Today, my roommate, who has bipolar disorder and refuses to take his meds, tried to stab me with a kitchen knife because I threw out his moldy cheese. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML
Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML
Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML
Today, my roommate yelled at me yet again for using the dishwasher because it's "unsanitary." This is all while a mountain of her dishes were going mouldy in the sink. FML
Today, my roommate came home from work and yelled at me for my dinner being too spicy. The same dinner he denied stealing. FML
Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me, all because he saw me chopping down a tree in Minecraft. FML
Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML
Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML
Today, I found out that my psycho roommate replaced my milk with milk of magnesia. How? By taking a huge gulp. Tonight is going to be fun. FML
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Top comments
kjack49044 18
Maybe an intervention or change in roommate is in order...
tranced_ 45
cheesus !
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Comments (110)
hickdog 6
Are you positive it was moldy? I have seen some pretty smelly, green and blue veined runny messes passing for cheese;I think the French them delicacies
Rigi 3
I know EXACTLY how this feels. My bipolar friend started a fistfight when I emptied his overflowing ashtray.
rec_chem 22
Sounds like a new roommate is in order...
frusa 3
Notify the police and find said roommate another place to live (like a mental health facility). Otherwise we can all have a laugh next time when you write from your bloody hospital bed. It is called Assault with a deadly weapon, a felony. Get outta that situation unless you are effing stupid, then you deserve it.
kmartFTW 12
OP must not be a fan of Blue Cheese!
darryaz 9
Echoing the others..... Get out of there or find a way to get rid of the roommate. Maybe contact his family? Being around a mentally disturbed person is not a healthy situation for you (I know, I've been there).
over9000skittles 15
Maybe you should spike his drinks with his meds…
perdix 31
Why are you touching another man's cheese, Jack? That's nacho cheese, it's his.
Sebvill96 10
Could of been blue cheese?
worldclassrager 41
Slip the meds in his food or grind them up or something...