FML : Today, I realised my parrot loves to masturbate on anything soft I own, like my sweater, house socks, blanket, and even my hair bun on the top of my head....

Today, I realised my parrot loves to masturbate on anything soft I own, like my sweater, house socks, blanket, and even my hair bun on the top of my head. I only realised this when my boyfriend pointed out that my parrot was humping my bun. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Zannanana - / Tuesday 30 October 2018 05:00 /

Animals

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By whiskey'swino | 11

#7716122 - Tuesday 30 October 2018 6:08

Watch out, you might catch chirpes. Its un-tweet-able.

By Dave_Davington | 31

#7716121 - Tuesday 30 October 2018 5:23

Polly really really wants a cracker, apparently.

Comments

By BurnInDemonFire | 24

#7707529 - Friday 12 October 2018 3:20

Can't... breathe... too... funny...

By Dave_Davington | 31

#7716121 - Tuesday 30 October 2018 5:23

Polly really really wants a cracker, apparently.

By whiskey'swino | 11

#7716122 - Tuesday 30 October 2018 6:08

Watch out, you might catch chirpes. Its un-tweet-able.

By Jeremy Phillips | 18

#7716231 - Tuesday 30 October 2018 11:03

Weird flex but okay.

By Takegami | 20

#7716310 - Tuesday 30 October 2018 13:36

Your... parrot...?

By melisssa87 | 28

#7716323 - Tuesday 30 October 2018 13:55

I have always wondered where their little penis is

By Abbusser | 8

#7716412 - Tuesday 30 October 2018 16:54

Polly want a whacker...

By fde2blknimout | 15

#7716451 - Tuesday 30 October 2018 18:38

At least something gets turned on by your hair bun

By mekiswrite | 18

#7716488 - Tuesday 30 October 2018 20:15

It might be time to get him a friend.

By Taurus_ChicKa | 34

#7718254 - Saturday 3 November 2018 17:02

I wasn't aware that parrots had the ability to masturbate.

Similar

Truthbomb

Today, I made my niece cry when I told her that snakes are just tails with faces. She won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house when we noticed her cat was missing. We saw it on the roof and so I thought I would try to look good by offering...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day....

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Animals

Nearly

Today, I had been feeling very ill, so I asked my partner to clean the house whilst I got some rest. Instead of touching any of the cleaning, he gamed...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, my dad told me that my trip to London (to visit him) has been cancelled due to 'work issues'. My departure was scheduled the day after tomorrow...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

See all the Nearly FMLs

World

Loading data…

Canada

Today, my girlfriend kept texting me while I was at work, insisting for hours that I leave early because she was so horny. After arguing with my boss and...

Australia

Today, I asked the guy of my dreams out to the cinema. After saying to me "It's a date!" I started booking tickets. He said, "Why are you booking two?"...

See all the World FMLs

Photos

See all FML photos