By Anonymous - 17/2/2021 17:01

None of your business

Today, I told my mom my husband and I were considering having another baby. She said, "No!" about 30 times. Then later she texted me that she insists on no more kids. I guess I will never have that bonding moment with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

804

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Kids

Family

Understandable

Proactive

Public transport FTW

By blondie - Australia

Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22983

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87943

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By Anonymous - Australia - Canberra

Today, after the topic of grandkids came up yet again, my fiancé confessed that we've been having trouble conceiving. Later, I overheard his mum telling him to take my engagement ring back to the store and get a refund, because apparently I'm not worth marrying if I can't give him kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25547

You deserved it

1608

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By couch potato - 16/3/2020 03:03

I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike

Today, I argued with my mom that I deserved enough independence to ride my bike to school. Halfway there, I realized I was so out of shape that I had to call her for a ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks

487

You deserved it

1673

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By ShadowJack - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41290

You deserved it

9717

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By greeter - Canada - Willow Grove

Today, my class had a very important meeting about workplace safety. I thought I led some of my classmates to the meeting very well, until they informed me that I accidentally ran a red light on the way there. They brought this infraction up during the class every chance they got. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11018

You deserved it

3346

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By guiltyschuldig49 - 28/5/2020 14:00

Noise annoys

Today, and for months, my upstairs neighbor has been stomping on their floors, hard enough to shake our walls. We thought it was their child, but found out it’s the mother. She took up running, and due to the pandemic, she does it in the living room. She's already been told to stop. Repeatedly. I work 12-hour nights. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1705

You deserved it

116

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By Bugga2018 - United States - Freeport

Today, I went into the basement to do laundry. There is a little rope on the outside of the door to lock it. I was down there for 20 minutes, and came back up the stairs to find it locked. Turns out, my 3 year-old sister did it, then our parents took her to the park. I was stuck down there for 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12299

You deserved it

894

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32209

You deserved it

4192

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By dude - France

Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: "I'm keeping them just in case..." - "In case of what?" - "In case I want to dress up like an asshole". FML

I agree, your life sucks

11483

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28850

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By fatty - Germany

Today, I met my cousin after two years. She got really tall and skinny, like a model. I joked saying, "You've grown and gotten slim, and I've stayed the same and have gotten fat." I expected some sort of disagreement. Instead, she looked me up and down, frowned, and gave me a long, sympathetic hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23660

You deserved it

49792

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By Anonymous

Today, I traveled to my hometown for a funeral. I'm staying with my family in the house I grew up in. My dad told me they'd "completely renovated" the house. There's still only one bathroom for the seven of us and I'm sleeping on the floor for the entire two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4027

You deserved it

394

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By Anonymous

Today, while buying Red Dead Redemption 2, the cashier spoiled the ending. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3129

You deserved it

308

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I overheard my mother-in-law and sister-in-law over the baby monitor. They were talking about how much better off my daughter would be if I were to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26001

You deserved it

1598

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By deeenalynn - Canada

Today, I have horrible morning sickness. I was helping my daughter fingerpaint, when suddenly the smell of the paint set my stomach off. I threw up all over myself and her painting. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32773

You deserved it

4247

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By Geez - Netherlands

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29995

You deserved it

3730

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By ImNotFat - New Zealand

Today, a photo of my friends and me was posted in our college group. I didn't notice my legs looked enormous until my friend pointed it out. Her comment got 50 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31833

You deserved it

3262

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By Anonymous - United States - Grand Junction

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45671

You deserved it

10763

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21345

You deserved it

81523

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By puppydrama - United States

Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40891

You deserved it

2913

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By LifeSucks - Canada

Today, as I was taking my three year old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

66447

You deserved it

3953

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By konichiwa - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my friends. My friend started talking about how unfair it is that women can use their breasts to get promotions. I told him that he has no place to talk, as he used his "d*ck" a few months ago with his female boss. His girlfriend of 3 years was sitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11784

You deserved it

34460

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By valene5687 - United States - Gretna

Today, I was locked out of my house. With no other available option, I decided to try and ninja my way through a window. However, as it turns out, I would make a terrible ninja. I now have a sprained ankle and a broken window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17295

You deserved it

5390

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By kiwibox - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47991

You deserved it

7111

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was going into an office building. There was a boy and a man ahead of me, and the boy held the door open for me. Surprised, I said "What a nice young man," and he said. "It's ok, ma'am; my dad says to always hold the doors open for old ladies." I'm 43. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29554

