Caught short

By Anonymous - 13/11/2014 18:01 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap. I pulled into my driveway and made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes. I ended up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 913
You deserved it 3 388
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hard_candy 25
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you could have just stopped at a store or fast food joint.

111 9
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supernerd95 17
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i don't know man. ... that was some serious shit

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hard_candy 25
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you could have just stopped at a store or fast food joint.

111 9
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pinkster2014 25
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Yeah, but no one likes to take a dump in public restrooms. Even in these circumstances xD Plus, he was "dying" to take a dump so maybe he couldn't wait any further to use the bathroom by going to a store.

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hard_candy 25
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I don't either, but if I were "bursting" to go, I'd have gone for it. I bet OP wished he did too since it beats taking a dump caveman style.

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randompizzaguy 17
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I agree with #11 I once had to use the woman's restroom in a gas station during a road trip. The looks I got as I walked out haunt me to this day.

14 4
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Just_A_Tree 20
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#14: Are you saying I'm worse than a public restroom?

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ShadowlessSpear 21

#22 Yes.

4 2
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Kush_BabY 7
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He right , no one wants to use a nasty toilet :/

3 3
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incoherentrmblr 21

Well, at least you've fertilized the lawn. Scott from Scott's Lawn care is happy that you fed your lawn with your own type of Miracle-Gro. Feed your lawn. Feed it!...

16 3
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ahippienamedrae 10

#11, you gotta do what you gotta do.

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brenton490 19
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That moment when the creepy neighbor asks if he can have it for his lawn....

2 3
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james_logan 19
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or you could have gone to your neighbour's

0 1
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supernerd95 17
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i don't know man. ... that was some serious shit

50 4
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MeanBeagle 22
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we know which tree is gonna be the biggest this year

22 4
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Nexpecto 28
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in the end we're all just animals. everyone knows whose yard it is now!

9 2
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Kiki242 19
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Oh my goodness. This was one of the few FMLs that legitimately made me lol. Did you use leaves to wipe???

35 4
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devildog562 33
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Socks were sacrificed and had a proper funeral under the backyard tree.

20 1
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dgameseeker 12
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When you go to the bathroom and have no toilet paper, be a man and use your hand!

0 18
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Nexpecto 28
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#27 Best place to plant a rose bush!

6 1
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Khaleesi_26 30
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#33 I don't think anyone would be that desperate to use their own hand......

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dgameseeker 12
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51 was just an old rhyme I heard a long time ago wasn't literal...just hard to convey it through text that it wasn't meant to really use your hand. My apologies!

6 2
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Khaleesi_26 30
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Oh, my bad to then #54, i probably should have picked that up! :P

3 4
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LostInTheZone11 29

There's nothing like getting back to nature.

31 1
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randompizzaguy 17
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It's better than your pants.

30 2
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pitapizzaparty 18
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You should have called ur wife to check first before u left somewhere that probably had a bathroom

1 23
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StarDust5921 16
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Maybe it hit him on his way home. Shit happens.

22 1
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kaylaaa01 11
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I honestly thought you were gonna say you crapped your pants before making it to the bathroom.

29 2
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MisterEx 28
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I personally thought he went into the bathroom really fast and the next thing he knows he was on the toilet doing his business 2 inches away from a chocked plumber.

2 3
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StarDust5921 16
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What a shitty situation!

6 28
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Sansa_fml 38
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Maybe if everyone stops making these jokes, we can enjoy them again somewhere 50 years from now.

6 1
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kerstileann 26
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thats a shitty sit-SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEARN HOW TO MAKE A REAL PUN BITCH

9 5
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PresidentNorth 16

Damn dude chill out. shits not the serious.

5 4
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kerstileann 26
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uhh i wasnt being serious......

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Gaernem 17

Ahh the smell of fresh air and fresh sing, nothing like it. Well at least that tree will get some good human fertilization.

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Gaernem 17

fresh dung* Auto correct.. My shittiest enemy.

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Just_A_Tree 20
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Dude... I hated it as much as, if not, more than you did. You couldn't have just used the bush? Speeding in this case could make things much worse! Trying to get home and defile your tree, when you're pulled over for speeding... That's a whole new level of FML.

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