Today, while at my friend's house, I decided to climb up on a shelf and pounce on him when he came back downstairs. When I heard someone coming, I assumed it was him and pounced. It was his grandma carrying the laundry. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was in the basement at my grandma's house. The bathroom is on the ground floor and there's a laundry chute that goes down to the basement. I looked through the chute to see if the bathroom light was on. A pair of shitty underpants came down and landed in my face. They were my grandma's. FML
Today, I decided to surprise-visit my grandparents. After knocking on the door and not getting a response, I opened it and walked in. Upon entering their house and yelling, "Hello", as I turned the corner I saw my near-deaf grandmother folding clothes while watching TV. She was topless. FML
Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. She was looking for the remote, blindly trying to put her hand into the sofa. Instead, she shoved her hand down the back of my pants. FML
Today, I was playing hide and seek with my eight year old cousin. For the past two turns, he had been hiding in the bathroom. I saw the bathroom lights on, yet again, and opened the door with a triumphant "AHA!" It was my Grandma, taking a smelly dump. FML
Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML
Today, I got jumpscared, by my freshly-bathed grandma coming out of the bathroom without a towel on. FML
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
Today, my senile grandad saw me and thought I was cutting class, so he pulled his belt off and came after me. While I was trying to get away, his pants fell off and he tripped over them. I'm now getting the blame for "making him have a fall". FML
Today, I shaved my pubes while staying at my senile grandma's place. I guess I didn't clean up properly, because she found some hair and insisted someone must have broken in while we were out and used the shower. I had to play along to spare myself embarrassment. FML
Today, I was doing laundry when my downstairs neighbour knocked on my door and handed me some knickers. Apparently, it had flown off the clothesline and landed on his head while he was sweeping outside. FML
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Top comments
rigorouswolf 0
is she alive?
rockclimber919 11
what, are you like ten?
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Comments (146)
FFML_314 12
Just because your names Tony and your skin is a bit orange, doesn't mean you've earned the right to pounce like a damn tiger. Did you break Nana's hip?
MAGNAVOX 0
Your skin looks a bit orange.
FFML_314 12
You're wearing a blue shirt. Sorry, I was under the impression we were stating the obvious, without actually having a single point.
MAGNAVOX 0
Actually the shirt in the picture is black.
FFML_314 12
And my skin looks yellow. Again, do you have a point?
xiiijinx 5
You have a creepy 'stache, dude. And this comment has no point except to point out the obvious.
MAGNAVOX 0
There is a correlation between your orange skin and your Tony the tiger comment. And I didn't know there was creepy mustaches, I like the attribute:)
FFML_314 12
Your comment served no purpose. I know you said it, because I said something about OP having orange skin, but I didn't mock OP or tease them in anyway, so your comment is not correlating with mine, because the two do not relate. Your comment has no point. Now, if I were to say something to OP like "Wow, YDI for having orange skin, people with orange skin are disgusting" your comment would make sense. Also, once again, my skin is not orange. It's also called editing.
MAGNAVOX 0
Editing, HIGH 5!:)
twinny_sc 13
Ok now that that is over with back to the original comment. It made me giggle. Thank you for that. Also, I hope OP didn't break nana's hip. That would be tragic. His ninja license could be revoked.
DocBastard 40
Ninja license...I chortled, I'll admit it. It was nearly a guffaw, but just short of a snicker.
FFML_314 12
You will never get me to high five you. Keep dreaming.
zp5 4
lol
goldiefox 0
wow it always seems like ffml gets in fights a lot here on fml comments! I do wonder if you have a life?
MAGNAVOX 0
94, she does not have a life.
goldiefox 0
that's what I was thinking! Her info says she's a hip hop artist. She must not be a very good one if she's on fml all day!
FFML_314 12
You're all morons. 1. I'm not actually a hip hop artist you fucktard. It's sarcasm, because of my picture. 2. If you know I'm always in a fight on FML, that has to mean you're on here just as much. 3. I work 2 jobs that allow me to be on my phone/computer. Especially since one of them is an online job. 3. Because you actually think that was considered a "fight." 4. Obvious reasons.
goldiefox 0
I think you have something up your ass! all that comes out of your mouth is either annoying or mean! and btw your pictures looks like you being ass raped.
FFML_314 12
That's not true at all actually. I have a lot of very lighthearted comments on this site. Actually, the majority of them are funny or silly. This week has just been a good week to show people their stupidity. Your last sentence makes no sense, so it doesn't deserve a witty response. Hypocrit.
DocBastard 40
goldie, I believe that FFML is tired of stupid people making stupid comments and sounding stupid while they do it. She also is very self-assured, shall we say, and takes no shit from anyone. She's not one of these "OMG lolz!!!!" girls- she has a head on her shoulders and she uses it. If you see that as a stick up her ass, then so be it.
goldiefox 0
I'm not a omg lolz girl at all! I hate those kinds of girls! I'm not one to get mad over stupid stuff so I'm just going to stop commenting on this, call it a day, and move on in life. and TRUST me I'm no hypocrite!
FFML_314 12
Thank you, Doc. :D
CitizenSnipz 0
GIANT HAIRY CABBAGES! Did that resolve the argument? It usually does.
MAGNAVOX 0
Who got ass raped during a football game?
perdix 31
Oh, the mighty cougar hunter! Did you get to dry hump her? To young people, dry humping is going through the motions of intercourse with your clothes on, but for old folks, it IS intercourse. Hopefully, she had her Very Cherry lube with her.
pandemic_fml 0
But if she's wearing it on her face... Oh... Ew. Don't forget to take out her dentures, I guess. Hope Nana likes cherries.
nekocuppycakes 0
hahahaha oh lawdy. best comment so far!
Nyc__Princess 0
YDI. you fail at trying to be a ninja
plankton12 0
****** BOOBS
ImaginaryFoe 1
Been a while, huh?
goldiefox 0
I just wanted to say that your picture's the BOMB! haha :D
xiiijinx 5
What are you, a cat?
Florence_ 0
I don't think so, but the guy commenting above you likes them.
mintcar 10
Aw, poor granny. Hope she's okay. :(:(
tdotgirl1 0
You are an idiot HA HA HAHA HA
Vernon247 0
Suprise rape
Blaw023 0
Hahaahaha this is a def. Fail OP. Would be a win if you actually pounced on your friend haha
CitrusGirl 0
Wonder if OP will be invited back :P