had to stay and listen to the boring old bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 677

By me - 04/08/2012 19:14 - Canada - Debert

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to ride a bike with no training wheels. After comforting her and assuring her that she'd be fine, I gave her a big push. She fell forward over the handlebars and scraped her chin on the front wheel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 158

You deserved it 26 771

By mike - 10/07/2013 07:51 - United States

Today, I was over my grandparents' house for my grandfather's birthday. For years they would talk to each other in Italian and I could never understand them, so I started to take an online class to teach myself Italian. Now I know all they talk about is how much they hate everything about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 965

You deserved it 4 479

Doggy dog world

By Anonymous - 08/05/2021 13:59

Today, after I went to live with my biological mom, after she convinced me she’s been off drugs while I was living with my grandparents, she gave me one of two puppies she'd bought as a gift. Then she got arrested. Turns out she stole said puppy. Some things never change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 54

By The Drew - 21/09/2012 18:49 - United States

Today, after completely refilling my almost empty gas tank, I witnessed the price flip from $3.69 per gallon to $3.59. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 001

You deserved it 2 640

By upsetandunjustified - 04/11/2010 05:19 - United States

Today, I got fired from my job where you build teddy bears. I got fired not because I did anything wrong, just because they don't like my personality. I'd never worked with my boss, and that means all the employees that work there had a meeting about me, and all confirmed they don't like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 783

You deserved it 6 343

Dad prank #9866

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Sweden

Today, I had to basically ground my own husband, after he tricked our 6-year-old son into getting his tongue stuck to a frozen pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 018

You deserved it 4 980

By DesperateMother - 28/06/2016 10:12 - France - Wasselonne

Today, my 16-year-old daughter handed me the picture she wants TV reports to use if ever she happens to get kidnapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 778

You deserved it 1 036

By Thomas - 13/12/2009 06:46 - Canada

Today, I woke up to find my parents singing "Happy birthday" with lots of hugs and kisses. My birthday is next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 664

You deserved it 2 710

By wtf_fml_0609 - 01/11/2010 16:43 - United States

Today, I have a huge meeting with the big executives of the company I work at. I have to be there in 10 minutes. I'm stuck on the toilet with the runs because I thought it would be a good idea to eat hot chicken wings last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 532

You deserved it 26 006

By Damnit - 25/12/2018 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today I noticed a large crack in my windscreen. 2 weeks after getting it replaced. The warranty doesn't cover cracks. Several attempts were needed to replace it last time for reasons like losing the new windscreen and telling me they can't make it that day and turning up any way after going out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 965

You deserved it 160

By kfoehslfns - 01/08/2010 08:45 - United States

Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 357

You deserved it 12 680

The jury's out on this one

By Anonymous - 19/11/2020 11:03 - United States - Fairfax

Today, I start my second week of jury duty. I was only supposed to do one week of jury duty and then go on a week of a pre-paid vacation. Instead, I’m required to go back to court this week, I’m spending my evenings doing my regular job, and I lost nearly $1,000 that I pre-paid for lodging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 118

Gassy

By MuteNToot - 26/02/2015 21:17

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 905

You deserved it 14 292

By Anonymous - 31/07/2013 00:07 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 596

You deserved it 4 679

By Turdfoot - 12/02/2013 20:15 - United States - Prosper

Today, I discovered that my cat recently had explosive diarrhea, and couldn't make it to the litterbox in time. I discovered this when I stepped in the very, very fresh poop with my bare feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 327

You deserved it 4 385

By arbiter3 - 04/04/2011 10:13

Today, I was watching Animal Planet while babysitting my 4 year-old niece. A really cute baby bunny came on and I called her into the room, only for her to see it get killed by a Bald Eagle. Now she won't stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 030

You deserved it 17 770

Bat out of Hell

By ToxynneFlute - 05/09/2021 16:01 - United States - Battle Creek

Today, my kid threw a fit on our way home, wanting me to stop and call grandma. Why? Because she was convinced I was going to wreck the car, and grandma is a good driver who won't crash. When we got home, she stopped fussing, said, "Thank god, we're home," ran up to grandpa and said, "Mom's a scary driver." She's 3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 307

By chiclet - 02/06/2010 02:34 - France

Today, my boyfriend was talking to me on the land line when his cell phone rang. He told me to wait "two seconds" while he talked to a classmate. Their "two second" conversation lasted ten minutes, and now I can hear the French Open on the TV in background. He forgot he was talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 122

