Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my fiancé got drunk at our wedding reception and announced to his and my family what we do in bed. And it was pretty detailed. FML
Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML
Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend of 2 years on a family vacation to meet my family for the first time. We all got really drunk and he made out with my dad. This was day one and we don't fly back for another 16 days. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to taste some wine with some friends. I drank a little too much and referred to him as my brother to a random guy. Let’s just say I put a strain on my relationship. FML
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Top comments
CassieMarieee 7
Nothing brings people together like some good old fashioned conversation at a family dinner :)
QueenMichael 16
"She's okay with the missionary, and nothing else. Missionary, missionary, missionary. I'm all for a Christian lifestyle but this is ridiculous."
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Comments (108)
manjo71 2
now let everyone know what things u do in bed...
skinthesnakes 6
Well girlfriends dad for your information Your daughter loves it when i "liquor".
fallensnow143 6
XD
every1luvsboners 11
Pass me the gravy, and please SHUT THE **** UP.
sheethapins 13
Boners! Not at the table!
hellonyancat 6
That sounds mortifying. I think you just have to hope this is one of those things where everyone pretends it didn't happen.
VoteForTaco 8
So...What kind of things :D?
KiddNYC1O 22
Shove a roll in his mouth.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Or shove his roll in your mouth.
ohSNAPyall 27
Or your muffin in his mouth.
carleymuffins 0
That suckesss
KiddNYC1O 22
Lol at the "e".
perdix 31
The worst part is that they were ashamed it was so boring. Mom chimes in, "Why don't you toss the boy's salad? He looks like a nice fella. Ask your dad how much he likes my rim jobs."
Monkeybuttcream 4
(Dad chimes in) "And don't fuc& up the crumpkin or you're grounded!!!"
perdix 31
Well played! A blumpkin on crack. Congrats on sending me back to Urban Dictionary to research one of my all-time favorite words.
Snafuusmc 12
If my mom knew I don't think she would know me anymore.
thinkucandance 0
29 what??
newlove_fml 0
I think he meant if his mom knew how he goes about having sex, she'd be shocked and possibly horrified.
KiddNYC1O 22
Basically, disown him.
newlove_fml 0
That leaves one to wonder what he does in bed that would horrify his mother that much.