Intimacy: Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something...

By Arachnaphobic - 22/11/2009 08:35 - United States

Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 259

You deserved it 4 780

Intimacy

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Same thing different taste

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 305

You deserved it 7 638

By dickwebs - 22/11/2010 03:42 - Germany

Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 963

You deserved it 5 230

Bath time [GONE WRONG][CREEPYPASTA]

By noname - 27/12/2008 04:07 - France

Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 297

You deserved it 23 886

By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38

Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 624

You deserved it 762

By Anonymous - 13/11/2014 22:20 - United States

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 962

You deserved it 3 730

By ThatsIncentive - 15/12/2016 01:59 - United States - Granite Bay

Today, I stooped to pick up an earring back off the ground. It was actually a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 946

You deserved it 1 131

By JustLeaveThem - 25/01/2017 18:00

Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 722

You deserved it 287

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 279

You deserved it 14 251

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 646

You deserved it 8 331

By lacsmac2 - 01/11/2015 14:10 - Australia

Today, there was a huge spider on my ceiling, so I grabbed a shoe to deal with it. Just as I jumped up to smush it, my idiot brother flicked the light off. I missed the spider, but it didn't miss my face as the impact caused it to fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 604

You deserved it 2 669

elgordito_fml 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 16:30

lol, this is a awesome mental image

Laxloverr24 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 16:37

I hate spiders

Comments

123e3 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 16:21

4th time i've gotten first comment. that must have freaked the shit out of you

123e3 0

Monday 23 November 2009 23:26

screw you guys!!!!

austinryansmith 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 14:46

I agree

XDNurse 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 6:56

disgruntled? poor guy suffocated

phreshboi 1

Tuesday 4 May 2010 6:19

the worst thing is she is an arachniphobe or w.e you spell it like. look at her username

elgordito_fml 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 16:30

lol, this is a awesome mental image

iEnvade 2

Tuesday 21 June 2011 4:27

I agree, haha. @OP so something small, large and disgruntled fell down your top? Lol.

Laxloverr24 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 16:37

I hate spiders

elmo6 0

Tuesday 25 October 2011 22:25

ikr and the fact it was glaring makes it worse

iclark0 8

Thursday 31 October 2013 21:50

Doesn't everyone.

KingHumanity 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 16:58

Lucky spider!

qwertyuiopdead 0

Monday 28 June 2010 13:31

totally agree that spider is lucky as hell

crazyarsedfly 14

Sunday 22 November 2009 16:58

That's horrible = Spiders really creep me out...

fmlloverrct 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 18:02

omg i would've freaked out!

FederalAgent 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 18:18

At least he didn't bite

Vladash 14

Sunday 19 January 2014 20:35

Or did it..? -.0

loninessYman 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 18:34

your boobs are large enough for spider to find?

loninessYman 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 18:36

how's you boob ? big /small?

xxcrazybestiexx 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 18:57

I would have freaked out! I hate spiders. that really sucks.

Keywords

Animals Scary Work Geek Coffee Fire Awkward Love Cheating Scams Break-ups Sex Intimacy Health Relatable Alcohol Family AITA Wake up Miscellaneous Dad jokes Dentist Customers Annoying Food Kids Nepotism Ableism Vacation Transportation

The Top

Today, my boss in my police department told me to start enforcing the "No bikes on sidewalks" law, which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with Down's syndrome, who was so upset he cried and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 569

You deserved it 14 593

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 891

You deserved it 28 221

The Top

Today, I was loving on a dog at work. I noticed her fur was coarse and short and I'd never felt anything like it before. I broke out in hives all over my face. This happens whenever I'm around any cats, guinea pigs, or rabbits and now some dogs apparently. I'm in school to be a vet tech. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 670

You deserved it 482

Today, I replaced the battery in a closet’s electronic keypad door lock, and I accidentally locked myself inside. My family was traveling, so I had to call a neighbor. He got me out, but took pictures and posted them to social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 579

You deserved it 724

Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 633

You deserved it 1 716

Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 430

You deserved it 7 288

Today, I was helping my uncle clean his house. He's a bit of a hoarder, so I suggested donating some of his pots. We got into a fight and I left. He then called my mom to claim that I stole his pots. After being yelled at he realized that they were in his dishwasher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 875

You deserved it 167

Today, I met the old couple I would be house-sitting for. As I was leaving the lady stuck her fist out towards me. After a seconds awkward pause I thought she wanted to fist-bump so stuck mine out and bumped. Turned out she was handing me the key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 932

You deserved it 2 149

Same thing different taste

Bath time [GONE WRONG][CREEPYPASTA]

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