Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML
Today, none of us had any idea that our grandfather was a huge racist until I brought my new girlfriend over to a family gathering, and he started yelling because she's Indian, some of the most disgusting racial slurs I’ve ever heard. We left when it looked like he might actually hit her. FML
Today, my racist grandmother was complaining that the new nurse at her nursing home is a black woman. I casually asked, "Is she cute?" I'm now out of the will. FML
Today, my grandmother tried to lecture me about discrimination. This is the same woman who lies about her grandchildren's race, and tried to convince a Jewish person that the Jews were responsible for the Holocaust. FML
Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML
Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has Alzheimer's and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML
Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML
Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML
Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML
Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML
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Top comments
Mmkay1515 21
Introduce her to your black boyfriend.
ozpunker 20
It's funny how often sweet old grannies are hardcore racists.
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Comments (99)
Bemmo 3
If she's talking about Tropic Thunder, actually he's a white guy playing a white guy playing an Australian playing a black guy.
mattlw 25
Time for a little valium crushed up in the afternoon coffee wouldn't you say?
StanSmith2013 26
Gotta love how old people are closet hardcore racists!
escobar07 10
I like her. Why is this a fml you little ungrateful bastard!!!!
datbadvodoojuju 6
He was the black guy in tropic thunder??!!
lemurman108 24
"Whip the piss" out of someone... That's a new one on me.
Rababco 29
How dare she insult RDJ, he's innocent in all this! She better watch out because Tony Stark and his awesome girlfriend Pepper Pots might get revenge!
alloybaby05 18
Tropic Thunder!! How'd she know about that... Oh my.
Anonymous_the1st 8
I would egg her on to say more, because my dad sold all of my black friends.