By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Caught short

Today, I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap. I pulled into my driveway and made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes. I ended up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree. FML
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  pinkster2014  |  25

Yeah, but no one likes to take a dump in public restrooms. Even in these circumstances xD
Plus, he was "dying" to take a dump so maybe he couldn't wait any further to use the bathroom by going to a store.

  dgameseeker  |  12

51 was just an old rhyme I heard a long time ago wasn't literal...just hard to convey it through text that it wasn't meant to really use your hand. My apologies!

By  LostInTheZone11  |  28

There's nothing like getting back to nature.

  MisterEx  |  28

I personally thought he went into the bathroom really fast and the next thing he knows he was on the toilet doing his business 2 inches away from a chocked plumber.

By  Just_A_Tree  |  20

Dude... I hated it as much as, if not, more than you did. You couldn't have just used the bush?

Speeding in this case could make things much worse! Trying to get home and defile your tree, when you're pulled over for speeding... That's a whole new level of FML.