Intimacy: Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something...

By Arachnaphobic - 22/11/2009 08:35 - United States

Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 272

You deserved it 4 807

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Same thing different taste

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 324

You deserved it 7 652

By ThatsIncentive - 15/12/2016 01:59 - United States - Granite Bay

Today, I stooped to pick up an earring back off the ground. It was actually a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 960

You deserved it 1 139

By dickwebs - 22/11/2010 03:42 - Germany

Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 972

You deserved it 5 238

Bath time [GONE WRONG][CREEPYPASTA]

By noname - 27/12/2008 04:07 - France

Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 309

You deserved it 23 904

Nope.

By Just Set Me On Fire - 13/09/2017 23:15

Today, while at work, I felt what I thought was a ball of lint on the back of my neck. I reached back and grabbed it only to end up holding the biggest wolf spider I've ever seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 074

You deserved it 236

By buttercup92 - 31/05/2016 03:45 - United States - San Antonio

Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 954

You deserved it 1 164

By Anonymous - 13/11/2014 22:20 - United States

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 975

You deserved it 3 736

Freaked

By AussieGirl - 21/11/2009 11:40 - Australia

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 178

You deserved it 4 027

By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38

Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 639

You deserved it 771

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 704

You deserved it 2 519

elgordito_fml 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 16:30

lol, this is a awesome mental image

Laxloverr24 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 16:37

I hate spiders

Comments

123e3 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 16:21

4th time i've gotten first comment. that must have freaked the shit out of you

123e3 0

Monday 23 November 2009 23:26

screw you guys!!!!

austinryansmith 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 14:46

I agree

XDNurse 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 6:56

disgruntled? poor guy suffocated

phreshboi 1

Tuesday 4 May 2010 6:19

the worst thing is she is an arachniphobe or w.e you spell it like. look at her username

elgordito_fml 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 16:30

lol, this is a awesome mental image

iEnvade 2

Tuesday 21 June 2011 4:27

I agree, haha. @OP so something small, large and disgruntled fell down your top? Lol.

Laxloverr24 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 16:37

I hate spiders

elmo6 0

Tuesday 25 October 2011 22:25

ikr and the fact it was glaring makes it worse

iclark0 8

Thursday 31 October 2013 21:50

Doesn't everyone.

KingHumanity 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 16:58

Lucky spider!

qwertyuiopdead 0

Monday 28 June 2010 13:31

totally agree that spider is lucky as hell

crazyarsedfly 14

Sunday 22 November 2009 16:58

That's horrible = Spiders really creep me out...

fmlloverrct 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 18:02

omg i would've freaked out!

FederalAgent 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 18:18

At least he didn't bite

Vladash 14

Sunday 19 January 2014 20:35

Or did it..? -.0

loninessYman 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 18:34

your boobs are large enough for spider to find?

loninessYman 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 18:36

how's you boob ? big /small?

xxcrazybestiexx 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 18:57

I would have freaked out! I hate spiders. that really sucks.

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Mental health Health

The Top

Today, I caught my husband of 13 years looking at other women in Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 422

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 784

You deserved it 22 713

The Top

Today, and for the 6th time, I sent a potential suitor a full body picture. I usually get ghosted or called a plethora of fatshaming names. This time around the guy told me, “Wow. I’d kill myself if I had that body.” I’ve been single for 4 years and no matter how hard I try to find love, this happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 382

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 766

You deserved it 3 587

Today, I tried to talk to my soon-to-be-husband about how he needs to take a more active approach in his own life. It devolved to him screaming at me and putting words in my mouth. This has been going on for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 659

Today, my husband of one week lost his wedding ring while we were preparing for a dinner party. After a thorough search and no luck, I started to cry. He told me to quit being a drama queen because we had guests. He then got drunk with his friends, puked on the patio, and called me a bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 499

You deserved it 11 768

Today, my sister accused me of "leading on" her creepy best friend and said I should apologize to him for making him think he was going to get lucky. I haven't talked to the guy in over 5 years, except for one random encounter 2 days ago, where all I said was, "Hi, how have you been?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 838

You deserved it 1 400

Today, the coworker I have a crush on left halfway through the busiest shift of the week, and now I have to work it alone. I eventually found out that she left to go on a date with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 879

You deserved it 381

Same thing different taste

Bath time [GONE WRONG][CREEPYPASTA]

Nope.

Freaked

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