Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my roommate still chooses to waste his money on McDonald's food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He politely refuses to eat my nutritious home-cooked meals that people say taste amazing. Then he complains that he's in a shitty mood all the time. I wonder why… FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, after a long night of studying, my roommate and her friends decided it would be fun to throw a mini party in my room at 7am. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, I clocked into work completely exhausted despite having gone to bed early. My roommates stayed up until 4am watching a movie, blasting music, and constantly giggling like madwomen. This is their "new and improved" schedule. FML
Today, my roommate told me that she was studying in the library. Turns out, she didn't feel like going to the library and just spent all afternoon studying in a friend's room because she didn't think I was capable of shutting up for long enough to get any work done. Our other friends agreed. FML
Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, my roommate remembered that we have an essay due Monday, so he wrote the full essay, while stoned, in less than an hour, without using his textbook. It was better than the one I spent all week writing. He is now upstairs having sex, and I've lost all motivation. FML
Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML
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Top comments
dhall30 8
Don't worry that will soon change.
Chelsea_bella 20
Life sucks and then you die.
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Comments (107)
Schiffy 18
I'm betting she has some fun on the side with the teachers and her boss for those grades and money.
withered 30
Yeah. Because if someone is better than you they are cheating. That is the mentality of a loser.
juker369 7
I doubt you both are taking the same exact classes with the same exact professors. Even if you both have the same majors there are different professors for one course. A few years ago I had a roommate who wasn't the brightest crayon in the box (she once asked how I knew Canadian geese were from Canada), her adviser always told her the easiest professors and she always did okay. Try finding out who the easier professors are so you don't have to work as hard.
smokestrong 1
Social skills are what matter
skyeyez9 24
Maybe the stress of maintaining a great body, good grades and a stressful job drove her to become an alcoholic.
mosquito19 14
it won't last.
diohic 5
Gravity will catch up with her.
Ashley868 10
I lived in that same situation three years ago. It was a great day when I bought my condo. Trust me it pays off, and now I have the better body. She is still stuck in the tiny apartment because she can't save.
reflexion213 11
Won't last forever.
nelliealexis 3
Im so sorry. This makes me so sad.
saffy66 34
If she's doing that every night she clearly has issues. Maybe the pressure to be perfect will all get too much for her soon. Don't compare yourself to others. The only things you need measure up to are the goals & standards you set for yourself. At least she's going out to party & isn't doing it at home & disturbing your study.
interesting33 36
I like you! I think that is a really good comment!