Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be funny to change my ringtone to some guy crooning "Thank heaven for little girls" and then call me during today's teacher-parent conference. FML
Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML
Today, I was talking to a co-worker about birth control. Ten minutes later, I went to my sent e-mails to copy and reuse an old e-mail and realized I had sent "I tried calling you but your birth control is not working" to a student. It was supposed to say "voicemail". FML
Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML
Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML
Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML
Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
Today, I went back home after seeing the doctor, I told my boyfriend my new medicine might cause some mood swings. He immediately grabbed his phone and pretended to take a call, then rushed out. FML
Today as I was waiting at the gynecologist I texted my husband to see if birth control pills were covered on our insurance...yep texted my boss instead who I had been asking about a raise..don’t think I’ll be getting that raise... FML
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Top comments
DeidaraAkatsuki 17
He's a keeper.
slooby_fml 25
That's pretty funny. I hope you have a sense of humor. I also hope you know how to get revenge
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Comments (120)
ArtinHopar 16
I'm stealing that.
rachaelward 19
You're boyfriend is hilarious! May have been awkward at the time, but you'll look back at it and laugh
yuzuru_fml 12
your*
yomamaisonfier 7
Effective.
tragicnightmare 15
I'd like to know how the other people in the waiting room reacted
cieloalicia 16
I'm sure some of the others in the waiting room found it funny. Don't sweat it too hard
madridistagirl 13
It's embarrassing in the moment but look back at it & you'll find it hilarious!
perdix 29
I hope you weren't at the abortion clinic.
vintaqe 28
Ahahahaha
Roskie 16
You pressed eleven buttons to make that reply when you could have pressed just one to like.
Jemm_fml 29
What's truly odd is that you counted how many buttons were pressed.
fax160 13
You could have just clicked one as well.
katdaiken 16
Why does it matter to you how many buttons she pressed? Loser
Roskie 16
It's not hard to count. You don't seem "naturally easy to get along with."
mealsonwheels 12
A little awkward in waitin' room after that eh?
katties 27
That's quite awesome! :P Fun fact though: it's better to take birth control right before bed because you are then less likely to get head aches because of them - the hormone levels will spike in the morning, like they naturally do.
snugglesMcGee199 23
Is this why people get the urge to make the beast with two backs in the morning?
ThisBitchhhxo 6
Sucks to suck