Miscellaneous: Today, my teacher "busted" me for writing down answers on my...

By really - 13/11/2014 18:17 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my teacher "busted" me for writing down answers on my arm for a test. The so called "answers" was just a duck my little nephew had drawn on my hand the night before. She's actually trying to get me suspended over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 681

You deserved it 2 566

Miscellaneous

This Charming Man

Bad employee

Witches Brew

By lolilovemyboyfriend - 19/10/2011 14:37 - United States

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 842

You deserved it 18 500

By Anonymous - 11/10/2013 15:40 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's the fifth day in a row my workmate has worn the exact same clothing. We share the desk. I'm absolutely positive he hasn't hit the shower since last weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 036

You deserved it 3 154

By fanaticalfuckspawn - 25/08/2014 20:14 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 100

You deserved it 3 155

By Anonymous - 16/06/2017 06:00 - United States - North Olmsted

Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 720

You deserved it 373

By brodinn - 11/04/2014 13:48 - United States - Florence

Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 257

You deserved it 5 850

By Sock_Muppet - 06/04/2019 20:00

Today, I looked at my sister's Instagram story, and saw her, my brother, and my father all on a family road trip to Reno without me. I wasn't told anything about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 346

You deserved it 171

By Anonymous - 16/10/2015 17:12 - United States - Eagle River

Today, four days after moving into my new house, I woke up to a guy yelling "Fuck you, Claire" followed by a brick smashing through my living room window. Now I know why Claire was so eager to finalize the sale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 249

You deserved it 1 557

No spoilers

By Anonymous - 22/12/2021 08:01

Today, I've been perfectly dodging all spoilers for Spider-Man: No Way Home. Deleted social media, muted some people I don't trust, everything. Then someone came in my university WhatsApp group (which I need to check for exam notes) leaked it an hour before I was gonna go watch it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 203

By Anonymous - 02/03/2014 05:03 - United States

Today, I set up a small social gathering for a few friends. One of them didn't have a ride, so the others, who'd already shown up, went to go give him a ride. After no sign of them for a whole hour, I called to see what was wrong. They went out to eat and completely forgot about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 119

You deserved it 4 347

By Anonymous - 13/01/2016 23:03 - United States - Alexandria

Today, my fiancé's mother gave me a beautiful cross necklace to wear for my wedding. I'm Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 116

You deserved it 2 487

By I am not amused! - 03/11/2013 22:53 - United Kingdom - Andover

Today, I had the pleasure of driving in central London for the first time, to recover my drunk husband from his own brilliance, puking on the feet of Winston Churchill's statue in Parliament Square. At 4 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 466

You deserved it 3 622

By Username - 09/06/2011 18:30 - United States

Today, I spent fifteen minutes looking for my phone in my car before I realized I was using it as a flashlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 819

You deserved it 61 004

By caramelkarma - 15/04/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I woke up on my mom's couch with a wicked hangover. I made a mad dash for the toilet but felt the wave coming after two steps. I grabbed a bag of trash next to the front door and showed it no mercy. After I'd recovered and cleaned up, Mom asked if I'd seen the bag with her tax materials. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 238

You deserved it 65 564

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 05:28 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 949

You deserved it 2 770

By bdayboy - 11/01/2011 09:17 - United States

Today, some of my classmates brought cupcakes to celebrate my birthday. I took the leftovers with me after class, and when my mom picked me up from school, she asked, "What are the cupcakes for?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 302

You deserved it 2 824

By Anonymous - 10/05/2013 16:48 - Norway

Today, I decided to end things with my boyfriend, thinking it would be fine since things have never been at all serious between us. He cried for hours before having his grandmother text me to say how heartless I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 118

You deserved it 8 522

By saywhat - 26/01/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I met the girl who dumped me because the distance between us was too great. We're in the same city again. She's now dating a Marine in Iraq. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 047

You deserved it 2 797

Bad timing

By amya - 17/10/2009 08:39 - Canada

Today, I had a phone interview for a job I've had my eye on forever. I was dumped a few hours before the interview, but was okay until I was put on hold with music playing. Me and my boyfriend's song came on and I started bawling. I could hardly talk when they took me off hold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 299

