Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML
Today, my nephew spent a long while enthusiastically telling me how amazing his new 3D TV system is. I felt his pain as his face turned white when he remembered that I'm blind in one eye since birth. FML
Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. I said aloud, "Dang, that actor is hot." My grandma pointed out he was a spitting image of my cousin. I realized she was right, and that I may as well be attracted to my own cousin. FML
Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML
Today, I was babysitting my nephew and we decided to color together. He drew a picture of someone who looked dead, almost zombie-like, while everyone else looked pretty normal. When I asked who it was, he said in a serious, scary voice, "It's you." FML
Today, my 4-year-old niece told me she likes it when I'm around because I'm "squishy and smell like fried chicken all the time." FML
Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML
Today, I was picking up my nephew from school. I waved when I saw him coming, shouted, “Hey dude!” The kid stared at me, confused. That’s when I realized it wasn’t my nephew, just a child who looked vaguely similar but who was now terrified. His actual mom gave me a look like she was deciding whether to call security. FML
Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML
Today, I was babysitting four kids. I turned the TV on for them, and set the youngest on my lap. She started giggling and pointing at every single pimple I have, exclaiming "Boo-boo!" This went on for half an hour. FML
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Top comments
astro_plastic 0
Gotta love a child's brutal honesty. A friend of my little cousin once told me I look like the Corpse Bride. A little boy once said I looked like 'Mrs. Smith' from Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Some kids are assholes, some are awesome, it evens out.
philematology 0
lol win
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Comments (115)
erjaguam 0
lol... LOL!
tomahawkinyouall 0
according to family guy, God gave Rosie the "leftover" or "mismatched" parts.
twat_waffle15 0
I'll prbly look like her in 'bout thirty-five/forty years...damn slow metabolism. haha, i just blamed being fat on something...God, I hate ppl tht do tht! "Just get off ur lazy ass and do sumtin!" ha, tht's wat i tell myself now to get on teh treadmill and it seems to be working;D actually, if u listen to ur iPod, walking at a fast pace for like 40-50 minutes is frickin' easy! don't know why i didn't start earlier...
SuiGeneris01 2
atleast youre not Rosie, she would be writing people compare to me in a negative way,
jonny2x4 0
Oh well at least you have two things is common with Rosie- both of you are pretty butch-looking and you both like women.
KillaKingPerrie 4
HA, your 3 year old nephew toasted you.
subcultured 0
no. she kinda deserves that one.
benen 0
well atleast if funny?
lookastar 0
prolly wanted u to look
Sonalis 9
hehe, kids are funny ^_^ this one made me lol sorry. but you can't possibly take much of what a three year old says anyway. lol. Also, did it ever occur to you, OP, that perhaps he may have perceived a DIFFERENT uncle on the screen, if any?