Today, my roommate and I were walking to a bar and a group of guys shouted out at us "Hey, it's like we're on Animal Planet, I see a zebra and a gorilla." My roommate was wearing a zebra print shirt. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML
Today, a group of friends and I went out to a fancy club together. The doorman checked us out and let everyone in. Everyone except me, that is. The doorman's reason: "Her face looks like a baboon's arse." My "friends" all went in anyway, leaving me to walk all the way home. FML
Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML
Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML
Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like, "I'm a bear." FML
Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML
Today, my mom and I went to the mall to look for some boxer briefs. While looking, I saw two girls I knew from school, so I went over to say hello. At least, that was my plan, but my mom screamed, "Look! These have dinosaurs on them!" They left the store giggling. FML
Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML
Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML
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Top comments
jazminbliss 2
then shout back "yeah and I see a bunch of asses"
Exhumed91 0
You should have asked them if they want to do it like they do on the discovery channel
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Comments (115)
Gotz_No_Love 1
Gorillas are cool...unless you're a girl. If so, those guys are asses. ******* bitches need to stop saying shit about random people. They definitely need to stop yelling insults in public.
Praesse 0
Maybe you could wax? :)
Nuns_FTW 0
if you're a boy, he should have called you a donkey if you're a girl, he should have called you a female dog
omgzdude 0
A) what's wrong with goriilas? B) response: I see a couple show off jackasses.
Boffer 0
Isn't gorilla a nickname for a torpedo or a bodyguard?
Squinklies 1
Were you wearing a gorilla suit...? If not, what an ass. Sorry OP :(
lostinthelight 0
Well if they said "Hey, it's like we're.." wouldn't that mean THEY were the ones that were on Animal Planet?
pxndiieinsanity 6
:3 Ouch,kinda shitty night there,then.
Miooow 16
Aaarggh it hurts I know how it feels to be the ugly one. I feel your pain.
babe7260 30
Aww I'm so sorry Honey!!!! Like Mom always said, they're talking shit about you to try to make themselves feel better !!!!