Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, my friend was extremely constipated when he used my toilet. I'm now having to go buy a new toothbrush, because he used mine to dig out his shit. FML
Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to scare me by tilting the portable street toilets while I was taking a dump in one of them. One of my friends accidentally rocked it too hard and it fell on the floor. They wouldn't even let me sit in the car after because I had shit all over me. FML
Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Today, I really haven't been feeling well. Even thought I felt like complete shit, my friends dragged me out to a club. When I got there, I ran into the bathroom and started simultaneously shitting and puking. If I stopped one, the other got worse. I was stuck there for an hour and a half. FML
Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML
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Top comments
Dodge4x4Ram 46
tell him that shit wasn't funny
Mauskau 36
I stay on the toilet by choice because my phone is fun. However it's no fun when you're constantly ******** yourself. Think about it this way, free weight loss!
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Comments (102)
NicoSnowFlame 10
That pay back though.
buckstop1 37
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's a shitty situation you're in OP.
drayloon 50
please stop.
bluebluhblou 15
it had to be said. I'm afraid It's become a shit fml tradition.
False_Stupidity 42
It's also become traditional to thumb such comments down into oblivion.
jazzy_123 20
I just hope that your legs don't fall asleep to make matters much worse.
HairIsEverything 15
Why are people thumbing this down?? HAVE YOU NEVER EXPERIENCED THE HORROR???? Laughs aside, sorry OP. Doesn't seem very "friendly"
kirbs19 37
That stinks (no pun intended). Get him back with lax brownies!
eerrun 8
Shit happens?
lvg_fml 10
Really not funny and potentially dangerous. He has no idea what kind of physical problems it could have caused you
Cath_Astald 9
well you'll feel better when it's over. And now you have a lot of time to think and plot a perfect revenge. On the other hand cleansing here or there is actually kinda good for you. Just not with laxatives, that's a bad option. And this friend of yours is an asshole.
Derpinboppin 13
Well... Was it hilarious? I'll bet you'll look back and laugh when you're old.
holydevil420 10
Revenge: Step 1: Give him enough laxatives to destroy an elephant. Step 2: Cling wrap door to bathroom Step 3: Cling wrap toilet bowl
False_Stupidity 42
Oh so deliciously evil. I love the way you think. Note to self: Never piss off holydevil420.
Jinxsie 27
Just make sure it's at his house. :P
thesmeagol 22
I would also suggest shock therapy pads, just attach them to the seat and crank it up to max. Also take out the light bulb in bathroom so they cant see well.
sjhill 32
At least you have your phone. Just hope it's charged enough. Might be worth being creative with your revenge