Today, I realised my parrot loves to masturbate on anything soft...

By Zannanana - 30/10/2018 05:00

Today, I realised my parrot loves to masturbate on anything soft I own, like my sweater, house socks, blanket, and even my hair bun on the top of my head. I only realised this when my boyfriend pointed out that my parrot was humping my bun. FML

I agree, your life sucks

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You deserved it

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Top comments

By whiskey'swino | 15

#7716122 - Tuesday 30 October 2018 6:08

Watch out, you might catch chirpes. Its un-tweet-able.

By Dave_Davington | 33

#7716121 - Tuesday 30 October 2018 5:23

Polly really really wants a cracker, apparently.

Comments

By BurnInDemonFire | 28

#7707529 - Friday 12 October 2018 3:20

Can't... breathe... too... funny...

By Dave_Davington | 33

#7716121 - Tuesday 30 October 2018 5:23

Polly really really wants a cracker, apparently.

By whiskey'swino | 15

#7716122 - Tuesday 30 October 2018 6:08

Watch out, you might catch chirpes. Its un-tweet-able.

By Jeremy Phillips | 18

#7716231 - Tuesday 30 October 2018 11:03

Weird flex but okay.

By Takegami | 22

#7716310 - Tuesday 30 October 2018 13:36

Your... parrot...?

By melisssa87 | 30

#7716323 - Tuesday 30 October 2018 13:55

I have always wondered where their little penis is

By Abbusser | 9

#7716412 - Tuesday 30 October 2018 16:54

Polly want a whacker...

By fde2blknimout | 18

#7716451 - Tuesday 30 October 2018 18:38

At least something gets turned on by your hair bun

By mekiswrite | 19

#7716488 - Tuesday 30 October 2018 20:15

It might be time to get him a friend.

By Taurus_ChicKa | 35

#7718254 - Saturday 3 November 2018 17:02

I wasn't aware that parrots had the ability to masturbate.