You deserved it 9 905

By don't cry over spilled milk - 23/11/2016 14:33 - United States - Elmendorf Afb

Today, after struggling with breastfeeding and trying to build up my milk supply, I was finally able to pump a full 6 oz! I celebrated by immediately spilling it all over my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 162

You deserved it 1 410

By saltinawound - 05/03/2009 06:38 - United States

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend of almost a year because he was no longer sexually attracted to me because I'm "overweight," even though I only weigh 130 pounds. Afterward I went to my friend's house and sat in an old wooden chair. It broke into pieces as soon as I sat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 992

You deserved it 9 797

By waymoreiwanted - 15/02/2014 03:21 - United States - Ashland

Today, I opened up a snapchat from my best friend. I received a full and detailed view of her and her boyfriend having sex. All I wanted to know was how her Valentine's Day dinner went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 851

You deserved it 9 589

By mags - 16/02/2009 15:05 - United States

Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said "See you in a decade." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 361

You deserved it 6 791

By Dana - 29/01/2010 18:59 - United States

Today, it was very windy and snowy and the neighborhoods garbage cans were blowing everywhere. I had already brought mine in and I saw my neighbor's being blown away. Thinking I'd be nice, I went out to pick it up. Just before I could however, the wind smashed it into me and I fell on the ice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 042

You deserved it 3 189

Denial

By Anonymous - 25/11/2021 23:00

Today, and every time I try to talk to my mother about being a lesbian, she just says in the most condescending way, "Oh no you're not sweetie, it’s just a phase." The "phase" has lasted 17 years, including marrying my wife and adopting twin sons, but sure, it’s “just a phase.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 193

You deserved it 183

By Anonymous - 02/08/2009 06:10 - United States

Today, I hurt my arm in a scooter accident, when my dad came to pick me up instead of taking me to the hospital like a normal dad, he took me directly home where he spent a hour shaving and taking a shower so he would "look nice" when he went to the hospital while I clutched my arm in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 730

You deserved it 4 124

By Kelsie - 12/12/2009 15:41 - United States

Today, my mother thought it would be okay to take my camera and erase all of my pictures that included my graduation, party, and my sisters wedding. Her excuse? "We need more room for Katie's birthday." Katie is our pet cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 540

You deserved it 4 056

By Lisa - 28/10/2018 22:00

Today, I was turned down for a job because they thought I lied about having a six-month internship. Why? The secretary I told off for stealing my lunch every single day told them she hadn't heard of me, and the new company won't listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 519

You deserved it 284

By Suicidal - 20/12/2009 22:40 - Australia

Today, I had a mental breakdown after going through severe depression for several years. I told my boyfriend that everybody thinks I'm useless, to which he replied, "No you're not. You cook me good dinners." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 022

You deserved it 7 688

Deadly cocktail

By blame the maid - 13/09/2020 17:02 - United States

Today, my very sheltered girlfriend decided to surprise me by cleaning our apartment. Although she grew up with housekeepers and maids, I thought it was common knowledge that you don’t try cleaning the bathroom with both bleach and ammonia. We still can’t go back inside our place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 411

You deserved it 127

By Anonymous - 28/01/2010 08:09 - United States

Today, I found out a friend of mine likes me. It wasn't by a cute gesture like a sweet little note, or a beautiful heartfelt confession like you might expect. He sprang at my boyfriend and choked him (while I strained to pull him off). Right during the middle of our 60+ student populated class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 512

You deserved it 3 044

By Mak1 - 05/12/2008 08:12 - Belgium

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 576

You deserved it 4 649

By ab1e - 12/05/2010 20:07 - United States

Today, while at work, a woman left her credit card at my register. I tried to return it before she left. Seeing her getting into her car, I jogged after her and yelled, "Wait." She ran over my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 777

You deserved it 3 050

By Anonymous - 21/12/2012 14:22 - United States - Cottonwood

Today, I started my first day of work at our local humane society. I asked where the break room was, so my coworker directed me to a small room in the back of the building. The only place I get to take my lunch break is the same room where they euthanize, freeze and cremate the animals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 876

