Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN!" in front of the whole restaurant. FML
Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML
Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML
Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML
Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML
Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
Today, I finally confessed to the guy I've liked for two years. I told him that I've really liked him for a long time, and that I knew he had a girlfriend and I didn't expect anything from him, I just wanted him to know. His response? "Are you done? 'Cause I need to go to the bathroom." FML
Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML
Today, I finally mustered the courage to tell my crush how I feel. He's a straight-A student and very nice in general. After I finished pouring my heart out, he stared at me for a bit and then said: "Nice rack." FML
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Top comments
Apolloyn 0
thats a good thing
WtFiMdAdDy 0
nice pooper? really. how old is he? hahaha....
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Comments (75)
Sexysexton 0
Well personaly I have a nice ass so when I get complements like that I love it!
gozar_fml 1
He probably walked away saying, "I finally got the nerve to talk to that cute girl and all I could come up with was "nice pooper! FML!"
kaynorr 9
who called u a fag
heyred 11
Did you say thank you?
cmac86 24
it's like that valentines day bear that says "shit bitch you is fine". gotta love how Ebonics is taking over the modern world. we would all do well to take some English classes.
Dismissal 4
Wow, just... pooper? You should have said "Nice peeper." Then you could sign eachothers yearbooks as "Pooper" and "Peeper" oh my gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd. Not an FML.
sabatical 0
haha nice
beanoz 0
pooper = ass. he meant you have a nice ass so you should be happy
sexyblonde78 0
OMG 57 you are so annoying! they said something trying to be funny and I'm 100 percent positive no one asked for a dictionary definition!
da94 1
just say he is retarded for saying that
charlie8u3478 0
real playa. is he five or retarted?