Work and Animals: Nope.

Nope.

By Just Set Me On Fire - 13/09/2017 23:15

Today, while at work, I felt what I thought was a ball of lint on the back of my neck. I reached back and grabbed it only to end up holding the biggest wolf spider I've ever seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 067

You deserved it 215

Work Animals

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By terrified - 09/08/2015 03:10 - United States - Forest City

Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 397

You deserved it 2 443

Buggin' out

By Anonymous - 21/09/2022 22:00 - Australia

Today, I reached into my wardrobe to get ready for the day, when something hairy tickled my hand. Imagine my shock seeing a fully-grown wolf spider staring me down from a coat hanger. I grabbed the can of bug spray and let him have it. Half the can later, I now need to re-wash my entire closet. Damn arachnophobia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 404

Been here long?

By Anonymous - 14/10/2022 14:00

Today, while I was working from home on my laptop and had my feet up on the coffee table, I felt something on my foot. I looked down to see a spider the size of a quarter on top of my bare foot. It started doing something so I froze, hoping it wouldn't bite me. Instead, it anchored the start of its web to my skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 142

By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38

Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 624

You deserved it 762

By scarred4life - 27/04/2011 14:05 - Canada

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 822

You deserved it 19 086

By buttercup92 - 31/05/2016 03:45 - United States - San Antonio

Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 940

You deserved it 1 159

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 279

You deserved it 14 251

By thatsnotacat - 21/11/2013 17:52 - Australia - West End

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 514

You deserved it 3 353

Tasty

By spiderlady - 21/09/2015 03:00 - United States

Today, I walked face first into a near-invisible spiderweb. There's nothing worse than the feeling of a spider web wrapped around your face. Except maybe the feeling of the spider that saw my screaming mouth as a good hiding spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 993

You deserved it 2 174

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 15:23 - United States - Tracy

Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 998

You deserved it 3 209

Allie614032 34

Wednesday 13 September 2017 23:22

As an arachnophobe, I appreciate the username you chose.

jediloader 12

Thursday 14 September 2017 0:34

Surprise, Motherfucka!!

Comments

Hippo_Holiday 19

Thursday 7 September 2017 16:46

I can taste the fear already. Hope you're alright.

Allie614032 34

Wednesday 13 September 2017 23:22

As an arachnophobe, I appreciate the username you chose.

mattiscg2 8

Wednesday 13 September 2017 23:23

couldn't have said it any better

jediloader 12

Thursday 14 September 2017 0:34

Surprise, Motherfucka!!

RockPrincess26 16

Thursday 14 September 2017 1:23

How did you assume it was "a big ball of lint?"

corky1992 33

Thursday 14 September 2017 3:26

That is what nightmares are made of.

davecross 11

Thursday 14 September 2017 3:54

Come on man we both know you wanted to get bit so you possibly turn into Spider-Man

tonyfan00 38

Thursday 14 September 2017 6:48

I'm gonna hazard a guess you also had to change your pants after you killed it...

Lobby_Bee 17

Thursday 14 September 2017 8:23

Spiders can sense fear, don't be afraid of them!

cdaspirit 15

Thursday 14 September 2017 8:43

Do you just casually get a ball of lint on the back of your neck every once in a while...?

RockPrincess26 16

Saturday 16 September 2017 3:09

That's what I'm wondering.

bartsj1988 7

Thursday 14 September 2017 10:45

Work do you work at where you would find balls or lint or giant spiders? Eck. FYL!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 246

You deserved it 5 580

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend has been lying to me about having a long-term illness requiring multiple trips to the doctor's. She isn't ill, she was cheating on me with the local GP. So I’ve literally driven her to the clinic and then sat in the waiting room while she screwed the doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 223

You deserved it 336

The Top

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 273

You deserved it 47 705

Today, I went to a parade. While I was there, I ran into my ex and his new girlfriend. Trying to prove I was over him, I tried to act like I was oblivious to them and having a great time. I turned around, only for a piece of candy to hit me square me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 397

You deserved it 5 457

Today, you might know that anxiety before an extremely important exam: sweating, shaking, heart palpitations, tension headache… That’s how I felt this morning when I got into my car… to pick up a free mattress I scored on the internet. Guess my adrenal glands were bored and decided to have a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 100

Today, my parents bought my 11-year-old brother a MacBook for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 121

You deserved it 2 403

Today, the guy I've fallen for and have been dating on and off for 2 years told me that he kept contacting me to re-connect because he missed hanging out with me, but didn't actually have any feelings for me. I already paid for a non-refundable weekend away as his Christmas present for us both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 810

You deserved it 658

Today, my three idiot nephews dug up a vintage bomb while "digging a hole to China." I told them not to touch it, and went in to call the police. As I did so, they took it to a pawn shop to sell as an antique. The pawn shop called the cops on them, and the cops are now on to me as they're crying, saying selling it was my idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 85