Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how...

By Kaji - France

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

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44439

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Intimacy

White line fever

Emergency haircut

Keep your distance

By Vgameboi - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he was showing off pictures of me to co-workers. It wasn't until later that he said, "Don't worry, they were old pictures, from when you were hot." They were from four years ago. FML

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28312

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By ow my kidneys - Germany - Bad Oeynhausen

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

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30751

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By Anonymous - United States - Tampa

Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML

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12776

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By RyoKioKio

Today, just like every day for the past two weeks, my mother has told me just how much she doesn't want me to move out. I, once again, have had to remind her that she isn't the one I'm trying to get away from. I'm not a fan of being repeatedly smacked with a coffee mug by my 78-year-old grandma. FML

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2727

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By clumsy - United States - Stafford

Today, I slipped and fell on a piece of plastic. I thought nothing of it until I went to the doctor's and found out that I fractured and dislocated my kneecap. I'm now in a full leg brace and crutches. Prom is five days away. FML

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5015

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By fuckel4 - United States - El Dorado

Today, while updating my résumé, I noticed that in my list of achievements it said "Torturing middle school students". I meant "tutoring", but I guess this explains why I'm still unemployed a year after I started looking for a job. FML

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By LT - United States

Today, the car I was in got pulled over by the police for making an illegal turn. I was in a cab. And he kept the meter running. FML

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51628

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By Bareassed - United States

Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41528

You deserved it

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By Slivered - Canada

Today, my condo board refused to lift the new policy requiring pet owners to carry dogs in common areas because someone's dog is peeing in the hall. I can't physically carry my two dogs, so I'm now forced to wheel them through the building in a borrowed baby stroller. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32996

You deserved it

3920

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By bluskyz1979 - United States - Cypress

Today, my boyfriend and I were on a date and he starts complaining about how his back is hurting him. He complains the whole evening. Fast forward to later that night, we are in bed so I ask him if he was feeling OK. He says, "I guess so. I'm just confused about my feelings for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

12517

You deserved it

994

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Stretham

Today, my parents dropped by my new house, and my mother offered to tidy up for me while I was out. After they left, I noticed that her "tidying up" included throwing out all the pictures of my girlfriend and replacing them with pictures of herself. FML

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51393

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By mustachio101 - United States - Montgomery

Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML

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8591

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By insensitive prick - United States - Tinley Park

Today, I was at a "bring your family to work" event. I noticed my coworker brought his kids but not his wife, so I asked, "No wife today?" Everyone glared at me and he pointedly replied that she's married to someone else now. I had no idea. Now everyone thinks I'm an insensitive prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46119

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, a riot broke out while I was on shift at the community swimming pool. A family snuck in soap so they could use the pool as a giant bath tub. FML

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36416

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2758

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By ladyhead - United Kingdom

Today, I am a Frenchie who's been in England for two months. While wanting to say to my technician that my manager made me groan during our meeting, I said that he made me moan. Now he keeps looking at me with a grin on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22907

You deserved it

3989

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mother asked me if she could borrow $200. Being the lovely daughter I am, I gave her my bank card to withdraw it herself. She gambled it away and maxed my bank account out. I had $1500 saved. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45569

You deserved it

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By skigal24 - United States

Today, my only motivation to get out of bed was cupcakes in the refrigerator. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32571

You deserved it

16531

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By Shopper - United States

Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML

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21191

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By Stupid - United States - Post Falls

Today, after a few weeks of my friends pestering me to spend time with a mutual friend, I realized we had a lot in common. We both love shoes, peanut butter, and it appears that my boyfriend of three years is her boyfriend of four years. FML

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73962

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By orcatheseapanda - Thailand

Today, I was stretching on the balcony, when I heard my neighbor's daughter scream. She was playing in their kiddie pool and thought I was peeping on her. And now her parents think so too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21078

You deserved it

1395

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, a little girl came up to me and said "Hi, my name is Lindsey, lets be friends!". I thought she was cute so I played along and said "Okay! My name is Jen!" Her Reply: "Wait, nevermind, I don't want to be friends anymore. You smell funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks

51455

You deserved it

13254

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By Clumsy

Today, for the second time in a row, I slammed into the edge of the doorway while half asleep. My entire body hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1515

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319

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By heheheh - Canada

Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML

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9941

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By machismo - United States

Today, in preparation for proposing to my girlfriend, I borrowed one of her rings, so I could discreetly get her ring size. Not only have I now lost the ring, which turns out to be a keepsake of her dead grandmother, I still don't know her ring size. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17293

You deserved it

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By Vincent - United States - Overland Park

Today, I asked my mom why she had two tooth brushes: one manual and one electric. She said: "I only use the manual one for brushing my teeth." FML

