Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be funny to change my ringtone to some guy crooning "Thank heaven for little girls" and then call me during today's teacher-parent conference. FML
Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML
Today, I was talking to a co-worker about birth control. Ten minutes later, I went to my sent e-mails to copy and reuse an old e-mail and realized I had sent "I tried calling you but your birth control is not working" to a student. It was supposed to say "voicemail". FML
Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML
Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML
Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML
Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
Today, I went back home after seeing the doctor, I told my boyfriend my new medicine might cause some mood swings. He immediately grabbed his phone and pretended to take a call, then rushed out. FML
Today as I was waiting at the gynecologist I texted my husband to see if birth control pills were covered on our insurance...yep texted my boss instead who I had been asking about a raise..don’t think I’ll be getting that raise... FML
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Top comments
DeidaraAkatsuki 17
He's a keeper.
slooby_fml 25
That's pretty funny. I hope you have a sense of humor. I also hope you know how to get revenge
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Comments (120)
olpally 32
That is an epic move by him, but embarrassing overall. Lol. Your bf needs to grow up a little. He has a good sense of humor though, not gonna lie. Haha.
vintaqe 28
Your boyfriend is a genius. Reward with sex.
kozzard 17
I approve of the concept of rewarding good humour with sex.
OnlyTheDarkest 17
I can't decide whether Perdix would be gettin' a lot or none at all by that system...
jelly713 19
Probably abuse & sex. Abuse for being obscene but sex for making them laugh. So very rough sex?
vipirius 18
Maybe he's into that kind of thing?
SasquatchDeluxe 10
FYL...but not your boyfriend for awhile. That'll teach him!
empbob 20
Punishing by withholding sex has been proven to be a bad way to exert control. It tends to cause discontent in relationships, and cheating.
doitlikeabrotha 10
I love this, marry that man! But don't forget to take your pill
Elfkid21 19
your boyfriend is an @$$ hole....
doitlikeabrotha 10
I desperately need to know the tune he sang this to OP
buddy51 23
"It's Howdy Doody time, it's Howdy Doody time...."
Sugar_Sugar_fml 4
Because you forget to take your pill, and perhaps conceive a baby, it rules out that he's the father? FYL
thejimler 9
In fairness to dudes, it is unfair if they don't want to have children yet/ever for certain reasons (wanting better financial stability before settling down, doubts about having gf as long term partner, etc) and the girl misleads them into thinking she is using protection to get knocked up, either to guilt them into staying with her or to leech off him for child support. In OP's case though if the bf is that unwelcome to having kids then he should be wrapping his pecker instead, better off taking personal responsibility for prevention than to place all the burden on her if a mistake happens with her birth control.
edmunson 22
JEEZ!!! And more blah blah blah blah blah... Puke! Comment is way too long!!
Jemm_fml 29
Best... Boyfriend.... Ever. ever ever ever. I died.
wowthatissad 9
That's actually quite hilarious. Your boyfriend. I like him.
mif_fml 27
Clever.