Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my brother had his hot friend over. I decided to make a move because he was staring at me and smiling all night, so I asked him which holiday was his favorite, Christmas or Easter while I batted my eyes and smiled. That's when he said, "You have lettuce in your teeth." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's brother. When he saw me, he whispered into my boyfriend's ear, "So, this is your bitch eh? Nice!" FML
Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML
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Top comments
Cairo_Sanchez 8
That's just TOO desperate...
theunwiseone 4
DA *****???? O.o
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Comments (374)
Vince_Masuka 12
Pretty sure that's somewhat prostitution and incest all in one
becccers 14
What the ****
marigoldcobain 21
Use a ******* vacuum cleaner, damn. Desperate much.
bleedingglitter 24
You should have just burned his neck with a curling iron.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
If he went to you to ask you to give him a hickey so he'll look like "less of a loser" in front of all of his friends, then he's a total loser.
dunicha 20
I'm ashamed to admit that I found this particular FML because it was linked as the inspiration for an incesty fanfic that I really enjoyed.
JohntheDeadlock 6
What has the world gone to?
fantasyworld 39
Use a vacuum.
SOILEDIT 51
This is an instance where I wish there was a way I could unread this FML.