Health: Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired,... - FML

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 18:45 - United States

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 284

You deserved it 79 698

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Same thing different taste

I'm not sad. Or am I?

By Dr Pepper - 22/05/2019 18:05

Today, to protect me from the 'bad people' out there, my mom bought some pepper spray. While trying to test it, I accidentally sprayed myself in the eyes. Now, every person I meet asks me what I've been crying about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 1 691

Fast response

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 550

You deserved it 4 251

By Anonymous - 06/09/2012 01:34 - Canada

Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 924

You deserved it 2 879

By Username - 09/02/2011 03:27

Today, I got mugged. But luckily I had on my keyring the pepper spray that my husband had insisted I keep with me. Unlucky for me, my husband's co-worker, who borrowed my keys, emptied my pepper by spraying it on a brick wall one day when he was bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 392

You deserved it 3 108

Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes

By Anonymous - 09/02/2017 15:00 - United States - Stevenson Ranch

Today, after pranking my roommate several times by putting lube in his hand sanitizer bottle, he got me back by putting sanitizer in my lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 767

You deserved it 12 031

By Anonymous - 19/09/2010 01:57 - United States

Today, after lunch with my frail, disabled, 87-year-old father, I reached into my purse for lipstick. I didn't recognize the cute cylinder I pulled out, but thinking it was a flashlight, I pressed the little button, spraying my dad and myself in the face with pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 588

You deserved it 36 395

Zapped

By joey - 09/03/2020 05:00

Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 836

You deserved it 134

By Anonymous - 29/05/2010 13:16 - Malaysia

Today, someone switched my hairspray with bug spray when I didn't notice. I used it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 987

You deserved it 6 542

By Anonymous - 10/03/2013 00:40 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 981

You deserved it 5 563

By spoiled22 - 12/10/2011 07:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to change the batteries of my automatic room freshener. As I held it to my face to figure out where the batteries went, it started spraying on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 861

You deserved it 28 206

Next

Top comments

flockz 19

Wednesday 6 July 2011 23:58

dumbass nice job spraying yourself.

karmennn 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:00

that was stupid. ydi for spraying yourself with pepper spray...expired or not

Comments

jswizzle_ 6

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:03

Are you stupid or..?

kkbabe01xo 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:09

Go on...

nucky_fml 5

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:29

or did your parents drop you few times on your head while you were a baby?

ashleykay94 7

Thursday 7 July 2011 1:26

stupid is as stupid does :)

aphelps 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:03

u are the perfect example of an idiot what a dumbass YDI

OceanBreathesSal 5

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:04

you should have tested it on your roommate instead. YDI.

wajih 1

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:04

YDI. Why would you test it on your self test it on her :D

MzCherry29 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:04

Yikes!! Feel bad 4 ya but u did that 2 urself!! ??

A7X_LoVeee 10

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:34

Erm...the reasoning is in the FML.

IndigoFuckYou 9

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:35

So, what are the question marks for in this comment? Please. Someone enlighten me.

dreamering 16

Thursday 7 July 2011 1:27

17, your profile picture suits you perfectly.

MzCherry29 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 14:01

Fyi ****** idiots my phone had a moment & it was an accident!! if ur that worried over question marks Id say **** ur life because u need 1 u sorry sacks of shit!! And at least my pic is of sumthing some1 can recognize. U assholes & ur remarks crack me up!!

ZoZo17_fml 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:05

I'd test it on her.!!

Mini_Pedobear 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:07

cool story bro

imnotcraZ 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:07

moron

birdfreak 24

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:08

STUPID! you NEVER under ANY circumstance try pepper spray.

xomaddixo 1

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:25

or anything expired at that...

TheLetterZero 7

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:35

Not even if someone is attacking you?

birdfreak 24

Thursday 7 July 2011 1:36

I meant in yourself.

McAninch35 9

Thursday 7 July 2011 1:46

IN yourself? Kinky...

birdfreak 24

Thursday 7 July 2011 2:06

ON yourself happy

lajaynay 15

Thursday 7 July 2011 3:05

using it IN yourself could and probably would cause death. Have you not seen 1,000 Ways to Die??

birdfreak 24

Thursday 7 July 2011 3:50

don't have mor than 20 channels. its all local and shopping channels.

lajaynay 15

Thursday 7 July 2011 5:16

it's on Spike which is usually included with basic cable.

birdfreak 24

Thursday 7 July 2011 6:03

not on my tv.

lajaynay 15

Thursday 7 July 2011 8:01

FYL then.

bentleysdad11611 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 14:02

lol you just made him look pretty bad nice job girl ?

mruizk9 7

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:10

smartest idea ive heard in years..... dumbass

SirObvious 1

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:21

but you just said....

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Insurance Money Plumbing Awkward Work Relatable Parents Poopoo peepee AITA Love Relationship advice Cheating Suspicious Health Phobias Insects Abuse Family Drunk Kids Argument First Dates Weird Marriage Gross Mental health Cars Death

The Top

Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 704

You deserved it 5 783

Today, I was talking with a friend and casually mentioned how close I live to a train station. She said that since we’re both about a day away from NYC, we should meet up there and have a girls trip. I thought it was an awesome idea. When I mentioned it to my fiancé, he freaked about money. The date isn’t even set yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 116

The Top

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 491

You deserved it 6 050

Today, I was taking the subway home when some entitled fuck called me a "junkie", all because I'm long-haired and have my arms covered in tattoos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 220

Today, feeling like I needed to relax, I ordered room service at my hotel. When I was finished I went to put the tray outside not thinking about needing a key to get back in. I locked myself out of my room wearing happy face underwear in a $250 a night hotel. I had to go to the lobby to get a new key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 312

You deserved it 26 986

Today, I joined a local interest website, hoping to make some friends in my area. I don't think I've ever met so many guys before who introduce themselves with pictures of their cocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 660

You deserved it 5 990

Today, my 43-year-old brother's obsession with Breaking Bad reached a new level of stupidity when he nearly got us beaten up by a bunch of meth-heads down by our local park. He went up to them with his shaved head and stupid hat, and tried to act all Walter White with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 726

You deserved it 2 277

Today, my mom saw me holding a plant and told me to walk around with it, to replace all of the oxygen I waste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 895

You deserved it 213