Kids, Family, Pranks and Fight: Patsy - FML

Patsy

By Anonymous - 28/04/2022 12:00

Today, my brother ran in, handed me a spatula, and told me to stand still. Barely a second later, our sister came tearing in the house with a fresh, raised welt on her ass cheek in the shape of said spatula, saw me holding said spatula, and kicked my ass up and down the house until I escaped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 174

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Same thing different taste

Ninja skills

By Anonymous - 28/08/2022 22:00

Today, my sister kicked me up the ass with such precision that I’m still bleeding from my asshole where the toe of her shoe tore the skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 134

By bloody hell - 04/06/2015 05:59 - Philippines - Para?aque

Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 981

You deserved it 3 860

Affectionate, huh?

By littlemiss - 10/02/2013 16:17 - Canada - Whitby

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 662

You deserved it 3 051

Sexy morning

By Anonymous - 15/01/2020 00:00 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, my sister woke me up panicking saying our kitchen was on fire, and we had to leave. She practically dragged me out of bed and all the way to the front door. When we got outside, she suddenly kneed me in the nuts and went back inside, locking the door behind her. I was only wearing boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 753

You deserved it 281

By NaomiMadison - 30/07/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 121

You deserved it 3 144

Right in the snowglobes

By Anonymous - 29/09/2020 13:02 - United Kingdom - Tilehurst

Today, my sister kicked me in the balls just before I went into the bathroom, as she wanted to use the shower first. Later, when I came out of the bathroom, she kneed me this time in the same spot because apparently I always make a mess in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 200

You deserved it 198

By Anonymous - 27/12/2014 20:53 - United States - Tucson

Today, I got into a fight with my sister. Later on she brought me a bowl of tortilla chips, which I thought was her way of apologizing. I found out too late that she'd licked the flavoring off them and it was really her way of saying "Fuck you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 121

You deserved it 4 856

By MereLewis95 - 26/10/2011 08:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 457

You deserved it 4 533

By Anonymous - 18/12/2009 20:27 - United States

Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 119

You deserved it 4 836

Are you ready to ruuuuuumbbbbbble?

By Mr.Incognito-san - 19/11/2020 02:02

Today, I heard my sisters fighting downstairs, so I went down to see what all the commotion was about. As I entered the room, one of them picked me up and threw me at the other one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 1 258

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 28 April 2022 16:08

Plot twist: the siblings are all in their sixties.

Rozay333 36

Thursday 28 April 2022 15:01

Wouldn’t your sister know it wasn’t you once she was just ya know..chasing your brother?

Comments

Rozay333 36

Thursday 28 April 2022 15:01

Wouldn’t your sister know it wasn’t you once she was just ya know..chasing your brother?

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 28 April 2022 16:08

Plot twist: the siblings are all in their sixties.

JaneSimple 25

Friday 29 April 2022 5:03

How exactly were you able to see your sister's ass?

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Friday 29 April 2022 7:44

Presumably she was suntanning in a bikini or something.

Grumpy Jack 26

Tuesday 7 June 2022 20:26

Cet revenge. Chase tour brother with said spatula and beat him up !

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Management Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 971

You deserved it 2 303

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 635

You deserved it 42 712

The Top

Today, I went to get insurance and I have a non-fault third party claim and yet my insurance has gone up. I wasn't even in the car when someone hit it. Why have I got penalised? They claim I'm now "statistically more likely to get in an accident." My car was parked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 819

You deserved it 143

Today, I figured out that a $40 phone case does not protect your $500 phone from a five year-old throwing it off a fourth story balcony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 157

You deserved it 8 923

Today, I came home at 1 am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 664

You deserved it 4 039

Today, I popped a zit that had formed around an ingrown hair "down there". It popped with so much force, the pus hit me in the forehead. Still can't get the hair out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 240

You deserved it 271

Today, my boyfriend was reading me a poem he wrote for me. It was beautiful, and going really well… until he read the last line, which had a girl's name in it. It wasn't my name. My boyfriend said, "Shit, wrong girl", and dug through his bag for a different poem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 106

You deserved it 4 740

Today, I was working at a restaurant. This guy comes up to the counter and asks if he could have some toothpicks. I told him they were right in front of him. He said, "Sorry, I'm blind." Thinking it was a joke, I laughed until he said, "No, seriously." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 634

You deserved it 37 616