You deserved it

6287

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By Cherie - United States

Today, I received a private message on Facebook, from a woman I've never heard of, subject: "Eric X's wife says HI." She goes on to say that she is going to find me, and ruin my life the way I have ruined hers. I've never even heard of Eric X and am happily engaged. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34213

You deserved it

2441

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By Earplugged - United States - Vancouver

Today, I have to wear earplugs in my own apartment because my neighbor won't turn down his music. My landlord doesn't believe me because "people with disabilities can't be rude." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30578

You deserved it

2142

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By Lincoln - Australia

Today, I had to sit here for 8 hours copying and pasting thousands of product codes on a frigging spreadsheet. My job title is not data entry, I'm a graphic designer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23227

You deserved it

2782

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By new 2 twitter

Today, I had to make a Twitter account, because that is apparently the best way to get news from our new president. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6523

You deserved it

1556

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By awkwardpanda

Today, I performed for the first time at someone's wedding. When the music started, I heard a click. Slowly, I felt my strapless bra drop lower and lower due to my non-existent breasts. The hook on my bra had broken at that very moment on stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7748

You deserved it

708

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By nograd4mee - Germany

Today, I held a presentation about my masters thesis. Turns out, my professor never ever actually read the drafts I'd given him, but decided to rip me to pieces in front of everyone, saying that the topic isn't worth researching. I've been working on it for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37059

You deserved it

2703

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By ineedaraise - Canada - London

Today, after nearly two months of working at my new job, one of my co-workers finally explained to me that the list of tasks that our boss gives me every day are actually HER duties, and as I complete them, she just sits in her office and watches Netflix. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29592

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2307

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By dragonstooth257

Today, while on vacation with my siblings and the horde of nieces and nephews, me and hubby managed to sneak in a quickie. It was a quickie alright. Ihe first time in our marriage he blew his load after 2 strokes because he was afraid of being interrupted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2707

You deserved it

559

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By Anonymous - 3/8/2020 05:02

Getting no pussy love

Today, since getting the new kitten that only I wanted, it has scratched me and peed on my socks, my side of the bed and my laptop. It loves my husband though, who was against getting a cat at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1203

You deserved it

363

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By sigh... - United States

Today, after several hours of trying to get my triplet daughters to go to bed, they finally fell asleep. Exhausted, I went to the bathroom so I could go to bed. Not thinking about it, I dropped the toilet seat down rather loudly and flushed the toilet. All three girls woke up crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34527

You deserved it

27447

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By annoyed - United States - North Las Vegas

Today, I finally picked up my new bank card after my old one was stolen. It took the bank six weeks and five separate orders to figure it out, on top of which they've charged me a rush fee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24139

You deserved it

1893

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By Stressed

Today, I got promoted. By promoted, I mean, given a much harder job with no training and no extra pay because someone went on maternity leave. They've already hired someone for my old position. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2029

You deserved it

126

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By cul8erqtpie20 - United States

Today, I found out my roomie has lost her only source of income. This means I'm responsible for all the bills and the rent. I would kick her out and get someone else, but she's my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35182

You deserved it

4697

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By Anonymous - United States - Apex

Today, while bussing at my restaurant job, I felt a cold, wet animal slither down my leg. I started shrieking loudly and dancing dementedly to get it off, and everyone in the restaurant turned to stare. Then I realized there was a hole in my pocket and some quarters had slid out down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23953

You deserved it

8198

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was supposed to work with this girl I really like but I had the flu really bad. I really really wanted to see her so I forced myself out of bed and went to work feeling terrible but determined to see her face. When I got to work I asked where she was. She had called in sick with the flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39948

You deserved it

17714

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML

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74023

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4522

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Top comments

By ahabsfan | 14

#7972327 - Wednesday 17 February 2021 20:32

Is she the one stuck babysitting all the time?

By RichardPencil | 29

#7972329 - Wednesday 17 February 2021 20:34

Is your first kid such an insufferable brat?

COMMENTS

By ahabsfan | 14

#7972327 - Wednesday 17 February 2021 20:32

Is she the one stuck babysitting all the time?

By RichardPencil | 29

#7972329 - Wednesday 17 February 2021 20:34

Is your first kid such an insufferable brat?

By chyiochan | 31

#7972352 - Wednesday 17 February 2021 22:05

I mean, other than the possibility that she's the one that babysits them all the time and can't do it any more; it's pretty nifty that you don't need your mother in the process to have more kids.