Laugh My Ass Off

oh just shove your hands back up your ass so you can save me having to read stupid comments like yours, peanut

He's one of THOSE professors. The trick is to bring him coffee and compliment him on his awesomely brilliant, yet quirky tie... And that's how you patronize a crazy prof

for some reason while reading this I thought of the teacher from mean girls who yelled "stay in your assigned seat!"

Minus five cool points for you sir.

17. That is called kissing ass.

Sorry to say but I can't physically shove my hands up my rectum.

No 24, it's called strategizing.

30-don't bite the hand that feeds you...

24, it's called passing.

I prefer the term brown nosing. It's slightly more disgusting, yet humorous.

haha u should be, i believe the professor word for word and that OP is a stupid donkey, YDI.

Am I getting older, or are all these FMLs not funny anymore?

shit fthislyfe, you forgot to blame your humorlessness on your country. that's like Bankrupt forgetting to make an fml all about her and her awful, evil parents in one of her comments. it's just not right

52, some are fucking hilarious. Then some days are meh.

Perhaps your previous teachers SHOULD be shot :O

He probably said that bc you stopped sleeping with him

fthislyfe, you're 19 years old for fucks sake. You just started wiping your own arse. As you might not find these FML's humorous, others might. So go find your broom and GTFO, wicked wench of the middle east.

Well, all I wanted to say was that this site used to be funnier. You didn't have to show how stupid and immature you all are. Yes I'm 19, but my brain is much bigger than you. At least I don't categorize people with their race. And also Shrek (?) it's such a joy to see you angry again. I love doing this. Keep it up.

Your brain is bigger than me? Wow, how do you carry around your head? In a wheel-barrow. I'm not categorizing anyone, idiot. That was by no means a shot at the middle east, STFU and quit sending me messages.

@ 92 Who are you to tell her that she can't categorize people on their race? You profile info says that you don't respect religious people. Hypocrite. This doesn't mean that i agree with her. I just think that you don't have the right to tell her not to be prejudiced when you are also prejudiced.
A bigger brain doesn't necessarily mean that you are smarter.

96: You say that like I've sent you millions of messages. While I've only sent one. I could have said that here but I didn't want to make you more embarrassed in "public"
You're not even worthy of an argument.

You will never embarrass me....I can guarantee that one. You're nothing more than a flea on the nut-sac of life looking for a place to rest your weary head. Don't even start with me because it won't end up good.

97: Ideas can be changed. We have a brain to think with. But our race is not in our control. By the way I'm really proud of being Persian.

Oh boy I'm really scared now. What are you gonna do to me? Please have mercy I'm really sorry. Poop face

77, I don't think that was the reason

I guess then it would be a good idea not to tell him who your former teachers were

#17...or or you could just sleep with the professor. should be an Easy A (:

Oh I bet you do that #125...hoe

Would have been funnier if OP had been home schooled.

Ahaha me 2 !

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Ummm... No

Yea #2, because it's his fault his professor snapped at him for being stupid./sarcasm. Do you have things better to do, like masturbate to dogs humping?

thank you 59 you reminded me of what i was doing.

Ha same here #2. Op must done something especially seeing that his professor snapped (showing that this has built up for a while).

I can't wait for the moment when every1luvsb0ners discovers what you've been doing here. Your pathetic facade shall soon be over. It shall be glorious!

Is this really boners?

#115 me?!?!?!

143- Do people tease you about your obsession to view bestiality porn? Because I don't think that's normal.

You must have given a stupid answer to piss him off. Did you answer it as "69bj"?

173 i c wat u did there

sounds like you've got a job to do...

Bang the professor... Cuz that always works.. *sigh*

Lock him in his car with a bunch of angry bees?

Listen, I appreciate what you're teaching, but you're just a professor, stop preaching. Your words keep landing on deaf ears, so shut up to add a couple more years. I'm not a poet or anything near like it, but right about now all i'm thinking is fuck it. Let me go back home and grab an elephant gun, you need a listen in physics and that's bound to be fun. There's a little worry in your eyes, but that's ok, there's a lesson to be taught on another day. You can stop right there, don't reach for that phone. Remember last night when you took me home? That was a tight situation that you got yourself into, but this pussy's not for sale so rub one out or two. I'm smiling now that this moment's mine, but what about tomorrow when we both got to dine? Excuse me father, but I have a disorder. It doesn't matter though, you're the definition of former.

