Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML
Today, none of us had any idea that our grandfather was a huge racist until I brought my new girlfriend over to a family gathering, and he started yelling because she's Indian, some of the most disgusting racial slurs I’ve ever heard. We left when it looked like he might actually hit her. FML
Today, my racist grandmother was complaining that the new nurse at her nursing home is a black woman. I casually asked, "Is she cute?" I'm now out of the will. FML
Today, my grandmother tried to lecture me about discrimination. This is the same woman who lies about her grandchildren's race, and tried to convince a Jewish person that the Jews were responsible for the Holocaust. FML
Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML
Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has Alzheimer's and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML
Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML
Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML
Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML
Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML
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Top comments
Mmkay1515 21
Introduce her to your black boyfriend.
ozpunker 20
It's funny how often sweet old grannies are hardcore racists.
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Comments (99)
anishays 11
I wouldn't have asked her to leave, I would've just kicked her out.
rdjzass 1
I'd be kicking grandma's ass.... nobody hates on RDJ.. she will burn in hell for her comments ;)
Ziggy122 15
Oh, heeeeeeelllllllll no. Nobody ***** with RDJ. NOBODY.
echo998 2
why is everyone's grandma on this app racist and ****** up?
TheBrochure 22
Because this is the safe haven where those with racist and ****** up grandmas come to vent, and perhaps commiserate. Why would somebody post about how their totally awesome grandma called them and their friends of various races (just to stick it to the man!) out of school and then give them $10,000 cash on **** My Life.com?
VeganVampyre 27
Just for you, 34- "today, my awesome, loving, grandma came for a visit. She baked me cookies and we ate them while watching sitcoms and doing the crossword together. I hope she never goes home. (Not)FML" That better? :D
kemic 7
Only until they find someone better to play an eccentric billionaire with an awesome powered suit... Or Sherlock Holmes...
the202 4
She sounds like my ex-girlfriends grandmother.
Kk_Waylen24 21
Nice grandma! At least she's entertaining:)
Ameel_fml 19
I wonder what she thinks of Robert Downey Jr. dressing as a Chinese man and a woman in the latest Sherlock Holmes movie?
MidnaLink 35
YDI for lettinge her in, if you knew she was like that! Damn, she's like my uncle!
soccerstar1996 18
The number of grannies that have caused FML's is TOO DAMN HIGH