Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML
Today, I took my 15-year-old daughter to our local shooting range for her birthday, as she requested. While she was setting up a target in front of me, I jokingly pulled the trigger and shouted, "Think Fast!" not realizing that the safety was off. I shot my daughter in the arm on her birthday. FML
Today, my parents forgot it was my birthday. They ordered me to scrub the common bathroom, and when I asked if they'd remembered, my dad's reaction was, "Oh! Really?" My mom's was, "I thought that it was next week." What lovely parents I have. FML
Today, my parents took me out to dinner. I thought they were taking me because it's my birthday. Turns out they are getting divorced. They forgot it was my birthday. FML
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Today, my aunt asked to see my new airsoft pistol. Not thinking anything of it, I handed it to her. She shot me in the leg. I was standing next to her. FML
Today, I thought my family would like it if I celebrated the new year with them. My brother thought that I'd like him to shoot my butt with his new gun in celebration. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML
Today, it's my 16th birthday. My parents forgot about it, and planned a weekend out of town. I was alone on my birthday. FML
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Top comments
SharnaaaBanana 22
With an actual bullet? Or something like a BB gun?
fsomelife 26
Bazooka. Nothing out of the ordinary.
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Comments (141)
it__happens 17
What a lovely birthday present! Did you return the favor?
NonStopFunny 8
Can't she refund the present? LOL
mete_orito 34
This FML is so confusing. How come OP get shot?
foxwasalamb 24
the gods wished it so
cakefete2 31
It's because his parents either have really bad or really good aim.
FMLkoala 28
Because they are probably rednecks
nlm92 15
'murica
RedPillSucks 33
Don't pick on Rednecks. I know a lot of suburbanites who have accidentally shot their kids (some on purpose too).
Enslaved 38
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you better run, better run, outrun my gun."
kulebro13 5
I can't believe how well that song fit with this occasion. Well done, fine sir.
PoptartsKid 13
How can they "think it would be a great surprise" if it was accidental?
cakefete2 31
One of those statements has to be false, and since I'm sure OP was surprised to be shot... On a completely unrelated side note, OP might need to increase security for their next birthday party.
alicat13 12
How do you choose o accidently shot someone? That is premeditated! Charge them with attepted murder.
EXOPH 8
Dont get why youre getting downvoted...Agree with you
conman531 23
His grammar sucks that's partly why
AmexBlack 24
Also, call me old fashioned or devoutly loyal - but I would never purposefully have any of my family put into jail or charged with a crime at my account... They're family at the end of the day! Regardless of what they do -.- You can choose you're friends but you can't choose you're family...
cakefete2 31
Simple. The spelling is so bad it should be "accidentally" shot in the leg.
bfsd42 20
Get your parents put in jail for a long time??? Anyone who would do that us rather stupid.
RedPillSucks 33
Shooting someone in the knee would probably not draw the attempted murder charge.
Pat_Tricksta 13
If my family shot me in the leg ON PURPOSE, I wouldn't care if they're family, they are going to jail. I know OPs parents did it on accident so it's different, just replying to your comment
whenitdidhappen 14
what happened to the good ol' SURPRISE! and singing "happy birthday"?!.
Zebediabolical 45
Hopefully it came after the *BANG*
kasmol 16
Perhaps they shot you because of boring, pointless stories like this. Just be glad their aim isn't better.
Rayth 19
This needs a follow up. We need to know what you was shot with.
Vanshikap 24
Haha at least you have a good story to tell now OP.anyway,happy birthday. also,cn we plz have a follow up?
rs89 20
One of the hazards of having awesome parents! Happy birthday, now you can cross it off the "crazy things to do" list.