You deserved it 7 892

By anonymous - 21/01/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, I was bet 100 dollars that I couldn't break a piece off a brick with my head. I couldn't, and I have 2 gashes in my head now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 895

You deserved it 72 964

By Madzison - 06/02/2012 10:08 - Australia

Today, I had to have a serious talk with my boyfriend about his Miley Cyrus obsession. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 946

You deserved it 4 675

By Anonymous - 07/08/2012 20:13 - Canada - Pierrefonds

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 562

You deserved it 3 515

Thanks little buddy

By crushed - 10/03/2021 14:00

Today, I was in the middle of my workout when my cat meowed so loudly, it startled me into dropping a 50-pound weight onto my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 247

By Chubs - 29/03/2009 12:32 - Norway

Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 261

You deserved it 11 614

Ouch!

By Anonymous - 27/03/2012 05:52 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I was leaning over a fence in a pasture to get a closer look at something. Nobody warned my nuts that it was an electric fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 575

You deserved it 10 995

It's a marathon, not a sprint

By Anonymous - 27/05/2020 02:00

Today, I found out that the last girl from my graduating high school class is engaged to her boyfriend. I'm now the only guy from high school who's still single and I'm not even 30 yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 261

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Top comments

isabellasimone 18

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Friday 14 November 2014 0:59

I'm sorry, OP. I hate when teachers pick on students unnecessarily. Just go to the principal and defend yourself. Good luck!

MrSassypants 32

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Friday 14 November 2014 1:02

Turns out all the answers were "duck".

isabellasimone 18

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Friday 14 November 2014 0:59

I'm sorry, OP. I hate when teachers pick on students unnecessarily. Just go to the principal and defend yourself. Good luck!

ELoni_fml 25

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Friday 14 November 2014 1:15

And here I am thinking all Canadians are the good guys

SaharaZinc 14

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Friday 14 November 2014 5:29

But, did he not clean himself since the previous night..?

hope27 15

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Friday 14 November 2014 6:30

#44 it was only the night before, it's not like op's being unclean. Plus the drawing would probably take longer than overnight to rub off.

rizzkiyoshi 19

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Friday 14 November 2014 7:28

@44 have you never drawn on yourself? it takes days to come off my skin no matter how much I scrub

randomname98 22

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Friday 14 November 2014 17:19

Some teachers are straight up satan spawn. I was being bullied by the same group of kids, and every time I told the teacher she would say "tell me if it happens again" and drop it there. I went to the principal after about a month and got the same response. Finally one day I lost it and punched the kid back, just as the teacher walked in. I was suspended for 3 days for "assaulting an innocent victim" and told that it doesn't count as self defense unless you are surrounded by people trying to hurt you.

DLS930 21

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Friday 14 November 2014 1:02

you should take a picture to prove the point just in case

MrSassypants 32

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Friday 14 November 2014 1:02

Turns out all the answers were "duck".

devildog562 33

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Friday 14 November 2014 1:05

Dang it. I said cow on question four. Damn you old McDonald.

Mauskau 35

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Friday 14 November 2014 1:07

Every 4th question, the answer was duck. The other three were Llama.

cryssycakesx3 22

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Friday 14 November 2014 1:34

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

HairIsEverything 15

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Friday 14 November 2014 23:48

#18 either you don't understand the basics of "Duck Duck Goose", or you made a very bad joke.

devildog562 33

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Friday 14 November 2014 1:03

Some teachers are ridiculous. Like the one from a while ago kicking all of her students out and bitching about them. Tough job and its a shame we don't always get the best person for the job.

SarahSehhati 40

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Friday 14 November 2014 1:05

Did you show her it was juat a duck?

silvercamaro 22

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Friday 14 November 2014 3:10

OP probably has one of those teachers that always assumes they're right and didn't even give a chance for defense.

maharb01 17

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Friday 14 November 2014 1:06

well when the question was "what are you going to draw today?" Billy Madison style, you were cheating! was it blue?

pooldude 24

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Friday 14 November 2014 1:07

Man, is this a universal thing or what? everywhere there is that one teacher, who likes to create mountain out of molehill and pick on students for no apparent reason. Btw, i hope you don't get suspension OP.