Today, my sister and I were eating at Wendy's. On the way out, I thought it would be funny to kick the door open and yell, "This is Sparta!" I lost my balance and fell flat on my butt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML
Today, I went to Walmart with my Dad, and he decided to kick me in the butt while I was walking. When I went to kick him back, I hit my own leg out from beneath myself and landed on my face. The most embarrassing thing was that the people who saw all started clapping. FML
Today, I went out with my best friend and her hot brother. Upon our exit out of the restaurant I walked right into the glass door and rebounded back off it. The whole restaurant was silent as I shamefully walked out only to trip on the curb outside. FML
Today, I came home to find my little sister had decided to play hopscotch under our carport. Feeling a small childish urge, I decided to hop on one leg to the front door. I tripped and fell, slicing my knee open. FML
Today, I waved at a cute guy when I was leaving Wendy's. I then ran into a curb, spilled my Frosty, and hit my head on the steering wheel. I turned around and both the cute guy and his dad were in hysterics. FML
Today, while browsing through Walmart, I slipped on a piece of clothing and fell backwards into an obese lady’s butt. When I landed, she farted. FML
Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML
Today, I laughed at my friend for tripping on the sidewalk. While imitating him to show “how stupid" he looked, I stepped on the exact same sidewalk, twisted my ankle, and fell over in front of a bunch of strangers. FML
Today, my brother ran in, handed me a spatula, and told me to stand still. Barely a second later, our sister came tearing in the house with a fresh, raised welt on her ass cheek in the shape of said spatula, saw me holding said spatula, and kicked my ass up and down the house until I escaped. FML
Today, my sister threw my water bottle as a joke. When I stepped off the bleachers, my right foot lost its footing and my other foot followed. Now I have two sprained ankles at the same time. FML
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Top comments
dreamering 16
I think # 3 was behind the door.
Jorcar 8
Way to be random.
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Comments (247)
Fireworxxx 2
Looks like karma.
eftup 9
dumb **** loser!
qasimahsan93 4
No, this is Patrick. -_-
KaskStunter 4
In Sparta they would've thrown you from a cliff when you were really young and this would never happen.
Bobby64 29
@#191: I agree. I put in the phrase "I thought it would be funny" into the search box here. Out of the 20 results (including this FML), 17 had YDI as the majority vote. I think that says a lot. :/
chessyragoo 0
I see all the fat went straight to your ass. haha
TechFire 25
This is NOT Sparta! You are lost!
OfficeNinja 5
uhhh...it was NOT going to be funny. please don't embarrass yourself by attempting what you call "humor" in the future. falling on your ass however - that was funny!!
pink_raindrops 26
I am willing to bet serious money that this was posted by an idiot from MLIA.com. Hundreds of people post how they randomly yell that out in class or wherever they are and how awesome it was because some loser beside them give them a high 5. That site became nothing but a place to post like 5 different clichés over and over again and this is one of the most retarded ones. Please don't infect FML with alot of these stories I actually enjoy this site.
Aznboifreakster 0
I would have done the same