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Wait, caps mean shouting? I thought caps meant God was speaking. Boy, was I misinformed. But then... if that old man in the chat room was really just a regular old man... then his heavenly staff w... Oh shit.

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Nonono, all of you have Caps Lock wrong! It's obviously the voice of the Australian Asian from Scotland that lives under my stairs.

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I know the situation sounds bad, but they could have just met and been friends during the four year relationship, not had an affair.

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It says she MET him, not she f*@#ed him. I've met a lot of people I didn't cheat with. In fact, I met my fiance while I was with my ex, but we didn't start dating until after the relationship ended.

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I don't see where it's an unlikely scenario. I met my husband while I was dating someone else. We were just friends for a while. When I realised I wanted more than friendship, I broke it off with the bf. A few weeks later, my husband and I went on our first date and I'm certain I'm not a slut. If OP and his ex did not have an amicable split, it's unlikely he'd have been invited to the wedding and even more unlikely he'd have gone.

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True, but let's keep in mind that OP's name is Stolemylady. It could imply that this new hubby was doing some flirting back then and potentially tore her from him. To some, emotional infidelity is the same as physical infidelity. It may well apply here. But yeah, I see your point about the wedding invite/leaving on good terms scenario.

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not necessarily, op will probably always feel like she was stolen but deep down he probably understands that his ex couldn't help her feelings. I'm now with someone I was in love with the whole time I was with my ex and my ex still blames him for it, yet it was my decision to break it off because my feelings for him were not there anymore. some people just don't want to think that their partner has just fallen out of love with them.

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Have to agree with br0ccoli on this one. you can just be friends with someone while dating someone else. But as soon as you start flirting or letting someone flirt with you, you're opening a door that shouldn't be opened until the relationship has run its course.

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A lady I know invited her ex-husband to her wedding to a new guy. The divorce was a mutual decision and they remained good friends. I think that it is quite nice that they still had a positive relationship together - particularly for the sake of their daughter. It could be possible that the OP had been told that his ex met her new fiance after their relationship had ended but then found out he had been lied to at the wedding.

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40, This theory only applies in marriage when you've completely committed yourself to one person. Dating is and always will be a time during which you explore what you really want in life, theres no point avoiding something like that and later wondering or regretting. It's one thing to go around sleeping with someone or setting yourself up with a strong emotional attachment, but flirting? No. She clearly didn't see herself in the same place as where he did, and if she decided to end things and

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88, excuse me if I misread what you have written, but, flirting is okay?! yes people are developing flirtatious personalities but not many relationships will you find either partner entirely happy with the other half flirting. and you're not meant to commit fully until marriage? oh right okay, I'll go flirt, kiss, have sexual relations with people because I'm still experimenting even though I'm already with the person I want to commit to. who enters a marriage without having already committed th

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GIRLS CHANGE THEIR MIND LIKE THEY CHANGE THEIR UNDERWEAR. c how the girls trying to defend op met someone while dating their current bf WTF ladies WTF

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I think OP's probably changed her underwear more than once every four years. It's ridiculous to generalise that this is a girl thing. My good male friend had the same thing happen; a friend of his had the same except he just cheated instead of breaking it off. I think when you are in a relationship, particularly an unfulfilling one, you learn what you want and don't want. Add to that the cliché when it rains, it pours. It always seems like eligible people just show up when you're attached and y

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By the way, I don't think there's anything wrong with light flirting. My husband and I trust each other and don't see marriage as a reason to cease all contact with others. Flirting and being flirted with helps you feel attractive, interesting, and desired by others. As long as it doesn't progress to physical contact or emotional attachment, that's a great energy to bring home. It tends to make you more attractive to your spouse as well.

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Downtime, I'm with you on this one. [Funny how our views on relationships can be so similar and opposing simultaneously.] Flirting is not a bad thing. My fiance is not a cheater, but I giggle when I catch him chatting with a girl who is obviously flirting. I'm okay with that. It makes him feel good. I tell him how great/hot/sexy/... he is all the time so it becomes normal. Having a college girl flirt with him in the grocery store is different. I like the occasional flirt, too, and he doesn't min

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Op deserved it for going to the wedding in the first place. Op chose to go to the wedding. If s/he didn't notice the relationship falling apart during those four years then op is stupid.

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138, Try reading first, then commenting. Stating things that I've outright explained are not acceptable - for the obvious reason of you're no longer just indicating interest and acting flirtatiously and are instead engaging in another form of relationship - then claiming that according to me these things are ok just makes your entire argument pointless. 147, I am not usually very good at remembering what I've discussed with different people, so I'll have to take your word on it :P While I per

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well then please explain how I'm misunderstanding, because you're basically saying that dating doesn't really mean anything and you're allowed to experiment. agreed some couples are comfortable with flirting, but there's different levels and I'm sure some would probably draw a line at some point.

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Dating is experimental in its core definition. If it weren't an experiment, you'd just get engaged/married. Dating is an adjustment time in which you get to know a potential lifelong partner/mate. While some people are uncomfortable with non-exclusive dating, why fully devote yourself to someone you're not even sure you want to be with long term? Why ask that person to be fully devoted to you? You're closing off all your options (and theirs) on a "maybe".

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173, Explain what? I don't know how to make it any clearer. You don't own your partner and you need to be more secure in yourself. Take those on board and move on.

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67 - If the Mods were to give such power to us lowly mortals just think of the chaos. No. We are too young and too fragile for such buttons. We still have much to learn. Thus, we must resort to the more primitive tactics to express our distaste. *hurls faeces at MykalaMonae*

Why would you go? Move on and let that cheater live her pathetic life. Or you could fuck up the wedding a bit? Maybe push her into the wedding cake? >:)

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she may have met her new hubby and been friends, broke up with op and THEN starting dating. why always assume girls have fucked behind a guys back cus they met someone?

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Skoomaki that's a terrible thing to suggest and you should be ashamed. Why waste a perfectly good wedding cake?

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:O Oh, may the Lord strike me down with his holy sandal up my backside, I've never heard such blasphemy.

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Yes, the one with the pathetic life is the one not pushing their ex into a wedding cake because they're spiteful over something as petty as what happened in their relationship years ago...Keep telling yourself that.

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There's a button for that, although OP clearly didn't deserve it -- just because he went doesn't mean he was asking for heartache, it simply means he was being mature about the situation. More power to you, OP!

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#126 When I met my current boyfriend, he was dating another girl. He started developing feelings for me and felt extremely guilty for it while he was in a relationship. He ended up breaking up with the girl because he was unhappy and felt that it was unfair for the girl he was with. Not once did he touch me while he was in that relationship. He even waited a while before asking me out before he still felt like he wronged the girl. We've been dating for over 2 years now. Yes, in some cases, peo

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