Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML
Today, my nephew spent a long while enthusiastically telling me how amazing his new 3D TV system is. I felt his pain as his face turned white when he remembered that I'm blind in one eye since birth. FML
Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. I said aloud, "Dang, that actor is hot." My grandma pointed out he was a spitting image of my cousin. I realized she was right, and that I may as well be attracted to my own cousin. FML
Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML
Today, I was babysitting my nephew and we decided to color together. He drew a picture of someone who looked dead, almost zombie-like, while everyone else looked pretty normal. When I asked who it was, he said in a serious, scary voice, "It's you." FML
Today, my 4-year-old niece told me she likes it when I'm around because I'm "squishy and smell like fried chicken all the time." FML
Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML
Today, I was picking up my nephew from school. I waved when I saw him coming, shouted, “Hey dude!” The kid stared at me, confused. That’s when I realized it wasn’t my nephew, just a child who looked vaguely similar but who was now terrified. His actual mom gave me a look like she was deciding whether to call security. FML
Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML
Today, I was babysitting four kids. I turned the TV on for them, and set the youngest on my lap. She started giggling and pointing at every single pimple I have, exclaiming "Boo-boo!" This went on for half an hour. FML
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Top comments
astro_plastic 0
Gotta love a child's brutal honesty. A friend of my little cousin once told me I look like the Corpse Bride. A little boy once said I looked like 'Mrs. Smith' from Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Some kids are assholes, some are awesome, it evens out.
philematology 0
lol win
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Comments (115)
jnorm727 15
Are you Q?
Catniptree 9
Still great.
krisseyDJ 20
Is your name Brian Quinn?
Dr_Jackal 16
Q?