Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML
Today, none of us had any idea that our grandfather was a huge racist until I brought my new girlfriend over to a family gathering, and he started yelling because she's Indian, some of the most disgusting racial slurs I’ve ever heard. We left when it looked like he might actually hit her. FML
Today, my racist grandmother was complaining that the new nurse at her nursing home is a black woman. I casually asked, "Is she cute?" I'm now out of the will. FML
Today, my grandmother tried to lecture me about discrimination. This is the same woman who lies about her grandchildren's race, and tried to convince a Jewish person that the Jews were responsible for the Holocaust. FML
Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML
Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has Alzheimer's and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML
Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML
Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML
Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML
Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Mmkay1515 21
Introduce her to your black boyfriend.
ozpunker 20
It's funny how often sweet old grannies are hardcore racists.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (99)
Ray_of_midnight 23
Must be like Randal's grandmother in Clerks 2. Just make sure you don't start using your grandma's language in an effort to "take it back".
blessedbylife 6
badass old lady
SuzeDee 9
Disown anyone who disses Robert Downey!!
caysters 12
Funny thing is, in that movie he played an actor pretending to be black... So he was an actor playing an actor playing a black man...
amifaiyaz 12
Your grandmother came from a different time, you should understand. If she truly is just an asshole, don't worry, her kind are pretty obsolete anyway.
Roflcopter70412 9
You should hire a bunch of gay black men to strip around her.
rhapsodys 12
Your grandmother has serious issues. By the way, Robert is awesome. I repeat, AWESOME.
Storia30 9
Word up! They can totally keep that negative sh@t private!
Saikon1357 25
Remind me not to introduce her to my gf...
DazedSiren 5
Get over yourself, she's an old lady. Suck it up, buttercup.