Miscellaneous: Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken...

By Danielle - United States

Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML

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55673

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Miscellaneous

TMI

Doomed

Trip Advisor says no

By rokkstarrrVRV - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I took a girl on a date. Her and her imaginary friends. FML

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46191

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I let a friend cut my hair. I soon went from having a 'fro to looking like I lost a fight with a lawn mower. FML

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35651

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By Viridian - United States

Today, I gave a big presentation at work. The manager decided to video tape it. I went through my presentation with ease and was confident I did a good job. My confidence was then lowered after watching the tape. Apparently, my boobs are much more interesting than what I had to say. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57480

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41065

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By Spatch - United States

Today, my navy boyfriend, who's stationed in Italy, calls me to say he is in San Francisco and is coming to see me. After scrambling to get ready, he calls me back to say he doesn't recognize the train station. After searching on Google Maps, it becomes clear he's drunk at Oktoberfest. In Germany. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45119

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3250

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By tukker - Canada

Today, my brother replaced my cologne with whiskey. I have a job interview and I smell like a drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47727

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4389

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By Username - United Kingdom

Today, I was listening to music while I wrapped Christmas presents. All was going well when the music was cut off, literally. I snipped the cable to my very expensive headphones in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14171

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By sleepylillion - United States - Eleele

Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14146

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1504

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By Anonymous

Today, I had a teaching job interview. After giving my demo lesson, I was told by the director that I had given it on the wrong topic. Turns out, I never got the e-mail with the instructions for the interview. Now I'm definitely not getting the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1813

You deserved it

308

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By GD - Canada

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

I agree, your life sucks

298137

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By jake - United States

Today, I accidentally shaved part of my eyebrow. It now looks like I'm trying to raise one without moving the other. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10715

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22295

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By Gracie-Ann - United States - Portland

Today, my fiancé paid a visit to my parents so he could ask my dad's permission to marry me. My dad responded with, "Why buy the cow when you can milk it for free?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

56580

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By jmac - United States

Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26313

You deserved it

4279

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By mybmw - United States

Today, was my mom's birthday. I recently got my first job, thanks to her, and could finally afford to buy her something nice. I spent my first paycheck ever on buying her a very nice bracelet. She said it was nice, then asked if I would mind if she exchanged it for one she actually liked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30875

You deserved it

4393

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my first day of softball practice. I'm the youngest one on the team by about 2 years, so I wanted to prove I'm just as good as everyone else. Too bad I tripped in the outfield and got hit in the head with a bat. I have a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24073

You deserved it

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By Username - United States

Today, while waiting for a doctors appointment, my husband started playing angry birds. Continually losing the game ended up raising his blood pressure to the point where he now has to have his medication changed. The new medication is $100 copay. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29643

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By creimers - 1/7/2020 23:01

Tis the season

Today, my mom forbade me from taking any allergy medicine, because she is afraid that I'll turn into a meth addict. I have horrible allergies and can barely see or stop sneezing without them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1554

You deserved it

106

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By Anonymous - United States - Brooklyn

Today, a homeless man asked me for money in a train station bathroom. When I told him I had no money he left. He then returned only to pour a bottle full of urine on my head while I was in the stall. I use a metro card. I honestly had no money. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34644

You deserved it

2151

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By Anonymous

Today, I still can't get my ex out of my house. It's been a year and he, "refuses to give up on something special." FML

I agree, your life sucks

2039

You deserved it

547

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By Grand Slam - Belgium - Leuven

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

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46661

You deserved it

6712

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By BFFN - United Kingdom - Glasgow

BFF

Today, my best friend told me she no longer wants an "active friendship" with me. She says she doesn't have time to see me, since she has a boyfriend and a bunch of friends she's spent years bitching to me about. We've gone from a 14-year friendship to awkwardly nodding at each other in the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22541

You deserved it

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By PISSED OFF - Australia

Today, I bought an expensive video game and decided to show it off and post a photo of it on Instagram. When I got home to play it, it rejected my activation key. I then realised it was showing in the Instagram post. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13760

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I told the girl I've been seeing for a while about the strong feelings that I have for her and that I was falling in love. She told me my words made her realize what it felt like to be in love. My words were so powerful, in fact, that she ran right back into the arms of her ex boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40207

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By kay-z - United States

Today, my dad heard that the guy who bullied me at school died recently of a drug overdose. For some reason, he thinks we were actually best friends, and thinks I'm doing drugs too. I'm now not allowed out of the house except to go to school. He won't listen to a word I say. FML

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49580

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By Anonymous - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

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47617

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By Anonymous - 4/5/2020 23:00

Fear factor

Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1606

You deserved it

152

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By someone - Denmark

Today, I went to the dentist to get a hole in my tooth filled. After the dentist had injected the anesthetic into my gums, she realized that none of the electrical equipment were working. She sent me home. My entire right side of my face is completely numb and swollen for no reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40059

