Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island. We sleep 3 feet away from each other and he has been doing this since Christmas. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate switched jobs and now goes to work in the morning. His dog has declared that going on a barking frenzy right after he leaves is a great thing to do. Earplugs don't work - I move too much and they fall out too easily. Only 30 more days until he moves out. FML
Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML
Today, I'm spending the night at my family’s house. I have to share a room with my two kids and their mother. The three of them snore like warthogs in a zoo. Desperate for sleep, I went to go sleep on the couch. The dog sleeping on the rug snores like an old truck. I’m never going to get any sleep. FML
Today, I had a talk with my roommate that last semester my grades took a bit because he stays up late every night playing video games. And then asked him about playing less, so I can get more sleep. Today also, he gave me a pair of ear plugs and asked if they would solve the problem. FML
Today, my step mom and her kids moved in. This is my first night sharing a room with her daughter. She snores, sleep talks, and sleep scratches the side of the bed creating a sound like nails on a chalkboard. FML
Today, I woke up to my roommate glaring at me. Apparently, I was sleep-talking again, but last night I apparently shouted, “You’ll never find the bodies!” multiple times. He’s been sleeping with his door locked since. FML
Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML
Today, my roommate's dogs dictate where I sleep. When my roommate doesn't work, I get to stay in my bedroom. When he does work, I have to go into the living room because they will bark at me simply because I exist until he comes back. I'm already an insomniac; loud dogs are a little overkill. FML
Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML
Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML
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Top comments
Vehicle 1
This FML is dumb. lol.
FernandoTorres_fml 0
Wait, can someone re-read this for me, I think I missed the part that makes this an FML...
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Comments (91)
fishyfingaz 0
we've got cabin fever! we've got cabin fever!
gossipgrl17 0
thats terrible. Its one thing if it happened once, but every night is brutal. I can't tell u how many nights I have fallen asleep to my roommate watching The Nanny
karalea 0
Ahhh I loooove that movie! Fyl for being shitty!
mp73 0
oh my !!!there's a toaster in my bed
robertsk89 0
muppet treasure island is the shit!!!!!! I need to marry your room mate!!!!
ishankedyourcat 0
I don't get how that's a fml
Oze6000 4
OP here, yes i live in a dorm room therefore i do live 3 feet away from my roommate without being gay. To the people that say YDI, yes i have let him know that i have to turn it off after he falls asleep every night, he laughed when someone suggested that he uses headphones, and I am trying to move out, but am in a contract till June with the University. Doesn't matter if you like the muppets or not, listen to the same movie every damn night and you're willing to kill yourself. I would use ear plugs but then i wouldn't be able to wake up to an alarm.
samantha_durano 6
hahah, how old is your room mate?
Oze6000 4
18, lol. Both freshmen at college
hotpinkdiamond 0
that was the first movie my mom took me to see in theaters haha!
tisiphone_fml 0
You need to watch the muppet episode of Joss Whedon's Angel, where they're really demons that brainwash people and steal their souls...