Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be funny to change my ringtone to some guy crooning "Thank heaven for little girls" and then call me during today's teacher-parent conference. FML
Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML
Today, I was talking to a co-worker about birth control. Ten minutes later, I went to my sent e-mails to copy and reuse an old e-mail and realized I had sent "I tried calling you but your birth control is not working" to a student. It was supposed to say "voicemail". FML
Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML
Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML
Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML
Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
Today, I went back home after seeing the doctor, I told my boyfriend my new medicine might cause some mood swings. He immediately grabbed his phone and pretended to take a call, then rushed out. FML
Today as I was waiting at the gynecologist I texted my husband to see if birth control pills were covered on our insurance...yep texted my boss instead who I had been asking about a raise..don’t think I’ll be getting that raise... FML
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Top comments
DeidaraAkatsuki 17
He's a keeper.
slooby_fml 25
That's pretty funny. I hope you have a sense of humor. I also hope you know how to get revenge
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Comments (120)
refticon 31
I've been laughing with this for two whole days now, best FML ever if you ask me !
ArashiGirl 13
This...Is one of the best FML's EVER.
poppunkette 22
While it sucks it's kinda funny
me127 17
wow make sure u keep a hold of that one, u wouldn't want to lose someone that helpful
Unlucky1232 20
that last part better be a joke otherwise there's so many terrible and painful things i would do to him.
deathtojesus 20
Greatest boyfriend ever