Miscellaneous: Today, my husband managed to set fire to half of our garden setting...

By how - 25/07/2013 04:10 - United States - Crozier

Today, my husband managed to set fire to half of our garden setting up mosquito repellents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 143

You deserved it 3 379

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Same thing different taste

By ThatGirl - 19/07/2012 15:30 - United States

Today, an idiot decided it would be fun to light up a firecracker in front of our house. It ended with firetrucks, a black yard, and yet somehow the weeds survived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 549

You deserved it 2 200

By Al - 10/03/2010 02:07 - United States

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 994

You deserved it 2 919

Risky

By Anonymous - 20/08/2021 10:01

Today, I poured gas around my house for pest control. I can still smell it from inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 1 846

Fixed

By Anonymous - 11/04/2020 05:00

Today, my husband, who repairs appliances for a living, repaired our dryer. One lot of wet clothes later, it caught fire and ruined the laundry room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 680

You deserved it 123

By torny>horny - 10/04/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 585

You deserved it 4 982

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 02:25 - United States - Binghamton

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 939

You deserved it 3 432

Leave spiders alone

By Anonymous - 01/01/2021 01:01 - United States - Atoka

Today, I took a stick lighter and used it to set a large spider on fire to kill it, as stepping on it could possibly release its babies if it were a momma. I ignited more than the spider, and had to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 1 910

By stew - 23/06/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, It took me more than 4 hours to set up the back yard for my daughters baby shower. It only took my husband one push of a button to turn on the sprinklers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 065

You deserved it 3 864

Stop! Hammertime!

By Anonymous - 17/07/2022 00:00

Today, my husband picked up and threw a hammer which smashed a hole in the plastic side of the conservatory, that daylight and rain can now get through, all because he “thought” he saw a mouse, which turned out to be one of my fluffy slippers half hidden under a chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 141

This is why we can't have nice things.

By Anonymous - 29/09/2017 20:00

Today, my husband brought home a machete. In the process of showing me a trick he learned, he managed to slice a nice big hole in our brand new very expensive sectional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 196

You deserved it 444

hnaggar 15

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:12

Well, fire will keep em away too

bikramkohli 11

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:14

perhaps you need stupidity repellents, instead?

Comments

hnaggar 15

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:12

Well, fire will keep em away too

Jjimen1654 9

Thursday 25 July 2013 16:15

Yep thats a win, sort of.

thatisaWIN 5

Thursday 25 July 2013 22:33

Yes it is :)

bikramkohli 11

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:14

perhaps you need stupidity repellents, instead?

awkward611 26

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:16

oh wow poor flowers

Mynameislinh 24

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:19

Gee... I would suggest not letting him barbecue, either.

_Neshaa 5

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:20

Well, at least the mosquitoes are gone...

DyslexicPanda 12

Friday 26 July 2013 0:59

You don't know that...

QQmore_fml 18

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:20

Well for he get rid of the Mosquito's? Think of the positives ^_^

QQmore_fml 18

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:24

Shit!.. Well did he get rid of****

QQmore_fml 18

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:36

Shit!... Well did he get rid***

SpaceRaptor 8

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:25

You will need fire to shoo away the giant mutant mosquito's when the apocalypse comes , be happy that your husband is prepared.

SolarFlare 20

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:28

I hope your House is undamaged

brewmasterg 34

Thursday 25 July 2013 14:19

I too hope for the safety of Hugh Laurie.

azzy94 7

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:32

You know what they say, fire keeps the bugs away

PandaSmile 24

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:43

Kill them with fire!

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The Top

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 488

You deserved it 183 652

Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 706

You deserved it 5 785

The Top

Today, after over a week of trying to get a hold of my doctor for a much-needed medication refill, he finally called back. Too bad my phone got unplugged and died in the middle of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 476

You deserved it 240

Today, my sister-in-law announced that she’s pregnant. With my kid. And the doctor thinks it might be twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 2 198

Today, I was snorkeling when a stingray suddenly appeared when I thought I was just looking at sand. It startled me, so my heel made contact with a sea urchin so that then startled me, and my other foot hit another one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 419

You deserved it 2 297

Today, I tried to impress my wife by doing a bunch of push-ups, despite having a bad shoulder. She told me my form sucks and that I'm an idiot. Now I can barely move my arm and I'm going to have to get it fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 652

You deserved it 34 908

Today, it was very windy and snowy and the neighborhood's garbage cans were blowing everywhere. I had already brought mine in and I saw my neighbor's being blown away. Thinking I'd be nice, I went out to pick it up. Just before I could however, the wind smashed it into me and I fell on the ice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 106

You deserved it 3 207

Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 077

You deserved it 263

Same thing different taste

Risky

Fixed

Leave spiders alone

Stop! Hammertime!

This is why we can't have nice things.

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