Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my brother had his hot friend over. I decided to make a move because he was staring at me and smiling all night, so I asked him which holiday was his favorite, Christmas or Easter while I batted my eyes and smiled. That's when he said, "You have lettuce in your teeth." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's brother. When he saw me, he whispered into my boyfriend's ear, "So, this is your bitch eh? Nice!" FML
Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML
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Top comments
Cairo_Sanchez 8
That's just TOO desperate...
theunwiseone 4
DA *****???? O.o
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Comments (374)
deransc 19
incestuous prostitution - and getting caught by your parents. Better than being single I guess.
Rashida 2
no just no
joanngal 4
So sorry op. My parents walked in when me and my step-brother were doing oral. I understand ur pain
maigan332 14
Whaaaaaaaaaaat?
Lasagnaa 24
That's ******* disgusting!!!!!!!!
MinecraftGeek 8
Insect? No, winsect!
maigan332 14
That's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard.
soldiat_fml 17
Why cross the street when you can cross the hall? That's not desperate at all!
LissaMccracken 23
No amount of money could ever get me to suck my brothers skin. You're both pretty gross
cherryln 8
O-O DAFUQ?
deemarie13 14
Use a vacuum.