Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because, "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML
Today, at the supermarket, a guy started yelling at me for staring at his "woman." She frankly looked like someone had carved Mick Jagger's face into a turd. When I told him I have better things to do than ogle random women, he started harassing me for being "a queer." FML
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
Today, I was drinking from a water fountain. I bent over to sip the water and felt a HUGE slap on my ass. Completely confused, I turn around to see some guy with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he thought I was his girlfriend. Then I saw his girlfriend standing behind him, giving me the evil eye. FML
Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML
Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML
Today, I walked past a group of men on my way to work. Instead of catcalling me, they made pig and whale noises at me, and yelled fat shaming comments. By the time I'd reached my building, I had been reduced to tears. FML
Today, I saw an old man who needed help crossing the street. I went over to him and helped him across the street. When he thanked me, I said, "No problem, sir." They responded by hitting me in the happy sacks and screaming that they were a woman. FML
Today, I was tricked into seeming like a sexist pig. A girl at the gym asked me to show her how to use a machine, so I did, then she started screaming at me to leave her alone. An hour later, I was all over the gym social media in a phone video heavily edited to make me look like a creepy gym bro. FML
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Top comments
qwtf 14
Perverts like him should be locked up. What a disgrace to the male gender. Sorry OP
Firedragoncody 7
You should have bitch slapped him.
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Comments (174)
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Oh God though seriously. I just can't wrap my head around what a jerk this guy is. I don't know which part bugs me the most. The fact that he's one of those guys who thinks it's okay to just grope women in the street (aka a possible sex offender), or the fact that, upon realizing his mistake, accused OP of 'tricking' him. Like yeah, random strangers in the street are all out to get him. OP TOTALLY wanted to trick you into harassing him, you poor little victimized shit. I hope that the next person who 'tricks' that guy is a cop or something, male or female. If this occasion doesn't teach him to keep his hands to himself, that certainly will. Sorry, rant over. Just had to get that off my chest because this kind of thing really bugs me.
annalily5 28
He's not a possible sex offender, he IS a sex offender. Groping random women is sexual harassment.
can_you_not_ 10
You must be a really pretty guy!
upallnight11 19
What a disgusting pervert. Men like that don't have any respect for women at all. How would he feel if it was his sister or mother that was being groped by a random stranger on the street. It really amazes me that he actually thought it was okay to slap someones ass without consent.
rocker_chick23 27
I wouldn't be surprised if the pervert slaps a woman's ass and gets pepper sprayed by her.
SpamPam 18
Sadly men shouldn't have to imagine the possibility of a woman having some kind of relationship to another man to convince him to not harass her. The fact that she is a living human being with feelings should be enough to invoke enough empathy to not assault her
weveallbeenthere 30
too funny, but at least you know you have a great ass.
pugnamedwhiskey 21
K
sunnymanutd 8
I feel sorry for you. But can't people see difference between man and woman from behind by DRESS and HAIR or walking style..!!??? Maybe you were trying to look like woman.. Learn from this and change it dude.. If not he is just a big pervert.
Queenie2014 11
Wait so you're telling OP to change so nobody will grope him? OP can dress or look however he wants. Nobody as a right to touch anybody without their consent.
rocker_chick23 27
Let me guess #65, you also blame rape victims on what she was wearing, am I right?
QueenSaru 28
So if the man had slapped his ass knowing he was a guy, it would have been okay? How about no. No one should touch anyone else without their permission, regardless of how they're dressed or what they look like. It's not on the OP to ~change how they look~ to avoid being sexually harassed.
ScarlieC 25
'Try to not look like a woman' is basically the same as teaching women to not get raped. And when teached to not get raped, you basically get teached to have the rapist shift his attention from you to another woman. You're just saying 'Don't pick me, pick someone else!' How's that going to solve things?! 'Try to not look like a woman' is insulting, like for just being a woman provokes this kind of behaviour. You make it sound like it is normal for women to be harrassed and the worst part is, we expect it, we prepare for it every time we go out. We expect this kind of behaviour from every male stranger because we don't know if the guy is a normal human being or not. Of course not all men are harrassers, rapists or abusers. Of course not, but we don't know if they are because they don't have it tattoo'd on their forehead. We expect the worst to prepare ourselves and to protect ourselves. If the guy is a normal person, yaay! we met someone new, if he's not, we're not taken by surprise and can react quicker. 'Try to not look like a woman', yeah, I've had my hair cut short because I donated my hair to charity. I got rapethreaths because of my short hair, 'Oh you're a girl alright, how about I show you what happens between boys and girls?', 'Geez you look like a lesbian, I'll show you that you're not!'. 'Try to not look like a woman' isn't going to help. Sadly there are always going to be guys that feel entitled to any woman's body, attention or affection.
Stevieray20 13
DO U LISTEN TO STEEL PANTHER? Lmao
rocker_chick23 27
What does that have to do with this FML? Nothing
nattlecakes 19
That's what he gets for being a perv!
FML_Elle 17
Who else imagined a real pig at first?
91hayek 31
Yeah, I imagined the pigs from Animal Farm, but I was like "I'm a normal person. I can't post that." You're weird and honest. I like that; don't change.
FML_Elle 17
Thanks man! Haha you made my day :)
kelos 7
By the way you started that I thought you were a girl too!
calucalay 13
yeah makes sense because not a lot if guys use the term pig.