Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, my friend was extremely constipated when he used my toilet. I'm now having to go buy a new toothbrush, because he used mine to dig out his shit. FML
Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to scare me by tilting the portable street toilets while I was taking a dump in one of them. One of my friends accidentally rocked it too hard and it fell on the floor. They wouldn't even let me sit in the car after because I had shit all over me. FML
Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Today, I really haven't been feeling well. Even thought I felt like complete shit, my friends dragged me out to a club. When I got there, I ran into the bathroom and started simultaneously shitting and puking. If I stopped one, the other got worse. I was stuck there for an hour and a half. FML
Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Dodge4x4Ram 46
tell him that shit wasn't funny
Mauskau 36
I stay on the toilet by choice because my phone is fun. However it's no fun when you're constantly ******** yourself. Think about it this way, free weight loss!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (102)
speedyshoe 1
All puns aside, that's a really nasty, dangerous thing to do. Slipping drugs of any kind into someone's food can trigger deadly reactions by accident. If someone did that to me I would beat the shit out of them. ( no pun intended )
Bazinga90 12
Plot your revenge, it's all you can really do at this point, the damage is done..... to your toilet most likely :P hehe
Regimental_Phan 18
some kids at my school did this, but to an asshole teacher. They used horse laxative instead. Needless to say the were expelled and that teacher was out for little over a month
patrickalamo 48
That's called assault.
Squygm 7
That's very dangerous, very painful and could potentially be a trip to the hospital if you don't know how much they gave you. I needed to take a stimulant laxative once and it was the worst experience of my life.
Zappaz 32
Haha I normally spend that long on the toilet anyway! Damn fml app >.>
rick159 12
Dude...that can be dangerous. You need to go to the ER if it continues or you start having CLEAR liquid. clear liquid will dehydrate you and can cause you to pass out.
tamesenicole 27
Think of it as a cleanse then plan the ultimate pay back
goodjoblol 25
Your "friend". "Friend". "FRIEND". Start planning some payback.
Livin_Like_Larry 29
On the bright side, you have time to plot your revenge!