Money, Kids, Porn and Blackmail: Nice try, kiddo - FML

Nice try, kiddo

By Anonymous - 12/07/2022 22:00

Spicy

Today, my 9 year-old son actually thought he could blackmail me for money and an Xbox with a very badly photoshopped picture of me in bed with Hermione from the Harry Potter films. My wife thinks this is hilarious, but I’m worried if he’s doing this at 9, what will he be doing at 18? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 498

You deserved it 244

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

The next generation

By Rosemary’s Vlogger - 07/01/2022 20:01

Today, my son announced he wants to be a YouTuber, and wants to make videos of himself doing violent things to pregnant women. He’s 9. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 241

You deserved it 367

By Anonymous - 05/10/2012 23:02 - United States - Queen Creek

Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 502

You deserved it 33 576

By Anonymous - 18/07/2019 02:00

Spicy

Today, my son walked in on me masturbating. Now, whenever I don't do whatever he wants, he blackmails me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 2 160

Terrible troll

By ShitStirringSon - 15/08/2013 02:02 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was told that my son has Twitter and Facebook accounts that he uses to try to bully people online, some of which are celebrities. He does it really badly, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 119

You deserved it 7 278

By Anonymous - 11/01/2012 20:08 - United Arab Emirates

Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 364

You deserved it 7 502

They're indoctrinating our children… with pranks!

By Anonymous - 06/08/2011 23:37 - United States

Today, my eight year-old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mindfucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 481

You deserved it 3 936

Dirty mind

By Anonymous - 27/10/2012 19:28 - Germany - Nuremberg

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 575

You deserved it 38 628

By cahsecuel - 14/08/2014 20:44 - France - Grisolles

Spicy

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 662

You deserved it 7 140

Prepare to be dumped

By Anonymous - 23/04/2021 13:03 - Panama - Cuba

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend blackmailed me for nudes. When I told his mother, he convinced her it was a joke, and both were laughing at me for being "paranoid". He now wants me to apologise for "ruining his day". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 328

You deserved it 212

By Anonymous - 23/09/2015 15:48 - United States - Bedminster

Today, I got an angry call from my 7-year-old son's school. It turned out that while doing a "what I want to be when I'm older" assignment, he wrote that he wants to be an internet troll so he can make people mad and make them kill themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 427

You deserved it 4 332

Next

Top comments

spinningrecords 14

Tuesday 12 July 2022 23:44

I would hook him up with a cardboard box with an X, then fill it up with fake money

JasonThorn 20

Wednesday 13 July 2022 4:10

By the look of it, he'll be doing TIME...

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 12 July 2022 23:34

Deepfake videos.

spinningrecords 14

Tuesday 12 July 2022 23:44

I would hook him up with a cardboard box with an X, then fill it up with fake money

Anderling 32

Wednesday 13 July 2022 0:17

This is extremely worrying. Maybe therapy might help? Or at least work out wtf is wrong

JasonThorn 20

Wednesday 13 July 2022 4:10

By the look of it, he'll be doing TIME...

SirEnigM0nk 22

Wednesday 13 July 2022 18:41

Or the cover of TIME Magazine.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 16 July 2022 20:11

That's a major red flag. The kid's got the skillset to become a master manipulator... or politician.

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Today, my boyfriend got me the awning I wanted for my terrace. Only he ordered it in the wrong material and the wrong size, figuring that anything similar was close enough. Now he's annoyed that he spent so much money and that I want to send it back. FML

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