I agree, your life sucks

52966

You deserved it

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By blakeintheoffice - United States

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34370

You deserved it

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By JohnBlack - United States

Today, I was told off for not holding the door open for a woman behind me at work. Yesterday I was informed that chivalry is offensive to women, as it implies that they are not equal to men. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32328

You deserved it

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By Something I said? - United States - Bronx

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29961

You deserved it

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By elle

Today, I found out that the peaceful rain I'd been listening to all night was really a broken water-main flooding my entire yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36206

You deserved it

4124

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By Nikki - United States

Today, I sent my boyfriend some nude pics of me. Later I get a text from my dad asking me when I had gotten a tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18372

You deserved it

53419

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By VelociTheRaptor

Today, I was leaving work after a storm. They're building some new offices outside, so I had to walk on an uneven path near the construction zone. I came to a big puddle and tried to jump across to what I thought was a piece of asphalt. It was mud. I slipped and fell backwards into the puddle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4117

You deserved it

749

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I learned companies can legally lie to fire an employee, and unless anything they say is on record, they are legally correct, no matter how unethical the company is. FML

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23952

You deserved it

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By Queen_of_Night - United States

Today, my boyfriend was reaching over to give me a hug for no reason. I said "Aww, You're sweet! I love you too!" He looked confused and said, "That's great, but I was reaching for the remote." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32269

You deserved it

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By Chris21 - United Kingdom - Bolton

Fast Cars

Today, a drunk driver totalled my new Audi. Who was the drunk driver? My dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1869

You deserved it

142

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By Anonymous - United States - Springfield

Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27256

You deserved it

2125

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By NotsexyEnough - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20331

You deserved it

6444

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By whorecrux - United States - Newark

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50757

You deserved it

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By ikickgingers - United States

Today, I found out my boss and some employees on my floor have bets placed on who can get the best picture of my ass. I found out when one of the pictures was accidentally sent to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34485

You deserved it

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By qhorin halflung

Today, on the bus, my blood sugar level got too low and I passed out. When I came to, the woman next to me was hitting me, saying she needed to get off and that she didn't have time for my "stupid fucking prank". FML

I agree, your life sucks

31328

You deserved it

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By mako

Today, I sent my mom a link to a news article via Facebook. Immediately after sending, however, I noticed I had forgotten to copy the news article's link, and what I had sent instead was the last thing I had copied and pasted: a porn link. FML

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Top comments

By SiLveRStaRLIGHT | 0

#77633 - Thursday 2 April 2009 20:57

I just laughed!
Maybe he'll call you back the next morning too!

By WhatThePhuc | 0

#640 - Sunday 8 February 2009 8:35

i lol'd

COMMENTS

By WhatThePhuc | 0

#640 - Sunday 8 February 2009 8:35

i lol'd

drzhottie148 | 0

#446442 - Saturday 1 August 2009 2:50

I LMAO soo much, FAVORITES

Fancypants753 | 0

#1014620 - Tuesday 1 June 2010 5:59

yphhuiiwssddxxzzdwqoqazl. qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm

thatonek1d | 0

#1029659 - Sunday 13 June 2010 20:13

y the fuck do u have her bros ##??!!

nintendomagic1 | 0

#1033803 - Thursday 17 June 2010 17:05

i did that once god only knows what would've happened if i had sent it to her older gay brother its funny when it doesnt happen to u FYL

By xRonnix | 0

#6153 - Tuesday 24 February 2009 2:41

Hahahahaah
all these comments are hilarious.

By HyperFlirt | 0

#20824 - Sunday 8 March 2009 4:59

LMAO!

By pinkfrenchrose | 5

#30833 - Saturday 14 March 2009 4:09

LOL @ #3

By Squantiago | 0

#37987 - Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:32

hahahaha

By SimpleIdiot | 0

#54919 - Tuesday 24 March 2009 9:46

thx for posting that
i love FML

By K2snow | 0

#55425 - Tuesday 24 March 2009 17:31

that's what you get for saying the words "make love" in serious context

By xMooMoox | 0

#73427 - Tuesday 31 March 2009 23:36

Lol at # 3
If her brothers older he could beat you up if hes younger he could be confused lol.
Either way its sucks to be you!

By SiLveRStaRLIGHT | 0

#77633 - Thursday 2 April 2009 20:57

I just laughed!
Maybe he'll call you back the next morning too!

By csullivan33 | 0

#150969 - Tuesday 28 April 2009 18:13

this realy sounds fake to me. how does someone manage to send the text message and a message this improtant to someone w/o looking at the name first.

siskob | 0

#1903124 - Wednesday 29 December 2011 10:53

exactly

Mcstud1y | 30

#6330922 - Wednesday 24 June 2015 20:53

Accidentally pressing the wrong spot