Health: Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped...

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 04:29 - United States - Bentonville

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 987

You deserved it 2 887

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Same thing different taste

By smith - 28/01/2012 03:13 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 402

You deserved it 57 866

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 20:00

Today, my friend was extremely constipated when he used my toilet. I'm now having to go buy a new toothbrush, because he used mine to dig out his shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 201

You deserved it 157

Stuck

By Anonymous - 09/08/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 133

Pranked

By dontevenassk - 12/06/2009 04:44 - Canada

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to scare me by tilting the portable street toilets while I was taking a dump in one of them. One of my friends accidentally rocked it too hard and it fell on the floor. They wouldn't even let me sit in the car after because I had shit all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 140

You deserved it 3 777

By Anonymous - 16/04/2013 23:13 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 518

You deserved it 4 027

Great boyfriend, part 2

By thanks a lot - 04/05/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 896

You deserved it 198

By sadddddd - 11/09/2011 01:54 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 873

You deserved it 3 266

By fulloshit - 28/11/2010 02:17 - United States

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 059

You deserved it 4 592

By Anon - 11/09/2016 07:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I really haven't been feeling well. Even thought I felt like complete shit, my friends dragged me out to a club. When I got there, I ran into the bathroom and started simultaneously shitting and puking. If I stopped one, the other got worse. I was stuck there for an hour and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 191

You deserved it 1 697

Geyser

By awhmaaan - 27/02/2012 15:55 - United Kingdom

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 063

You deserved it 5 814

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Wednesday 21 January 2015 19:39

tell him that shit wasn't funny

Mauskau 35

Wednesday 21 January 2015 19:40

I stay on the toilet by choice because my phone is fun. However it's no fun when you're constantly ******** yourself. Think about it this way, free weight loss!

Comments

Cemetery87 10

Thursday 22 January 2015 13:04

holy shit, he could have killed you! no really. so many ways that can go wrong. you know that's considered poisoning right?

newyearstandup 13

Thursday 22 January 2015 13:31

That sucks man... Get him back!!! On a positive note... Love your description "horse ******** it's intestines" lol

carzaki27 12

Thursday 22 January 2015 14:33

Wow, such a great friend.

Zottenpedj 21

Thursday 22 January 2015 16:42

what a shitty situation.

mathosiantech 10

Thursday 22 January 2015 21:11

Shitty problem

blackonblight 32

Friday 23 January 2015 1:29

It may not have even been an excessive amount of laxatives. If it was a powerful one, then the actual recommended dose would be just as bad as OP is describing.

AscendV 19

Saturday 24 January 2015 14:25

Talk about a pain in the ass.. Budum tssss. No? Ok

FaduFai 22

Sunday 25 January 2015 19:04

Better point out that if those were made to draw out water into the intestine to soften stool, he could have flooded your intestines. He was probably just was unaware but very dangerous. FYL, OP

JamandToast4 5

Monday 26 January 2015 16:24

Ever tried eating 5 lbs of sugar free gummy bears? On the toilet for a day.

Rababco 29

Tuesday 24 May 2016 22:28

That doesn't sound like a very good friend. That could be dangerous because you get dehydrated and possibly even die. Try to keep hydrated by drinking lots of water and if it gets really bad go to the hospital. I think that might even be illegal.