By sales ham - 06/03/2013 05:44 - United States

Today, I was reciting lines for a play that I'm in. It was going great, until I realized that I was actually reciting my scripted sales pitch from my telemarketing job. FML
I agree, your life sucks 26 275
You deserved it 7 954

Same thing different taste

Top comments

That's why they tell you to never mix business with pleasure.

9- I doubt that. You're getting paid. We are just hating you.


That's why they tell you to never mix business with pleasure.

Maybe people wont be so quick to hang up now...maybe.

dontpanic_fml 32

So it really wasn't going great...

I'm a telemarketer and we hate calling as much as you hate answering.

9- I doubt that. You're getting paid. We are just hating you.

dontpanic_fml 32

Man you're right 14, jobs are never something that you have to do because you have no other choice even though you loath every minute of the tasks you need to perform...I forgot that when you get paid everything's golden. That's why everyone loves their job always.

I had a telemarketing job for a few weeks. Hated every second of it! But it made me a tougher person to criticism and made me more respectful toward those annoying calls. Why be nasty to them? They're just doing their job and you could "politely" ask to have your number removed from their list.(:I

Yes. Because asking to have your name removed works so well. It works almost as well as the federal DNC list. All that did is make sure that my telemarketing calls come from outside the country.

wlddog 14

The whole system is messed up. I got a land line for my house once, and within minutes of getting te phone turned on a telemarketer called it. I was shocked.

crazytwinsmom 25

They wouldn't be so annoying if they didn't wake me up on a weekend morning!

I worked as a telemarketer for two months and hated every single second. Worst job ever, but I had to pay the rent somehow and they were the only place hiring. I still remember my damn spiel and it's been like seven years.

At least you're ace at what's earning your bread and butter ;)

sugarshane007 20

Not sure if that's exactly something to be proud of, telemarketing being the STD's of phone calls.

Whatever pays the bills :) They're not trying to irritate you, they hate doing it too.

sugarshane007 20

This is true, but it's still like being the test subject for an experimental drug to cure herpes. You just hope there isn't an adverse reaction.

Make sure you don't recite the plays lines while at your job

So how does it feel to have one of the most hated jobs in the history of mankind? On the scale of horribleness, telemarketers rank just below "walking in wet socks" and just above "stepping in dog shit".

kaycol 8

I had no idea wet socks and dog crap were even in the same ball park

dontpanic_fml 32

And yet, they are people just doing what they need to do and trying to make a living like the rest of us. You can hate the system, you can hate the corporation, but please cut the actual person calling you some slack.

#16 - I'm amazed at how perfectly your defense of telemarketers could be applied, word for word, to car-jackers, home burglars, and bank robbers. Hey, they're just doing what they need to do.

Dontpanic - It's difficult to cut any slack to the people calling me during dinner, while I'm putting my kids to sleep, and on weekends, and then NOT letting me go when I try to act polite, doing everything they can to keep me on the phone. No, I will NOT cut you some slack.

Telephones are very intrusive. Loud and annoying and must be dealt with immidiately. If they wanted me to cut them some slack they could email me so I can route them straight to my spam folder. And before I get jumped, I worked as a telemarketer in Boston in the 90's. I caught some hate but I didn't take it personally. I was being paid to do it and the people I worked for and with were pretty great. It was the people I had to call that were the assholes. And I understand completely why.

dontpanic_fml 32

I know that nobody wants to deal with telemarketers, docbastard, but the people you are talking about are people with families just doing what they most likely have to do because they can't get another job. I doubt anyone's aspiration is to become a telemarketer. What I'm saying is that directing anger at service-level employees who are performing their duties makes everything worse. Hang up, write the company, whatever... I have never been a telemarketer, FYI, but I've worked in inbound call centers for a long time.

Doc, how dare you put a range between walking in wet socks and stepping in dog shit, and completely neglect one of the most painful, annoying feelings known to man: stepping on a Lego. You of all people should know that, with kids and whatnot!

sugarshane007 20

31 - I think that sums up telemarketing quite well. They are the equivalent of stepping on a lego, for ears. You wish such anguish on no one.

Epikouros 31

If you can't find another job, you can still become a prostitute or a drug dealer, and deliver a service that people ask for.

oj101 33

OP: "Alas poor yorick... Would you be interested in a TV and Internet bundle for only $50 per month?"

Nice idea, but that line doesn't really make sense with that offer...

oj101 33

#15 - I was juxtaposing reciting lines for a play (in this case, Hamlet) and reciting his telemarketing sales pitch. Do I deserve a cookie for at least trying Cookie Monster?

RedPillSucks 31

Cookie monster has retired, so no cookies for you. Try one of my new tasty vegetable snacks, like tofu, slow roasted, or this shitaki mushroom sauteed in butter used to pull the THC from these cannabis flower.

OP- I can only hope your play's a musical and you're going to realize later today that you're singing your hated sales pitch to horrified customers..... "Somewhere, over the rainbow, you will buy This mini deep fry cooker So you can make you some fries!"

perdix 29

Was it "Death of a Salesman?" If so, spoiler alert: It doesn't end well for you.

sugarshane007 20

Nooooooo!! I hadn't finished reading it yet!

FML Comments: more entertaining than actual FML.