You deserved it

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By Gary - Canada

Today, I was walking next to this building that was getting renovated, and read a sign that said "Watch out for falling debris at all times." While I was watching out for debris, I fell down a staircase. FML

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34555

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By AntiAxe

Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28072

You deserved it

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By lesson.learned - United Kingdom - Littlehampton

Today, I dragged my boyfriend to see Les Misérables with me. He now refuses to communicate with me through any medium other than singing. Apparently, this is his revenge. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18032

You deserved it

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By Anonymous

Today, I splurged thousands of dollars on the breed of dog that I've loved since I was a kid from a reputable breeder. He is allergic to all food except the 24lb food for $70 and has sensitivities galore, including a seizure from a shot. I've spent $5,000 in vet bills in the first week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1724

You deserved it

3036

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By moms a baby - United States - Loma Linda

Today, my mom stopped playing badminton with me because she claimed I was too aggressive. Apparently winning, playing by the rules, and smashing is considered aggressive. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34256

You deserved it

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By Nominome - France

Today, I was in the check-out line when I noticed the guy behind me kept impatiently sighing. Thinking he was a jerk, I took as long as I could packaging my items. Turns out he left his oxygen tank in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7929

You deserved it

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By westwoodcosmo - United States - Mesa

Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19242

You deserved it

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By leahbeuhh - United Kingdom

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the way to meet him. While chatting, I told him that I had a rip in my favorite jeans. When he sympathetically apologized, I said "It's okay, you're just going to take them off in a minute, anyway." I forgot my mom was in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12580

You deserved it

70959

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By Whoops...

Today, my breakfast disagreed with me and I shit myself unexpectedly at the laundromat, right after starting the washer with all of my other pants in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2692

You deserved it

281

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By Roses are Red - United States - Ridgeland

Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML

I agree, your life sucks

36316

You deserved it

13060

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By Ugggghhh

Today, I was that person in the pharmacy that held the line up for 25 minutes. When I got home, I realized I left my prescriptions in the shopping cart in the store's parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2685

You deserved it

1798

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By Biggie - United States

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when she began skipping ahead of me and out in to the street. I saw a car coming right at her so I tackled her to the ground to save her. Turns out the car was stopping and was never going to hit her, and my girlfriend doesn't appreciate concussions. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51696

You deserved it

12860

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By Anonymous - United States - Austin

Denied

Today, an Air Force recruiter called me. I've been wanting to join the Air Force for 5 years now. After chatting on the phone with him for 10 minutes, I mentioned to him that I had asthma. He quickly told me I can't join any of the military branches, and to have a good day. FML

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1708

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Top comments

By MrVictor_fml | 0

#2633803 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 0:48

a lot more should be taking place instead of a fml. it's not fuck YOUR life, it's holy shit we found the robber! call the cops woman.

By Jake_2013 | 0

#2633810 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 0:48

Shit happens, OP. but he was wearing a girls shirt??

COMMENTS

By simranlove | 3

#2633800 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 0:47

that sucks

ZombieeeeUnicorn | 1

#2633864 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 0:54

is the robber gay? :P

imnotonaboat | 0

#2633872 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 0:55

Look out OP I think he robbed you!

ZombieeeeUnicorn | 1

#2633881 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 0:56

wait never mind :)

EvilPotato | 14

#2633992 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 1:14

all I'm saying is if I robbed someones house I wouldn't go see him wearing something I stole.

Trupe | 3

#2634026 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 1:18

Well I mean unless it was a girls shirt, you can really accuse him. I'm sure that wasn't the only shirt like that ever made....

rallets | 22

#2634031 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 1:19

#25 is Capt. Obvious

Trupe | 3

#2634035 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 1:19

Can't*

Hotlanta | 5

#2634056 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 1:23

it's captain not can't.... some people now a days...

JohannMedina | 0

#2634102 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 1:32

Or he probably bought the same exact shirt you had. Especially if it's one of those really common shirts that everyone wears. You can't assume the worst of people, OP.

agrlwithbrains00 | 0

#2634113 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 1:34

He's wearing a girl's shirt?

PurpleRae420 | 0

#2634173 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 1:43

And someones ass needs to be beaten !!!

volley4eva1698 | 0

#2634334 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 2:12

83 posts yet another comment that gets voted down...I moderated this one:)

KiddNYC1O | 20

#2634360 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 2:17

63- Fail.

By wallstreet_fml | 2

#2633801 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 0:47

wow
dumb

JesusFishTaco | 5

#2634049 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 1:22

I would've smacked him upside the head (whatever that means) with a toilet seat cover.

By MrVictor_fml | 0

#2633803 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 0:48

a lot more should be taking place instead of a fml. it's not fuck YOUR life, it's holy shit we found the robber! call the cops woman.

exethan | 0

#2634078 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 1:26

well said

MrSassypants | 32

#2634132 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 1:36

HSWFTRCTCW? FML is am acronym and now is holy shit we found the robber! call the cops women is now one too. Also I'm not sure but I think I got acronym mixed up with another word :/