Health: Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired,...

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 18:45 - United States

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 284

You deserved it 79 698

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Same thing different taste

I'm not sad. Or am I?

By Dr Pepper - 22/05/2019 18:05

Today, to protect me from the 'bad people' out there, my mom bought some pepper spray. While trying to test it, I accidentally sprayed myself in the eyes. Now, every person I meet asks me what I've been crying about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 1 693

Fast response

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 558

You deserved it 4 252

By Anonymous - 06/09/2012 01:34 - Canada

Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 924

You deserved it 2 879

By Username - 09/02/2011 03:27

Today, I got mugged. But luckily I had on my keyring the pepper spray that my husband had insisted I keep with me. Unlucky for me, my husband's co-worker, who borrowed my keys, emptied my pepper by spraying it on a brick wall one day when he was bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 393

You deserved it 3 108

Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes

By Anonymous - 09/02/2017 15:00 - United States - Stevenson Ranch

Today, after pranking my roommate several times by putting lube in his hand sanitizer bottle, he got me back by putting sanitizer in my lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 767

You deserved it 12 032

By Anonymous - 19/09/2010 01:57 - United States

Today, after lunch with my frail, disabled, 87-year-old father, I reached into my purse for lipstick. I didn't recognize the cute cylinder I pulled out, but thinking it was a flashlight, I pressed the little button, spraying my dad and myself in the face with pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 588

You deserved it 36 397

Zapped

By joey - 09/03/2020 05:00

Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 836

You deserved it 134

By Anonymous - 29/05/2010 13:16 - Malaysia

Today, someone switched my hairspray with bug spray when I didn't notice. I used it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 987

You deserved it 6 542

By Anonymous - 10/03/2013 00:40 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 981

You deserved it 5 564

By spoiled22 - 12/10/2011 07:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to change the batteries of my automatic room freshener. As I held it to my face to figure out where the batteries went, it started spraying on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 861

You deserved it 28 206

flockz 19

Wednesday 6 July 2011 23:58

dumbass nice job spraying yourself.

karmennn 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:00

that was stupid. ydi for spraying yourself with pepper spray...expired or not

Comments

mjninety 9

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:10

Expired or not it's still hot.

NYkid2K8 5

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:12

Please for the rest of society, do not reproduce..

udontknome 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:13

I do stuff like that too. Bu then again, I don't use pepper spray even when it's expired. Yeah cuz then that would be dumb (hint hint)

benchpress550 4

Thursday 7 July 2011 4:38

ellllllllllllo?

pinkrink9 5

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:15

your smart

NoodleBurger 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 4:36

you're*.

tona01 16

Thursday 7 July 2011 5:20

you're not

unrose 1

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:15

Are you dumb or are you dumb dumbass...

merritalstatus 3

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:20

WHY?

SirObvious 1

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:23

hahaah that's a blonde joke ahaha

F0xyTurtle 8

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:46

hey now... >:(

Lstands4LOSER 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:20

It could be worse, atleast she's not blonde... right?

karmennn 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:22

why doesn't anyone reply to my comment? FML :(

mejiiaa 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:24

LOL

kduubb 7

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:24

its your fault for testing it on yourself in the first place...

Venith 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 1:12

exactly ;)

Keywords

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The Top

Today, one of my roommates blew a fuse by running a personal heater on full overnight. I notified our landlady that I had to get a new fuse; she came over to pay me for it. Only as I heard landlady's horn did I see another roommate's girlfriend's car; she stayed overnight and isn't allowed to. Both roomies got evicted and blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 91

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I agree, your life sucks 511

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 909

You deserved it 561

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I agree, your life sucks 2 534

You deserved it 4 203

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I agree, your life sucks 60 425

You deserved it 3 283

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You deserved it 234

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I agree, your life sucks 40 839

You deserved it 6 188

Today, at school I was sitting with a friend outside, talking about irregular periods and unshaven legs. Ten minutes into the conversation, a teacher sticks her head out the window above us and tells us to leave. We were distracting a classroom who were trying to finish a test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 974

You deserved it 22 420