Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my best friend invited me to dinner at his house. When I went to the toilet, I found my wife's wedding ring in a cup, which she'd lost a week ago. FML
Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML
Today, my husband went on a boys' night but I found his wedding ring on the nightstand so I confronted him when he got home. He was wearing his ring. What I had was a brass olive ring for plumbing so now I look like a jealous idiot. FML
Today, my girlfriend lost one of her rings. I found this out as I overheard her gushing to her friend about how I must have borrowed it to find out what her ring size is. I have zero interest whatsoever in the sick and utterly immoral institution of marriage. FML
Today, despite been married for less than two days, my husband has managed to lose his wedding ring. FML
Today, at work, my vindictive, cheating ex made me clean and inspect her new wedding ring. FML
Today, as I peeled a now soggy Band-Aid off my finger, I discovered that in the dim light of yesterday evening, I had, with great anxiety, wrapped it around the wrong finger. FML
Today, I was so happy to be divorced from my asshole husband, I threw my ring off the bridge near the park where we met. As I was walking away, a diver surfaced, yelled, “I think you dropped this, miss” and threw the ring back at me. I can't catch a break today. FML
Today, I went on my fifth date with my new girlfriend. Apparently, she was in such a rush while leaving work that she forgot to take off her wedding ring. FML
Today, my hand was stung by a wasp. It has resulted in all my fingers being swollen and therefore much bigger than usual. I'm getting married tomorrow and there's no way I can get the ring on my finger. FML
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Top comments
macskapingvin 0
You shouldn't find out what it looks like until you put your own on. Next, you'll be sleeping with her husband just to find out what that feels like, right? I hope they don't have to cut him off you.
DocBastard 40
Some countries would consider that you basically performed a divorce ceremony by taking the woman's ring and cutting it. Congratulations on destroying this brand new marriage, you insenitive wench. I hope you're proud of yourself.
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Comments (190)
dlas 5
you idiot......
tencentsakiss 19
iicaptain!! I was under the impression that you fell off the face of the earth.
Azizka15 0
OP is dumb, use soap and hot water to extend the particle's distance from one another, that way the ring will expand a bit and you can get it off. If you got it on, you can get it off because Im sure you didn't gain like 20 pounds then tried to take it off
tencentsakiss 19
Actually cold water would work better because it would shrink OP's finger. My boyfriend bought me a ring and when I went in to try it on, the guy told me not to do it with cold hands because my finger would be 1/2 a size smaller.
merritalstatus 3
you deserved it but your friend didn't.
Acousticpixie14 6
Did you ever think to drain the blood from your hand by raising it above your head? Then use soap/spit/crisco/butter/etc. to get the ring off. If you could get it on, you could get it off. Shame on the ER doctor, too, for not getting it off, that's ridiculous. I hope to God you asked for permission first, I'd be livid if someone took my ring and ended up having it cut off!
BloodyHeel 8
I love how you called yourself pathetic, OP.
LiznessMonster 9
Okay now OP, how is your friend's husband going to react to THAT. I'm not a man, but I know people go though a lot of heart break and pain just trying to find a good ring and coughing up the cash for it, what if he was still paying it off? It wasn't a good idea before you did it, and it still isn't one.
tahaplh 0
awesome dude
tannthom 0
the ring or the finger?
SamSayzRAWRZ 0
Oh wow. You should have known that it's not all one-size-fits-all! YDI.