You deserved it 4 453

By wellfuckyoutoo - 24/11/2015 17:45 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, a close friend came over with her three-year-old son. The child used a crayon on the walls, flushed my money down the toilet, and threw up. My friend was seriously offended when I asked her to help me clean everything up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 636

You deserved it 1 741

Sips unsee juice

By Facepalm2020 - 21/06/2020 23:01

Today, my mom asked me what twerking was. When I said that it was a club dance, trying to get out of telling her what it actually was, she begged me to teach her how to do it. My mom complained to my dad, who grounded me for not teaching her to twerk her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 440

You deserved it 311

By Anonymous - 21/10/2012 04:24 - United States

Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my car while at a red light. A guy made it a point to get my attention and said, "If you're really going to sing that bad, you should probably roll your windows up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 310

You deserved it 11 905

By sunkissedberries - 15/07/2010 04:12 - United States

Today, I ran into my boyfriend. The same guy that told me he was still in Florida with his family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 579

You deserved it 3 857

I did your mom

By Anonymous - 31/07/2021 16:01

Spicy

Today, I foolishly asked my dad why he had a disability rail fitted, not in his bathroom next to the toilet, but above his bed instead. He told me that with his bad joints, he needs something to grab onto on Saturday nights while he’s plowing my mom doggy style. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 662

By DemCherries - 28/03/2017 15:00 - United States - Overland Park

Today, at my job as a police officer, I had to arrest my own girlfriend for having sex at Walmart. She tried to get me to let her out on the grounds of being "pretty" and dating me. She wants to continue the relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 108

You deserved it 545

By Anonymous - 03/01/2016 23:00 - United States - Kennett Square

Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 343

You deserved it 1 255

Blow it

By Anonymous - 22/10/2021 01:59

Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 509

By mmromig - 08/02/2011 14:46 - United States

Today, my therapist told me that I need to do something different with my hair. Then I paid her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 419

You deserved it 5 562

By Anonymous - 20/03/2011 03:30 - United States

Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 957

You deserved it 5 081

By mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 167

You deserved it 3 542

Ex-Lax Time

By savagepixie - 01/06/2019 14:09

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, and he thought it would be funny to steal my ring and "pretend" to swallow it. I tried to get it back, but unfortunately I "surprised" him. He reckons I'll get it back some time tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 708

You deserved it 208

By immy504 - 30/11/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 066

You deserved it 5 902

By anon - 04/12/2009 10:35 - Australia

Today, I got a birthday card in the mail from my aunt. I got all excited when I saw a cheque inside, but the cheque was addressed to the wrong name. Not only did my own aunt forget my name, I couldn't even bank the $60. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 108

You deserved it 2 710

The truth

By Theaccident - 22/01/2011 10:03 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 907

You deserved it 3 640

By Anonymous - 07/06/2017 20:00 - United States - Coplay

Today, my neighbor let me know that they've been taking care of my cats while I was away, including letting them in and out of my house. I don't own a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 070

You deserved it 252

By aprilfools22 - 17/08/2011 08:13 - United States

Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 838

You deserved it 12 588

By Ido - 26/08/2010 20:06 - Canada

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend from the top of a bungee jumping platform at an amusement park. I yelled out, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" from the platform, pointing her out. Turns out, I was pointing at the wrong girl. My girlfriend was very angry and ran away when the wrong girl yelled, "Yes!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 925

You deserved it 16 086

Relatable, unfortunately

By Anonymous - 30/12/2020 13:58 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I realized that I'm at the age that whenever I mention a friend of the opposite gender, my family's first response is asking whether that friend is single. I've already accepted no one will want a pathetic freak like me, so their poking around what few friends I have makes it awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 122

By JuggaloSlasher15 - 08/08/2013 23:03 - United States

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 671

You deserved it 6 778

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Send a private message

Tuesday 7 July 2009 1:37

I think you need to get out more, mate.

