By StefanKa - 09/09/2013 09:30 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, I learned that my parrots now can shit horizontally when I found the wall next to the cage covered in feces. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 596
You deserved it 3 892

StefanKa tells us more.

OP here, I know that and I let them out all the time but I just didnt expect to find shit between the wall and the cage, where none of them can enter.

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My best friend has an african grey parrot. I have seen that bird purposely press its butt between the cage wires and shit on me as I walked past it. It probably does this same maneuver to purposely crap on your wall. They are feathered demons. It also likes to take the coasters off the coffee table and fling them at me. That bird hates me. I done nothing to harm the bird ever. But I later learned I looked somewhat like its previous owner who supposedly neglected her.

First time I read this I thought you said parents instead of parrots. That really changed the FML.

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Maybe someone rattled their cages?

shit against the wall

I read parrots as parents. Then I saw cage and re-read but the first time was a bit more disturbing. Parrots will find a way for anything.

Today I found out that parrots taste like chicken

lol, it took me two times to realize it said parrots too ×_× I couldn't for the life of me figure out why someone's parents shit on the wall or why they were in a cage ×_×

Am I the only one who would rather punch myself than own a bird, ever? Those things are annoying as shit

I did own birds and it was terrible. They were noisy, messy and their bites hurt like hell.

I picture a pet shop employee offering you a bird and without saying anything you just punch yourself and casually walk to the next pet, how about that nice kitten? Personally I am not a fan of birds but punching myself seems a bit on the dramatic side.

I bet! I'm probably going to get thumbs downed into oblivion here, but I'm just stating my opinion. And now reading the "they're annoying as shit" it appears as if I was trying to make a terrible pun, which I wasn't...just the unfortunate circumstance of this FML :(

Depends, how hard would I have to punch? I never owned a bird, but if I were to get one it would be important to me that it had a big enough cage to fly around in. I feel regular bird cages are rather small.. I'm sure they are sweet pets though, but they deserve a big cage with lots of space :)

Opinions are like assholes 11, everyone had one. And sometimes it comes out horizontally...

Not all birds are annoying. My chickens are sweet little dinosaurs and I own a dove which are quiet, never bite, and super chill.

I have four parakeets, and they are quiet when I am home and never bite. Large parrots though? I can understand your annoyance for them. They can outlive humans, theyre very loud and require much maintenance.

Well birds aren't supposed to live in their cage. You're supposed to have enough time for them to have them out a good percentage of the day. And if you don't have the time, don't get a bird.

Birds are WORK. And as such, they are certainly are not for everyone. Most people do not have the mental or fiscal requirements that it takes to properly care for one (especially the larger ones). Honestly, I'm glad you would rather you punch yourself in the face than own a bird. No bird should have an owner that hates them.

*financial. Not fiscal. Damn you autocorrect!

I took the door off my bird's cage years ago. When I am home he is out, when I leave I tell him "I'm going outside" and he flys back to his cage and stays there until I return. BTW, he loves chicken especially the breast meat.

that's a talented bird right there

Not really talent. Many birds instinctively know to poop like that in order to keep its cage cleaner. If it were in the wild, it would shoot its poop out like that to keep their nest poop free.

Am I the only one thinking of Scary Movie 2?

lmao I was thinking the same thing .It totally reminds me of scary movie 2

That takes talent

Parrots aren't meant to be caged up in a house. Get used to the mess.

Hey, that's speciesist!

OP here, I know that and I let them out all the time but I just didnt expect to find shit between the wall and the cage, where none of them can enter.

My best friend has an african grey parrot. I have seen that bird purposely press its butt between the cage wires and shit on me as I walked past it. It probably does this same maneuver to purposely crap on your wall. They are feathered demons. It also likes to take the coasters off the coffee table and fling them at me. That bird hates me. I done nothing to harm the bird ever. But I later learned I looked somewhat like its previous owner who supposedly neglected her.

All birds are obviously Jackson Pollock fans. I often find myself cleaning the walls near my birds' cages, which accumulate with dried food and excrement quite easily. It's just a bird thing. It helps if you have a darker paint on the walls with a semi-gloss finish(makes it harder to see and easier to clean).

I used to have birds & I can say from experience that my birds would do this same thing when their cages got messy. Particularly, the wire tray separating them from their news paper. So, my recommendation would be to keep their cages as clean as possible, clean off any droppings from that wire tray if you have it. It should help. :)

I own two conures and one time they almost shat on my mom while she was talking to them. It was really funny. It just completely flys sideways out of the cage!

I guess some animals don't like to poop where they sleep/live. My dogs only poop along the outer fence line of our back yard, lol. They seriously back their butts up to the privacy fence & poop onto it everytime.

Probably it's revenge for being kept in a cage

Don't walk by or they might fire their cannons at you

They're great at that. Mine can bull's eye my cat with crap.

Now that's some funny shit! No pun intended!

First time I read this I thought you said parents instead of parrots. That really changed the FML.

So did I! I was very concerned for a few seconds.

Birds are great at aiming their feces. Hopefully they won't try to aim at you OP

I did have a chuckle at your username OP :)