Geek: Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet...

By supercharged - 05/04/2015 18:03 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet whatsoever. I turned on my phone to get notifications, hoping to see a message or two that I'd missed while gone. There was 1 notification, telling me how many FMLs were posted while I was away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 163

You deserved it 3 341

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By 88_OP - 25/07/2011 02:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my friends realized I'd been gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 458

You deserved it 3 956

By Anonymous - 15/04/2011 06:57 - United States

Today, I found my dead phone that had been missing for two weeks. I turned it on to see that I had only gotten 2 text messages during the two weeks. They were both from my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 797

You deserved it 6 624

By Happy Employee - 31/08/2014 21:51 - United States

Today, I returned from my first paid vacation in the past 2 years from a place with no cell, or internet. I've just found out that our department has been downsized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 302

You deserved it 2 711

By zuut - 18/01/2009 05:22 - Australia

Today, I logged on to Facebook for the first time in nine days. No new notifications. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 243

You deserved it 9 328

By Anonymous - 01/09/2013 23:55 - United States

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 168

You deserved it 2 821

Now what?

By svsksosnns - 11/05/2016 03:59 - United States - Olympia

Today, I went on the road for work for the first time in a very long time. I was enjoying lunch with coworkers when my phone got bombarded with calls and texts. Turns out my wife and my mother had gotten into a fight within two hours of me being away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 964

You deserved it 1 041

Wish you were here

By taylor124 - 22/08/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, I listened to a voicemail from my mom about how she misses me and can't wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 081

You deserved it 2 874

Welcome back

By Anonymous - 25/06/2023 14:00 - Australia

Today, I came back to work after 4 days off, as I'd worked a whole month with no weekends or days off, 8-12 hours per day. I came back to over 200 unread emails, 300 emails to send, and over 50 arrears collection calls to make by 2pm. It appears that my coworker did nothing the whole time I was off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 100

Poked

By Facebook - 13/06/2009 16:11 - United States

Today, I logged into Facebook for the first time in a month. I had only 3 new notifications, that were to tell me that the poker application I used on there "missed me" and wanted to give me 10,000 free chips. My poker app talks to me more than my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 632

You deserved it 6 634

By Happyforeverx - 25/10/2009 15:30 - United Arab Emirates

Today, I kept restarting my internet, wondering why I wasn't receiving any messages from my friends. Then I realized they were all ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 272

You deserved it 8 757

lex1459 38

Monday 6 April 2015 9:25

Really though, what else matters?

meatloaf11 23

Monday 6 April 2015 9:26

We can't all be popular

Comments

tj4234 35

Monday 6 April 2015 9:23

Well, how many were there?

ScarletCrimson 11

Monday 6 April 2015 9:54

OVER 9000!

lex1459 38

Monday 6 April 2015 9:25

Really though, what else matters?

expertsmilee 26

Monday 6 April 2015 9:25

A whole week without Internet? *shudders*

meatloaf11 23

Monday 6 April 2015 9:26

We can't all be popular

trellz17 19

Monday 6 April 2015 9:27

Those notifications are wrong anyway. (For me they are).

timaeusTestified 15

Monday 6 April 2015 12:57

Same.

False_Stupidity 41

Tuesday 7 April 2015 0:54

Same here

antonaijamese 7

Tuesday 7 April 2015 3:11

Yep .. All the time

Jdlove2 20

Wednesday 8 April 2015 1:03

Fix yo shit fml

MzZombicidal 36

Monday 6 April 2015 9:28

That's because the FML staff are all of our best friends.

buttcramp 21

Monday 6 April 2015 19:41

hahaha i was gonna say the same thing, #6. At least we are here for you OP! lol

file321 16

Monday 6 April 2015 9:29

Atleast you got a vacation

FMLMaximus 23

Monday 6 April 2015 9:31

yay! we still love you!

ichinikis 16

Monday 6 April 2015 9:32

I think we all know the feelig

Peacelove0404 26

Monday 6 April 2015 9:34

FML is always here to welcome you home

Keywords

Music Names Kids Customers Work Bodyshaming Coworkers Awkward Money Roommate Landlords Allergies Dogs AITA Parents Embarrassing Cute Neighbours Singing Health Ironic Accident Animals Cats Love Airport Cheating Sex Intimacy Relationship advice

The Top

Today, I was hanging out with a guy friend I hadn't seen for ages. The sexual tension was off the charts. We were making out and think were progressing, hands were roaming to both nether regions when I freaked out and blurted out, "But aren't we just friends?" We then sat and watched TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 866

You deserved it 12 814

Today, I love my husband to death and want sex all the time, meanwhile he claims he loves me too but constantly turns down sex and has even managed to negotiate a promise that I won’t ask for sex on special occasions like his birthday. What am I doing wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 886

You deserved it 340

The Top

Today, after getting home from a twelve-hour shift at work, I got into bed and passed out. My mother soon woke me up, screaming that she could tell I was "fake sleeping" and ignoring her lecture on how I need to stop being so "lazy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 437

You deserved it 1 907

Today, I was in the theatre watching a movie. I leaned my head back to relax. Suddenly, I hear this sneeze behind me and then I feel "rain" pouring down on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 969

You deserved it 2 823

Today, my bully made me cry once again. It's been going on for weeks. I don't know who to turn to; I can't say anything because I'd get into even more trouble. He even stole my Nintendo 3DS and won't give it back. My bully is my girlfriend's son. He's 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 455

You deserved it 54 892

Today, I updated my Facebook status to "It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood." My cousin, seeing the status, failed to pick up on the sarcastic humor. She called all my family members and tell them that I was pregnant. Including my husband in Iraq. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 875

You deserved it 14 015

Today, I went down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I almost suffocated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 464

You deserved it 10 296

Today, I was kicked out of my track team's locker room because the coach said there weren't enough lockers for everyone on the team. There are 74 lockers and only 52 girls on the team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 919

You deserved it 2 159

Same thing different taste

Now what?

Wish you were here

Welcome back

Poked

Top comments

Comments