Send a private message

Tuesday 7 July 2009 1:41

I cant do one either, but my 9 year old brother can in less a minute. And hes an idiot. So I feel your pain

Comments

Send a private message

Tuesday 7 July 2009 1:35

dont worry, im a genius and i sure as hell cant do em

MissyWissyKach 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 7 July 2009 3:34

so!! some people can do it some can't. my uncle is 32 and he can't do it. no one in my family i have known has done it so shut the fuck up and take how a 28 year old will take it

Send a private message

Tuesday 7 July 2009 4:05

anyone can do em with enough time spent.. and once you get it down you will get faster and faster but a kid learns quicker then any adult.. this isn't anything new.. you just have to put more effort into it to get it to stick.. keep at it and you will be a master in no time

Send a private message

Tuesday 7 July 2009 4:07

Totally agree.

Send a private message

Tuesday 7 July 2009 5:08

I can't do it either, but I am having a contest right now. Go to YouTube.com/rickywhitefreeze and subscribe me for your chance at an iTunes giftcard.

Send a private message

Tuesday 7 July 2009 15:14

the only thing thats FML is that you're 28 and whining about it

Send a private message

Wednesday 8 July 2009 16:03

Thats cause he's got his left inverted confused with regular left, I'm willing to put money on it

Send a private message

Sunday 27 September 2009 3:17

I can't tie a perfect tie with a guide.

Send a private message

Thursday 11 February 2010 3:50

lol

Send a private message

Tuesday 7 July 2009 1:37

I think you need to get out more, mate.

Send a private message

Tuesday 7 July 2009 1:41

Um, most likely he lied. I wouldn't really stress out about it... Solving a rubik's cube in 3 minutes or 3 hours isn't all that impressing, I guess you can say. But hey, that's just me. Maybe that turns some girls on or something.

Send a private message

Tuesday 7 July 2009 2:54

Girls throw their panties at me when I solve a Rubik's cube.

Send a private message

Tuesday 7 July 2009 5:29

#32 straight up hahaha ...Sorry #36 i did it in 1:16

Send a private message

Sunday 24 April 2011 3:08

3 minutes isn't impressive!? fuck that.

LiquidFantasy 19

Send a private message

Sunday 23 August 2015 19:06

The algorithms are actually really simple. 3 minutes is nothing. It's less than 1 minute that's hard. 3 minutes isn't even impressive for a 4x4 cube. That MIGHT be a good time for a 5x5 cube, those things can be difficult.

GleeIsTransient 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 7 July 2009 1:41

you shouldnt rly worry about that. its easier for kids to learn something than adults are, because they are still mentally flexible. that's why it's easier for a kid to learn a new language more easily than an adult probably would.

Send a private message

Tuesday 7 July 2009 1:41

I cant do one either, but my 9 year old brother can in less a minute. And hes an idiot. So I feel your pain

Send a private message

Tuesday 7 July 2009 1:42

algorithms

GleeIsTransient 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 7 July 2009 1:43

and like nuclear said, it's not all that hot. it's impressing when you're a teenager, but as an adult it just makes you look like a major nerd.

Send a private message

Tuesday 7 July 2009 1:47

its all formulas start by solving 1 side ( side = center's color ) look for a tutorial rather than on youtube! ............... FYL!

Send a private message

Wednesday 5 October 2011 5:14

wow maybe you should find something more exciting to do

LiquidFantasy 19

Send a private message

Sunday 23 August 2015 19:07

Exactly! Do a cross based on whatever colour the centre square is, then do the 4 corners.. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Send a private message

Tuesday 7 July 2009 1:53

As the great Demitri Martin said (paraphrasing): "A Rubik's Cube is like a transvestite. They're both colorful, but I don't wanna do it."

Send a private message

Saturday 8 June 2013 22:07

This is one of the greatest/ funniest comments I have ever read! XD and I feel the same way.

Send a private message

Tuesday 7 July 2009 1:56

They're cool, but don't stress it. People's minds work differently. Aptitudes are different for different people- art, mathematics, who the hell knows. I can't get more than 1 side of a cube done before dropping it.

Nearly

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22

You deserved it 3

Today, I found out my mother listens to my therapy sessions. She’s the reason I need therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20

You deserved it 1

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my college fuck buddy started sending my wife our dirty chat logs. Not only have I not spoken to her in years, but the logs are time/date stamped from when Obama was still President. She's never met my wife and I have no idea what she hopes to get out of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 110

Today, I’d been bicurious for years but always much too shy to seek out a woman to attempt intimacy. Well, I finally hooked up with a girl I’ve had a crush on for a while. Not only was it an amazing, mind-blowing experience, she also left me with a crotch searing yeast infection from hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 209

You deserved it 292