Today, my roommate, who has bipolar disorder and refuses to take his meds, tried to stab me with a kitchen knife because I threw out his moldy cheese. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML
Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML
Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML
Today, my roommate yelled at me yet again for using the dishwasher because it's "unsanitary." This is all while a mountain of her dishes were going mouldy in the sink. FML
Today, my roommate came home from work and yelled at me for my dinner being too spicy. The same dinner he denied stealing. FML
Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me, all because he saw me chopping down a tree in Minecraft. FML
Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML
Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML
Today, I found out that my psycho roommate replaced my milk with milk of magnesia. How? By taking a huge gulp. Tonight is going to be fun. FML
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Top comments
kjack49044 18
Maybe an intervention or change in roommate is in order...
tranced_ 45
cheesus !
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Comments (110)
Daydreamer4466 6
I think it's time for you to move out or else we are going see you on snapped.
ConfusedMD 2
I would recommend you call 911 to hospitalize him ASAP. Its important to protect him, you and others from the potential manic state
AgentPlatypus73 8
Move out, call the police, have his hospitalized. Any one of those things seems like a more reasonable reaction to this situation rather than posting it on FML.
mattatom17 10
Hey, don't mess with a man's moldy cheese.
nk94 13
Maybe it's time for a new roommate?
darkfireflame 15
Time to move out.