Geek: Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet...

By supercharged - 05/04/2015 18:03 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet whatsoever. I turned on my phone to get notifications, hoping to see a message or two that I'd missed while gone. There was 1 notification, telling me how many FMLs were posted while I was away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 172

You deserved it 3 348

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Same thing different taste

By 88_OP - 25/07/2011 02:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my friends realized I'd been gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 468

You deserved it 3 963

By Anonymous - 15/04/2011 06:57 - United States

Today, I found my dead phone that had been missing for two weeks. I turned it on to see that I had only gotten 2 text messages during the two weeks. They were both from my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 803

You deserved it 6 627

By Happy Employee - 31/08/2014 21:51 - United States

Today, I returned from my first paid vacation in the past 2 years from a place with no cell, or internet. I've just found out that our department has been downsized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 310

You deserved it 2 713

By zuut - 18/01/2009 05:22 - Australia

Today, I logged on to Facebook for the first time in nine days. No new notifications. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 252

You deserved it 9 329

By Anonymous - 01/09/2013 23:55 - United States

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 181

You deserved it 2 821

Now what?

By svsksosnns - 11/05/2016 03:59 - United States - Olympia

Today, I went on the road for work for the first time in a very long time. I was enjoying lunch with coworkers when my phone got bombarded with calls and texts. Turns out my wife and my mother had gotten into a fight within two hours of me being away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 977

You deserved it 1 042

Wish you were here

By taylor124 - 22/08/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, I listened to a voicemail from my mom about how she misses me and can't wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 092

You deserved it 2 879

Welcome back

By Anonymous - 25/06/2023 14:00 - Australia

Today, I came back to work after 4 days off, as I'd worked a whole month with no weekends or days off, 8-12 hours per day. I came back to over 200 unread emails, 300 emails to send, and over 50 arrears collection calls to make by 2pm. It appears that my coworker did nothing the whole time I was off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 106

Poked

By Facebook - 13/06/2009 16:11 - United States

Today, I logged into Facebook for the first time in a month. I had only 3 new notifications, that were to tell me that the poker application I used on there "missed me" and wanted to give me 10,000 free chips. My poker app talks to me more than my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 644

You deserved it 6 638

Have a Kitkat

By Billy - 27/06/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my wife came back from a three-day moms' retreat, and was mad I didn't immediately want to spend time with her. She called me 68 times (yes, I counted) while she was gone, so it was really like she never left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 102

lex1459 38

Monday 6 April 2015 9:25

Really though, what else matters?

meatloaf11 23

Monday 6 April 2015 9:26

We can't all be popular

Comments

tj4234 35

Monday 6 April 2015 9:23

Well, how many were there?

ScarletCrimson 11

Monday 6 April 2015 9:54

OVER 9000!

lex1459 38

Monday 6 April 2015 9:25

Really though, what else matters?

expertsmilee 26

Monday 6 April 2015 9:25

A whole week without Internet? *shudders*

meatloaf11 23

Monday 6 April 2015 9:26

We can't all be popular

trellz17 19

Monday 6 April 2015 9:27

Those notifications are wrong anyway. (For me they are).

timaeusTestified 15

Monday 6 April 2015 12:57

Same.

False_Stupidity 41

Tuesday 7 April 2015 0:54

Same here

antonaijamese 7

Tuesday 7 April 2015 3:11

Yep .. All the time

Jdlove2 20

Wednesday 8 April 2015 1:03

Fix yo shit fml

MzZombicidal 36

Monday 6 April 2015 9:28

That's because the FML staff are all of our best friends.

buttcramp 21

Monday 6 April 2015 19:41

hahaha i was gonna say the same thing, #6. At least we are here for you OP! lol

file321 16

Monday 6 April 2015 9:29

Atleast you got a vacation

FMLMaximus 23

Monday 6 April 2015 9:31

yay! we still love you!

ichinikis 16

Monday 6 April 2015 9:32

I think we all know the feelig

Peacelove0404 26

Monday 6 April 2015 9:34

FML is always here to welcome you home

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggested a game where we put our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation died out, and fearful of having an awkward silence, I checked my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 422

You deserved it 55 330

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 885

You deserved it 61 102

The Top

Today, for the first time ever, I had a bout of vertigo in the middle of a mall. It went so very nicely with my crushing loneliness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 325

You deserved it 151

Today, I was washing a sink full of lettuce that I'd grown, which had been in the hot sun. My husband was preparing fish for dinner and took all the juices that had drained off the raw fish, reached over my shoulder, and dumped the juice on my lettuce. I asked if that was the fish juice. He said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 101

Today, I asked my boss to pay me for the only 2 sick days I had taken in 6 months, but he didn't want to. I reminded him that it's the law now in Germany, even for part-time work, so he said OK. Two hours later, he fired me. One week before my probationary period was up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 986

You deserved it 564

Today, I was texting this guy i've liked for a really long time, because of how nice and sentimental he is. We were sending each other things like "You make me smile" and "You're so damn cute" when finally he said "Let's just stop texting and hook up already." So much for sentimental. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 458

You deserved it 42 951

Today, I finally exchanged pictures with the woman I've been seeing online for some time now. She replied, saying "Thats not funny. Some people actually look like that." I sent my real picture, and thought I actually looked pretty good in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 312

You deserved it 7 054

Today, the company I work for lost 3-weeks worth of time sheets, so we have to fill them all out again. I don't remember what I did yesterday, let alone three weeks ago. That's why I religiously fill out the time sheets in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 993

You deserved it 1 584

Same thing different taste

Now what?

Wish you were here

Welcome back

Poked

Have a Kitkat

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