Love: Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number... - FML

By ohtheirony - 22/09/2014 01:27

Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 739

You deserved it 2 789

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Same thing different taste

By Nykole McAllister - 15/09/2018 17:30 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was talking to a nice guy on a dating app and we exchanged numbers. Later, I got a call. It was his wife asking me to stop talking to her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 096

You deserved it 276

By Anonymous - 12/05/2014 00:14 - New Zealand - Napier

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 805

You deserved it 7 816

By scumbag - 05/11/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 127

You deserved it 6 424

Hit and miss

By Jane. R - 16/06/2021 20:00

Today, a guy was hitting on me when I was at a café. I told him I was married, but it didn't deter him, so I told him to go away. Later, my husband came home from work with his boss for dinner and sure enough, it was the same guy who was hitting on me. Suffice to say, it was one awkward dinner night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 61

A real mess

By huh? - 09/05/2022 00:01

Today, a guy I went out with twice, and slept with once, came knocking on my door, hysterically crying. Apparently his wife found out about “us” and kicked him out. He’s now asking where he can put his stuff, since he’s now homeless. I had no idea he was married, and she’s now looking to fight me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 240

You deserved it 236

By ahappypenguin - 26/09/2012 04:07

Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 024

You deserved it 2 034

By Anonymous - 07/12/2018 20:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, after a year and half of being single, I was asked out on a date. I was asked by a married man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 906

You deserved it 206

You bastard!

By Backseatseller - 15/09/2009 05:35 - New Zealand

Today, I was at work, and some people came in looking for a particular couch. After looking for over an hour on the wholesalers website my boss walks over, makes me take my lunch break and then calls over the couple and takes all the credit for the sale. We work on commission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 693

You deserved it 3 137

By cchandler - 23/09/2009 01:10 - United States

Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 324

You deserved it 8 037

By krissy - 20/03/2011 21:40 - United States

Today, I found out that the sleazy guy I met with a few days ago decided to move into my home town to "be closer" to me. I've already told him I'm not interested in him, but he still continues to ask me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 838

You deserved it 7 115

Next

Top comments

iloveanimeshow 6

Monday 22 September 2014 9:47

ask if his wife would like your number too

AnnaDeWitt 27

Monday 22 September 2014 9:55

At least it wasn't to inquire about the used underwear you're selling.

Comments

MrCareless 17

Monday 22 September 2014 11:23

It is a small world, isn't it :)

fsomelife 26

Monday 22 September 2014 12:31

Better with his wife than without. I thought this FML was going in an entirely different direction.

infinix_fml 5

Monday 22 September 2014 13:03

At least now you can sell the couch for a few extra bucks if you know what I mean.

Mr_Saikaly 35

Monday 22 September 2014 15:48

You should feel lucky for knowing the truth before going far with him

greencurtains74 11

Monday 22 September 2014 18:30

there was no couch for sale, that's what the man said the number was for when his wife found it

worldclassrager 39

Monday 22 September 2014 21:12

Maybe a coincidence have it listed online and it just happened to be you

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 22 September 2014 22:08

I guess the scumbag hubby really needs that couch now, 'cause hes going to be sleeping on it for the foreseeable future after his wife finds out whats he's been doing. I hope the couch is as hard as rocks.

thisguy22 33

Monday 22 September 2014 22:34

It is a small world after all!

skychu 18

Tuesday 23 September 2014 0:03

Yes, your "couch" hahaha ;P Nobody said they weren't a swinging couple spicing things up a little. Time for a follow-up?

dakatabg 31

Tuesday 23 September 2014 0:26

Small world

Keywords

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The Top

Today, it's been a week since my mother died. She had no life insurance and was over $20,000 in debt, plus her hospital/funeral bills. My father wants nothing to do with me as she was a one night stand and he never paid child support. I'm behind on rent and bills because I'm injured from work. Thanks for nothing, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 143

Today, a guy for whom I did a design job told me he would only be able to pay me in 3 weeks. I told him that it was OK, as long as I didn't have to follow him around to collect my money. "Don't worry, I know the feeling," he said, "I used to run an illegal business." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 513

You deserved it 2 171

The Top

Today, while delivering pizza I was yet again given $0.04 over the total bill and told condescendingly to "keep the change." This happens on every shift. My pay is reduced during deliveries, and I drive my own car, and use my own gas. For $0.04. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 057

You deserved it 794

Today, I came home to find that my dog had chewed up my brand new, expensive pair of shoes. I was so angry that I yelled at him and he cowered in fear. But then, as I looked at his sad little face, it dawned on me that I was the one in the wrong for getting so upset over something materialistic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 928

Today, at school, I have to do a 45 minute presentation with a girl who has panic attacks so bad that she cries, runs out of the room, and sometimes passes out. This presentation terrifies her and it's a major part of my final grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 631

You deserved it 2 522

Today, I snuck out to go see my girlfriend. When I got to her house, I left my bike out front and we went on a nice walk around the block. We passed a homeless-looking woman going the opposite way. About ten minutes later, the same woman passed us, on my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 883

You deserved it 10 969

Today, I was going to ask my coworker to cover for me for a few hours so I could go somewhere where they would pay me for my opinion. I had rescheduled this. Before I could ask, my coworker messaged asked if she could take the exact same time and date off to take her son to a school event. She beat me to it, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 354

Today, I was eating chicken noodle soup for my lunch. It was perfect until the last bite when it went down the wrong pipe. Choking, I coughed up what I'd already eaten. In front of my coworkers, and all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 287

You deserved it 784