Today, my sister called me a moron after I told her that no, healthy foods do not give you "negative calories". She's 21 and goes around telling everyone that she's an expert nutritionist. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 19 year-old brother called me a moron and told me to go read a book, after I corrected him when he said girls don't have colons. FML
Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML
Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML
Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that no, just because the word, "salad" is in the name, it doesn't mean that macaroni or potato salad are automatically healthy for you. She still doesn't believe me. She's 19. FML
Today, while home from college for the weekend, my sister started whining about how I keep using "big fancy college words" and making her feel bad. My sister is 27 and teaches elementary school. The word I used was "ludicrous." FML
Today, I was on the phone with my little sister as she explained that all these guys like her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell my sister that at least I was a cuter child, because my mom laughed and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy you fat kid diapers." FML
Today, my sister was concerned that her daughter (my niece) was sick, and hesitant to take her to the ER. I asked if she'd eaten something she shouldn't have, and she replied, "No, especially since we feed her the most healthy food we can." This was fine until I flipped out when she said, "We even give her raw milk so that she'll be strong." FML
Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML
Today, the unhealthiest person I know, weighing in at around 350 pounds told me she was now a vegan. I then told her the Cheese-Itz, as well as the leather boots she was wearing wasn't vegan. She said I was wrong. I'm a nutritionist. FML
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Top comments
alex_the_tiger 14
Well celery use more calories chewing it than calories gained by consuming it
fakedsincerity 32
I'm surprised so many people still believe a lot of the diet/health "tips" that so called experts spout to get people to listen to them. Doing a little research before trying any sort of diet goes on a long way into staying healthy and safe.
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Comments (71)
lexos 16
What are negative calories? Never heard of such a thing in my life
Shade1982 21
Supposedly there are some foods and drinks that require more energy for your body to process than what the food/drink itself provide, therefor you would lose calories just by eating/drinking that. Problem is, there is absolutely no scientific evidence for this yet and it seems to be the next new age mumbo-jumbo. They have only been able to measure it in some drinks, but the effect was so minimal, it was completely not worth it.
Shade1982 21
One example of a negative calorie drink is cold water. Since water has 0 calories and your body has to heat it up first, that would be a negative calorie drink. The effect is just so minimal you would need to live on cold water for a year to lose a pound of fat.
lilithfury 23
There are a few negative calorie foods out there. It's where you burn more calories in process of digestion, than the food itself contains. However, the food loses its negative caloric content depending on its method of preparation. Also, the list of negative calorie foods isn't really that extensive. Something being "healthy" isn't enough to effect the way your body processes the calories. It sounds like she might have found some partial information somewhere, and just kinda ran with it, rather than continue on to research more. Sadly this is all too common these days, and false information continues to spread like wildfire by those who are self proclaimed experts.
latenerd 11
Yes there are some "negative calorie" foods - meaning it takes more calories to digest them than they actually contain. But it really doesn't matter, because it's only a few extra calories burned - not enough to make a difference in your weight. What makes most veggies healthy is that they have fiber and vitamins and fewer calories, not negative calories.
EnJey0 19
The best diet is eat less, more healthy food, and exercise more. Don't believe that shit "experts" tell you
DaniealThePope 18
It could just be a concept, when I was on a diet my dietician gave me a concept like that. For example when you are calories counting certain foods can be negative calories.
realg0d 8
actually you can eat foods that actually take more callories to dygest than is in the item so technically it is negative calories.
manuwish 9
Ded I miss something?
ArcheryArtist 20
I'm so happy I'm an only child
Killnot123 6
She's stupid
IThriveWithYourPain 14
"Negative calories do not exist" Using more energy to chew and digest food than you gain from consuming that food is a thing