Love: Today, the guy I've been dating told me with a wink that before...

By Anonymous - 22/03/2014 22:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, the guy I've been dating told me with a wink that before he'll go on any more dates, he'd require me to take a series of "oral exams" to prove I'm right for him. I think he actually expected that to work. NEXT. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 567

You deserved it 6 142

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Same thing different taste

By peteto818 - 18/12/2014 17:59 - Bulgaria - Pernik

Today, my boyfriend jokingly said that if I didn't pass my exam, he wouldn't have sex with me for a month. I failed it, and now he thinks I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 962

You deserved it 5 402

By black and yellow - 21/01/2013 06:32 - United States - Salinas

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 793

You deserved it 45 717

By Shawty - 03/11/2009 03:41 - United States

Today, I went on a date, and within the first five minutes, he said, "Before we go any further and get anymore serious, you need to know a few things, I have kissed a guy drunk because it was a dare, and have a $400 silk rose Victoria's Secret blanket." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 326

You deserved it 5 840

Awkwaaaaard

By notwhatithought - 21/08/2015 19:43 - Germany - Erlangen

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 241

You deserved it 33 686

He's a keeper

By mariana - 08/02/2014 00:18 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 690

You deserved it 10 337

By Anonymous - 22/11/2012 09:39 - United States

Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 635

You deserved it 6 183

By ahhhboys - 27/11/2010 19:12 - Romania

Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 541

You deserved it 6 242

By Brittany - 18/06/2012 14:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 902

You deserved it 38 025

By _schaden_freude - 27/12/2015 17:31 - United Kingdom - Ashford

Today, my boyfriend's dad came onto me. I was shocked and awkwardly tried to exit the situation. My boyfriend then sprang out and started shouting at me. Apparently, it was a "test" to see if I would still be attracted to him in 30 years. I failed. What. The. Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 408

You deserved it 1 837

Never again

By Catsfordays - 20/08/2015 06:02 - United States - Yucaipa

Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 926

You deserved it 2 626

martialart1st18 19

Sunday 23 March 2014 1:27

That's lame he need to learn how to talk to women

Welshite 39

Sunday 23 March 2014 1:28

Guy: "I'm a gigantic dirtbag." OP: "True." Some oral exams aren't that difficult after all.

Comments

kittie77 10

Sunday 23 March 2014 2:38

Hahaha good choice OP, you're better than that! ;)

how_to_implode 17

Sunday 23 March 2014 2:39

Looks like he failed his.

classiceagle63 16

Sunday 23 March 2014 2:50

Atleast he didn't blow you away with the boring details of his job.

sk3p71k 13

Sunday 23 March 2014 2:57

Its dick blisters like this that give guys a bad rap. We're not all like that, honestly

CUrraNT 11

Sunday 23 March 2014 3:31

He sounds like an aspiring dentist!

Ugleh 7

Sunday 23 March 2014 3:48

Time to try that line out for myself

catsgo8 7

Sunday 23 March 2014 3:58

Maybe he wanted you to take an oral exam? You will never know, now.

bellydancer82 15

Sunday 23 March 2014 4:09

You mean EX... Oh, wait, no you're already ahead of me. Gold star for being an intelligent OP! :)

howdoilogin 9

Sunday 23 March 2014 4:15

Why not try his test? What's the worst that could happen, you just wait for another guy to have sex later?

kingdomgirl94 29

Sunday 23 March 2014 14:00

Cause if you're gonna have sexual interactions anyways, why not have them with every guy? Great logic there. There's this thing called self respect where you choose who to do what with. Even if OP gave bjs to every other guy she's ever been with, he has no right to EXPECT it from her. If someone treats you like a sex toy and talks to you like you're worthless, you have every right to kick their ass to the curb, regardless of sexual history or what you may do in the future.