By thisisnotavirustrustme.exe - 18/04/2015 19:34 - United States - New City

Today, I discovered why my pet bird has been hiding behind my couch pillow lately. It's not because she was nesting, as I thought. She's been secretly tearing apart the whole couch from behind there instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 345
You deserved it 4 691

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Polly wants some cotton. She could also be looking for loose change to hire the cute pigeon from outside the window.

Sounds like the bird may become dinner soon.

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Polly wants some cotton. She could also be looking for loose change to hire the cute pigeon from outside the window.

I'm making it a point, maybe even a goal to reply with "well shite!" every time I see your comments.

I read quite penguin... I was pretty confused

Sounds a lot like my 2 bunnies, only they hide out underneath the couch and nest inside it

Sounds like the bird may become dinner soon.

Screwed you are

That is bizarrely cute

Yeah, so bizarrely cute that OP now has to pay for a new couch.

And the price for a new couch isn't cute at all. These things are expensive.

Don't buy couches, just go on Craigslist. People would rather give them away than pay to have them moved to their new home. And this is straight up adorable. Do I like that my cats smack me in the face to wake me up? No, but it's still cute. OP likes her couch in one piece, but certainly she's amused by her bird's whacky antics.

Craigslist couches? What a great idea; who knows what kind of bonus mites and pathogens are included as a free gift!

Live a little and clean it, ya wuss. ❤

How do you even disciple a bird? ... Condolences to the couch, and maybe it's time to cage - shop as well as a new couch.

How to disciple a bird? "Do you have a minute to talk about our Lord and Savior, the Great Bald Eagle?"

First, the bird must exhibit faith and loyalty to the Couch. It must pray to the couch and work miracles in its name. It must gather followers to the Holy Mother Couch so that the truth may be spread throughout the land. Then, it is a disciple.

Birds are extremely trainable. There is no reason to keep them in a cage at all times. I am sure op has one though. Birds like to shred it keeps their beaks from over growing. Unfortunately at times they do the unexpected, like when my power went out when I wasn't home. Mine took it upon himself to pick at the trimming on my wall. It's about a inch wide. I put tape down for a few days and said no, and now he knows what he did is wrong.

Polly: Hide and Seek Champion of the home. Just one step closer to edging out Bigfoot for Champion of the World!

I don't understand the downvotes; this is funny. I guess there are too many overly-sensitive FMLers here

"I think I saw a pussy cat"

Don't you just love animals?

My conure used to destroy my clothes. Just give him/her something else they can chew or rip apart.

I destroyed his bookcase, then the wiring behind the TV, then the carpet. And the list goes on.

I had a bunny that did the same thing. Luckily, we had a friend who was getting rid of his almost new couch, so we got one for free. Hopefully you get the same kind of luck!