Miscellaneous: Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island.... - FML

By Oze - 18/02/2010 09:48 - United States

Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island. We sleep 3 feet away from each other and he has been doing this since Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 698

You deserved it 2 870

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

One man and his dog

By This alarm clock can go fuck itself - 11/08/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my roommate switched jobs and now goes to work in the morning. His dog has declared that going on a barking frenzy right after he leaves is a great thing to do. Earplugs don't work - I move too much and they fall out too easily. Only 30 more days until he moves out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 84

Zzzzzzzz

By turnedintoinsomniac - 21/01/2011 19:46 - United States

Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 497

You deserved it 2 857

Noise

By wide awake - 31/07/2020 14:01

Today, I'm spending the night at my family’s house. I have to share a room with my two kids and their mother. The three of them snore like warthogs in a zoo. Desperate for sleep, I went to go sleep on the couch. The dog sleeping on the rug snores like an old truck. I’m never going to get any sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 377

You deserved it 218

Great solution

By sullry - 25/12/2019 05:00

Today, I had a talk with my roommate that last semester my grades took a bit because he stays up late every night playing video games. And then asked him about playing less, so I can get more sleep. Today also, he gave me a pair of ear plugs and asked if they would solve the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 607

You deserved it 888

By mskawaiibat - 29/06/2013 10:01 - United States - Laguna Hills

Today, my step mom and her kids moved in. This is my first night sharing a room with her daughter. She snores, sleep talks, and sleep scratches the side of the bed creating a sound like nails on a chalkboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 760

You deserved it 3 413

By roomie487 - 06/10/2009 21:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 217

You deserved it 4 332

Noisy boys

By Help - 01/02/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, my roommate's dogs dictate where I sleep. When my roommate doesn't work, I get to stay in my bedroom. When he does work, I have to go into the living room because they will bark at me simply because I exist until he comes back. I'm already an insomniac; loud dogs are a little overkill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 150

Zzzzzzz

By Alyssa - 21/09/2016 07:17 - United States - Spring Park

Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 304

You deserved it 1 221

By Tired Girlfriend - 14/06/2017 22:00

Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 884

You deserved it 483

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 16:32 - Argentina

Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 450

You deserved it 3 904

Next

Top comments

Vehicle 1

Thursday 18 February 2010 16:12

This FML is dumb. lol.

FernandoTorres_fml 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 16:17

Wait, can someone re-read this for me, I think I missed the part that makes this an FML...

Comments

fishyfingaz 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 21:47

we've got cabin fever! we've got cabin fever!

gossipgrl17 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 22:22

thats terrible. Its one thing if it happened once, but every night is brutal. I can't tell u how many nights I have fallen asleep to my roommate watching The Nanny

karalea 0

Friday 19 February 2010 0:35

Ahhh I loooove that movie! Fyl for being shitty!

mp73 0

Friday 19 February 2010 1:26

oh my !!!there's a toaster in my bed

robertsk89 0

Friday 19 February 2010 1:31

muppet treasure island is the shit!!!!!! I need to marry your room mate!!!!

ishankedyourcat 0

Friday 19 February 2010 1:50

I don't get how that's a fml

Oze6000 4

Friday 19 February 2010 1:55

OP here, yes i live in a dorm room therefore i do live 3 feet away from my roommate without being gay. To the people that say YDI, yes i have let him know that i have to turn it off after he falls asleep every night, he laughed when someone suggested that he uses headphones, and I am trying to move out, but am in a contract till June with the University. Doesn't matter if you like the muppets or not, listen to the same movie every damn night and you're willing to kill yourself. I would use ear plugs but then i wouldn't be able to wake up to an alarm.

samantha_durano 6

Friday 19 February 2010 2:05

hahah, how old is your room mate?

Oze6000 4

Friday 19 February 2010 4:00

18, lol. Both freshmen at college

hotpinkdiamond 0

Friday 19 February 2010 2:53

that was the first movie my mom took me to see in theaters haha!

tisiphone_fml 0

Friday 19 February 2010 4:03

You need to watch the muppet episode of Joss Whedon's Angel, where they're really demons that brainwash people and steal their souls...

2
3
4
5
6
7

Keywords

Dreams Jealousy Love Video games Geek Gamers AITA Kids Parents Family Relatable Gun control Animals Amazon Money Annoying Cute Birthday Weird Awkward Health Abuse Scams Social Media Mysterious Miscellaneous Friends School Education Anger issues

The Top

Today, my dad uttered the dreaded words, “Now don’t worry boy, I knows exactly what I is doing.” A few short minutes later he has a destroyed impact drill, my ladder is snapped, my kitchen window is broken, my wife is in hospital for stitches, and we can’t find the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 67

Today, I get to add spaghetti sauce to my rather extensive list of things that don't belong in a person's eye but that end up in mine anyway. Other items include molten cheese, rock salt, orange juice, chips of nail polish, cotton fibers, and firework ash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 111

You deserved it 5 027

The Top

Today, I got locked in an old woman's garage for an hour when she forgot I was looking at the car for sale. When I got home, I told my mom and jokingly said, "First time I have been kidnapped!" Without hesitation she said, "Well, that makes it the third time." I had no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 008

You deserved it 207

Today, I got a new mattress delivered to my house. Didn’t have it on the frame for more than 5 minutes before my cat had already pissed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 467

You deserved it 375

Today, my vehicle's transmission shifter moves freely without shifting gears. I'm stuck in park, in a parking lot, unable to even put it into neutral to push the vehicle out of the way of several parked cars. The old lady screaming at me just outside my door doesn't understand logic either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 589

You deserved it 1 945

Today, I was supposed to be sipping margaritas on a beach in Mexico. Too bad we only made it 37 miles before getting in a car accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 537

You deserved it 292

Today, I went to various attractions in Singapore throughout the day. Then, I visited Singapore Night Safari, a zoo with a theme at night. Besides dozing off throughout the train excursion, my night blindness ultimately prevented me from seeing more than 40% of the creatures. The ticket cost me USD$40. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 743

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 128

You deserved it 5 944