Just saying, my history teacher told us the first day of class we are all stupid and have been taught by our previous teachers is the American way; be stupid, and always listen to what your told. it takes a smart teacher to realize and teach the truth.

Tell him his mom should have had an abortion.

From my current point of view on this professor.. I'm starting to think that she tried, and it failed..

I'd say that to him! Hahaha

nyan

Nyan cat. Yes that is my picture. Nyan cat is epic.

Nyan cat should be shot.

120- nyan cat is in space, therefore that is impossible.

A modern gun doesn't require oxygen. It creates its own chemical reaction. Therefore Nyan can be shot in space.

Also have you not seen Star Wars?

The point is that if you were to shoot a gun in space it would not hit the target due to the lack of gravity. Not a need for O2. Dear God! What are they teaching in schools these days?!

But it would have forward momentum. So it would always keep moving until it hit something. Hopefully Nyan cat or Jar-Jar.

Just to clear things up, soviets tried it in the space race. It would go in a straight line for a short time. Then it would start an orbit, and this would all be Happening very slowly due to the lack of oxygen. Therefore nyan cat will not die, and your argument is invalid. And star wars is not real. (don't get me wrong, I love star wars.) so stfu.

#135 Actually,the bullet from a modern handgun could hit Nyan Cat in space. As there is no air in space,there is no friction to slow the bullet down so it would keep going in a straight line until it was stoppped, by poor little Nyan cat's face.

Oh and, your right. A modern gun does create it's own chemical reaction. but it's space, dumbass. So it would be happening VERY slowly. But it's still too slow to kill, and you just be pushed backwards as well because there is nothing to stop you, unless you grab on to something. Your argument is still invalid. Why you gotta hate on the nyan cat?

Ok, I'm stupid, you guys are right. But nyan should still live... 1)if there was nothing supporting you, most of the kinetic energy would go towards forcing you back 2) do have any idea where nyan cat is? 3) you'd have to be super accurate. Your in space, so you probably wouldn't be focusing on killing nyan. And your floating, nyan is moving. 99.9 percent chance you won't get in space. 4) nyan cat is the most epic YouTube video ever.
So why kill him? 5) if you were within 10,000 feet of earth's atmosphere, if would curve and start an orbit eventually hitting earth. So your argument is still most likely invalid. Boom.

If Nyan Cat exists, so do the laws of Star Wars... and any other rules of physics I can think of. Therefore Nyan Cat is dead.

151- NYAN CAT IS VERY REAL AND NO ONE IS CRUEL ENOUGH TO KILL A POP TART CAT! YOU SHALL SHUT THE FUCK UP AND SLIT YOUR FUCKING WRIST AND BURN IN HELL AND DIE AND DIE AND DIE!!!!! I WILL DEFEND NYAN CAT UNTILL DEATH!!!!

Might i say, WHAT A MINDFUCK!?

Lol

How in the world did this comment go from abortion, to Nyan Cat, to killing Nyan Cat, to explaining the spatial laws of physics and anomalies in order to explain that killing a space dwelling poptart-shaped cat is relatively impossible?

Ok Nutty Professor

Ouchhhhh.....

Leave his class, so he is now a former teacher. That'll backfire on him.

Key word backfire.

Maybe he wasnt having a good day

I could imagine OP saying right after the professors outburst, "but I've already had you as a professor for the past 3 years."

tell him you made an A in anatomy. then close your eyes and do what you have to do for education.

No. Just ... no.

LMFAO! Sounds like O.P. went to public school.

Bro, you stole my picture. Totally not cool.

And what is wrong with public school?

Bro, you have less then 30 comments. I've had this picture for my last 150. Be original ffs.

I don't comment alot..... I've had this picture since I made this account.

Yeah, you made it.. What, 4 hours ago? No, don't even try. You're a fraud and that is that. I'm not responding further.

Lol I thought it was just one person talking to themselves

I made my account a year ago but I don't usually comment and I got the picture from google.

Will you idiots quit fighting please?
Unless one of you is an artist an actually created the content of the picture in question, then neither of the current pictures belong to you and you're both using someone's art without their consent.

That should be said to some of my teachers...

Sounds like a nice guy..

Sounds like I would like this professor.

Yeah but he wouldn't like you :D