Love: Today, the guy I've been dating told me with a wink that before...

By Anonymous - 22/03/2014 22:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, the guy I've been dating told me with a wink that before he'll go on any more dates, he'd require me to take a series of "oral exams" to prove I'm right for him. I think he actually expected that to work. NEXT. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 567

You deserved it 6 142

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Same thing different taste

By peteto818 - 18/12/2014 17:59 - Bulgaria - Pernik

Today, my boyfriend jokingly said that if I didn't pass my exam, he wouldn't have sex with me for a month. I failed it, and now he thinks I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 962

You deserved it 5 402

By black and yellow - 21/01/2013 06:32 - United States - Salinas

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 793

You deserved it 45 717

By Shawty - 03/11/2009 03:41 - United States

Today, I went on a date, and within the first five minutes, he said, "Before we go any further and get anymore serious, you need to know a few things, I have kissed a guy drunk because it was a dare, and have a $400 silk rose Victoria's Secret blanket." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 326

You deserved it 5 840

Awkwaaaaard

By notwhatithought - 21/08/2015 19:43 - Germany - Erlangen

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 241

You deserved it 33 686

He's a keeper

By mariana - 08/02/2014 00:18 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 690

You deserved it 10 337

By Anonymous - 22/11/2012 09:39 - United States

Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 635

You deserved it 6 183

By ahhhboys - 27/11/2010 19:12 - Romania

Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 541

You deserved it 6 242

By Brittany - 18/06/2012 14:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 902

You deserved it 38 025

By _schaden_freude - 27/12/2015 17:31 - United Kingdom - Ashford

Today, my boyfriend's dad came onto me. I was shocked and awkwardly tried to exit the situation. My boyfriend then sprang out and started shouting at me. Apparently, it was a "test" to see if I would still be attracted to him in 30 years. I failed. What. The. Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 408

You deserved it 1 837

Never again

By Catsfordays - 20/08/2015 06:02 - United States - Yucaipa

Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 926

You deserved it 2 626

martialart1st18 19

Sunday 23 March 2014 1:27

That's lame he need to learn how to talk to women

Welshite 39

Sunday 23 March 2014 1:28

Guy: "I'm a gigantic dirtbag." OP: "True." Some oral exams aren't that difficult after all.

Comments

A_Matt 12

Sunday 23 March 2014 4:42

I don't mean to be rude but how does it suck for you must suck for the corny dude. Oviously you broke up with him if I'm interpreting this fight.

dawnimus 21

Sunday 23 March 2014 11:19

Maybe she really liked him and is disappointed that he turned out to be a jerk?

brandoneyez1 25

Sunday 23 March 2014 4:44

He watches to much ****.

frankmac26 5

Sunday 23 March 2014 4:54

lol If he needs to use that line he's a loser

shine999 12

Sunday 23 March 2014 6:14

I hope he didn't mean it the other way! Wink wink ;)

Credibleskills 28

Sunday 23 March 2014 6:18

That's a pretty weird way to get some head, but it might work though

eyepuppy 31

Sunday 23 March 2014 6:18

OP's post reminds me of that old, stupid MTV show, next.

pump281 4

Sunday 23 March 2014 6:18

I thought it was funny...

darkfireflame 15

Sunday 23 March 2014 8:30

Yeah in that "Wow I can't believe he said that." kind of way.

Sheh_fml 25

Sunday 23 March 2014 11:14

I thought so too, but how he said it (which we don't know) changes everything. If he tried to persuade her instead of laughing if of, I would have left too. If he just treated it as a bad joke and then continued being nice and non-sexual I probably wouldn't mind.