Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML
Today, my nephew spent a long while enthusiastically telling me how amazing his new 3D TV system is. I felt his pain as his face turned white when he remembered that I'm blind in one eye since birth. FML
Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. I said aloud, "Dang, that actor is hot." My grandma pointed out he was a spitting image of my cousin. I realized she was right, and that I may as well be attracted to my own cousin. FML
Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML
Today, I was babysitting my nephew and we decided to color together. He drew a picture of someone who looked dead, almost zombie-like, while everyone else looked pretty normal. When I asked who it was, he said in a serious, scary voice, "It's you." FML
Today, my 4-year-old niece told me she likes it when I'm around because I'm "squishy and smell like fried chicken all the time." FML
Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML
Today, I was picking up my nephew from school. I waved when I saw him coming, shouted, “Hey dude!” The kid stared at me, confused. That’s when I realized it wasn’t my nephew, just a child who looked vaguely similar but who was now terrified. His actual mom gave me a look like she was deciding whether to call security. FML
Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML
Today, I was babysitting four kids. I turned the TV on for them, and set the youngest on my lap. She started giggling and pointing at every single pimple I have, exclaiming "Boo-boo!" This went on for half an hour. FML
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Top comments
astro_plastic 0
Gotta love a child's brutal honesty. A friend of my little cousin once told me I look like the Corpse Bride. A little boy once said I looked like 'Mrs. Smith' from Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Some kids are assholes, some are awesome, it evens out.
philematology 0
lol win
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Comments (115)
Rickyretardo 0
maybe the kid was scared of her like me and called u to smash the shit out of her
jdogg0119 4
FML is gay as shit
pottie69 0
I'm sure that's fake
xDConversexD 0
sorry to tell you this but Rosie o donnol is your mom. se had you when she's was 15
Lov3r 0
well she's only 3 years old. I wonder if they actually think Dora is talking to them and they reply to her.... lol
jonaslover12345 0
sucks!!!
perdix 31
Maybe it's because you both like eating pussy. I don't want to know how your nephew knows that.
perdix 31
Maybe he knows you both like carpet munching. Please don't let us know how your nephew knows that.
jordiecakes 0
awh, bummerrrr for you :(
seeimdee 0
don't jump to conclusions...maybe he was wanting you to look. the main concern is why your son was watching Rosie odonnel (dgaf bout her last name spelled wrong)
purplemnm 9
is your name, by any chance, Bruce Jenner?